The "Ganonshaw" is a non-canon entertainment program in the Athalia universe run by Ganondorf (from Nintendo's Legend of Zelda series (the concept and manifestation of which being sole properties of Nintendo)) in his castle, which features a different Athalia Academy student or antagonist each episode. The episodes vary in format from interviews by Ganondorf to battles with Ganondorf.
The episodes are a mastermind of NarayanK, with other players only acting out their characters when they appear on the show. They were originally "aired" at the bottom of the Athalia Academy Active Posting Pad.
The show takes place in a twisted universe, where Ganondorf's power scales with that of his opponents, Nintendo 64 graphics and audience members are the norm, the fourth wall is frequently broken, and Athalia characters may possess absurd things they don't possess in the normal Athalia universe (such as Carmen Calandra's use of various heavy weapons from the Halo video game series).
After eight episodes, the show was succeeded by the "Noxonshaw".
Episode One: Interview with Katherine Argall
Ganondorf smashed aside the curtains as he wildly yelled,
"Greetings! Welcome to the Ganonshaw."
"Sir, it's 'Ganonshow,'" a nearby minion of Ganon said.
The minion was swiftly smashed out of a window. Satisfied with his deed, Ganondorf simply continued,
"At the GanonSHAW, we interview countless of people because honestly, it won't be long before Link kicks my a-s again. So let's get to it now, shall we?"
Ganondorf sat on his epic throne, pressing a conveniently positioned button on his throne, letting the giant doors before him open slowly. Building up the hype behind his invisible audience, the King of Evil shouted,
"Today, we shall be interviewing..."
The red-haired Gerudo closed his eyes dramatically...
...before shooting them open again, saying,
"...Katherine Argall! That one person who can walk on walls like a jerk!"
The doors revealed Kathy, causing the unseen audience to go wild. Some of the Stalfos decided to kill each other because Kathy could walk on walls. The few amount of Iron Knuckles simply axed each other down, discussing about how Kathy could walk on walls as they tried to kill each other.
Wearing a rather complicated expression on her face, Kathy stepped in towards Ganondorf. "Um... Where exactly am I?" She asked, looking around suspiciously. Noticing the rather odd mood in the room, she was more than prepared to just bolt out of there.
Ganondorf snapped his fingers, laughing as if he were still in the 1980s. With that said, a comfortable-looking sofa burst out of the floor next to Kathy. Motioning for her to sit, Ganondorf explained to his audience,
"Now, not only can this woman walk on walls, but she also has one thing... something I have in common."
The King of Evil pointed at his hair as he screamed,
"SHE HAS RED HAIR!!!!!!"
The audience began screaming wildly. One of the Stalfos yelled, "OH MY GOD, THAT'S SO COOL."
With the audience going ham on each other, Ganondorf simply motioned for Kathy to sit again. He was programmed to act like an N64 character. (Deal with it.)
Kathy momentarily ran her fingers through her hair. Mine's a darker shade though. But sensing a lack of common sense in the room she didn't bother to point that out. Then realizing something odd she asked, "Wait, you know about my ability?"
She looked at the sofa but didn't show any signs of sitting down on it. In fact, she still seemed pretty preoccupied with trying to grasp her surroundings.
Ganondorf suddenly smashed his hands on his throne, immediately shutting up his retarded audience. 'Good God,' Ganon thought to himself. 'I need to get more money for a decent audience next time...'
With that in mind, the King of Evil shouted, "Now, we shall immediately get to asking questions! Gotta get straight to the point... GOTTA GO FAST."
The King of Evil took out a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards out of nowhere before shuffling them as if he were a Brazilian poker professional. After plucking out a convenient card named "Three-Headed Dragon," Ganondorf looked at Kathy straight in the eye with POWER.
"QUESTION NUMBER- ahem, I mean... Question Number One."
Ganondorf asked the girl,
"On what circumstances would you walk on walls for?!"
"What circumstances..?" She was a little confused by the sudden and strange situation she was put under but decided to go with the flow for now. "There's no real particular reason or circumstance for it... I just walk on walls when it's easier for me to get around that way as opposed to just using normal routes."
The King of Evil nodded, acknowledging how Kathy would use her power of walking walls. Now, if someone like Link had the power to walk on walls, he'd be f--ked in not seven years, but seven seconds. That alone was a scary thought, especially with the fact that Link could practically kill him with an empty bottle.
Just why on God's green earth could a bottle kill a man taller than nearly everyone.
Ganondorf shook his head, shuffling his Yu-Gi-Oh cards again. He plucked out yet another card, this time picking up a card called... Giygas? He did not recall having a card like this, but he decided to just ignore it and go ham.
"Question Number Two..."
Ganondorf smashed his throne with one hand as he asked,
"If you have anyone you seriously hate, would you kill them? Yes? Or unpreferably... no?"
Kathy sighed. Apparently the questioning was going to continue so she might as well become comfortable. She finally sat down on the sofa and faced the oddly-dramatic interviewer. "I've never met someone I've hated to that extent, and don't really think I would in the future either but..." She tilted her head and looked to the side as she contemplated this over. "... Possibly. If there really was a reason why I needed to."
Ganondorf looked directly at the Etherpad screen as he said with a devilish smile,
"I suspect some good ol' EVIL coming soon in a roleplay near you."
The King of Evil smiled as he shuffled his cards, satisfied. Unlike the angel he interviewed at that one time, this person had plenty of "evil." A small amount... but good potential. With that said, Ganondorf plucked out a card that said "wtf potato chips." He didn't even need to question his cards' logic.
Smashing the throne again, Ganondorf immediately asked,
"Question Number Three! Is there anyone you have particular... interest, in?"
Ganondorf flexed his fingers- yes, he flexed his FINGERS out of all things.
Kathy jumped up in surprise when the man suddenly slammed a fist down on his throne. Also, he said something that caught her attention. "Evil? Excuse me?" It hadn't exactly been that long since the attack on their campus.
Then hearing the next question, she felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. Clearing her throat she simply said, "That's... Personal information."
Ganondorf raised an unamused eyebrow. Pursuing the ultimate knowledge of this girl's information (in other words, he just wanted to talk), the King of Evil immediately asked her without even using his cards,
"Question number four. What do you feel about Caleb Waterfront? And I won't take 'personal information' as an answer."
The audience nodded in agreement. The same Stalfos that said "OH MY GOD" proceeded to ask the fellow audience,
The entire audience killed him. Ganondorf didn't give a flying f--k, instead focusing on glaring at Kathy as intently as he could.
Kathy's face became a deeper shade of red upon hearing the familiar name, her eyes opening wide with surprise again. "W-Why would you bring him up of all people..?" She stammered out. Looking down at her feet she replied, "He's... Nice. A very friendly person. And that's all I have to say about it."
Ganondorf blinked... before leaning back on his throne with a complicated expression. It looked as if he were seriously constipated.
Suddenly, Ganondorf gave a suave look at the Etherpad screen, telling the person behind the screen,
"That's kinda cute."
With that said, the King of Evil suddenly smashed the throne. And out of nowhere, a deck of Pokemon cards were thrown from Shigeru Miyamoto, who was sorta chilling out in the skies. Ganondorf received the cards as if he were being graced by a king. With the cards in his hands, Ganondorf gently plucked out a random card, which said "Mewtwo" on it. The red-headed Gerudo smiled.
He suddenly threw the cards away, asking Kathy,
"Can you kill Caleb?"
She had a look of surprise about her again, but this time her face returned back to its original shade and she began to glare at Ganondorf. "Excuse me?" Kathy crossed her arms together as she continued to look at him with hostility. "If you mean to ask that as a joke, it's done in very poor taste."
The audience began to murmur amongst themselves. One of the Iron Knuckles, who had two giant axes sticking out of his helmet, asked his fellow "Knuckle Brahs,"
"Wow, is it me, or did Ganondorf actually ask something to consider?"
"No, dude, more importantly, how come you have two axes on your face?"
The Stalfos that had been killed by the audience earlier came back to the audience seating. WIth only his skull left, the Stalfos asked the audience,
"Like, seriously, who the F--K is Caleb?"
He got killed again.
Ganondorf shrugged. "It was just a question, but I will presume that it's... personal information."(4th Dimension Translation: No. xD)
With the interview pretty much being wrapped up to an end, Ganondorf suddenly bolted up from his throne, shouting, "And that's all for today on the Ganonshaw! Stay tuned for MOAAAAARRR, and if you want to, you can get a free Ganon doll just by calling (66) 666-6666-6666! But you remember to sell your soul when you call it!"
"Good bye, everyone, and have a nice- what the-"
Ganondorf stared at Link, who had been standing right behind the throne all along this time.
"...Oh, hi, Link," Ganondorf said, staring at Link. "Wait, you didn't even get the Master Sword yet. How the heck did you get here?"
Link proceeded to walk on a wall, still staring at Ganondorf.
"...YOU SON OF A BI-"
Ganondorf immedaitely began to run away from Link, who began to throw a bunch of empty bottles at Ganondorf. The show came to an end, an open door for Kathy to leave remaining still.
Episode Two: Interview with Caleb "Crash" Waterfront
First, there was nothing.
But then, THERE WAS GANON.
Ganondorf, the almighty King of Evil, created the famous show known as "Ganonshaw," which is literally famous only in his castle. Time after time, he uses his precious time to interview much of the universal stars of dimensions! And tonight - or today - the Gerudo King has found yet another person to interview.
Ganondorf sat deep in thought on his throne, his eyes closed with heavy intensity. Something clever lingered around his presence. Something evil... Something cunning. He was, after all, the King of Evil. Perhaps he had finally found a way to actually defeat Link and take over the land of Hyrule. Or perhaps he finally realized that it's not "Ganonshaw," but "Ganonshow."
The red-haired villain opened his eyes.
"Sorry, I was sleeping."
You mother f-
"LADIES AND GENTS, I gladly welcome you all to the GANONSHAW!!!"
The unseen audience, yet again, began to cheer wildly. There were a lot more Iron Knuckles than usual, so everytime they jumped in unison, the whole freaking castle shook as if two cyclones were attacking the castle at once. The Stalfos had come to accept that there were bound to be idiots within the audience.
"Now, I understand that you've been wanting more people to be interviewed... so I got the balls- I mean, the guts to find someone a little... different. He's special, that's for sure. He's a shapeshifter, that's for sure! Everyone, let me introduce you to..."
Ganondorf caused a mighty eruption of energy clash against each other between his hands as he shouted,
"Caleb 'Crash' Waterfront!"
One of the Stalfos screamed incoherently, "LIKE I SAID, WHO THE F--K IS CALEB?!?!"
After killing the Stalfos, the audience began to cheer. They began to wonder what this shapeshifter was like. The door to Ganondorf's Ganonshaw floor opened grandly. Ganondorf made sure to immediately summon a sofa before the show even began, for he had learned the error of his ways.
His fingers hurt every time he snapped. That was pretty much it; he just wanted to snap less often.
Crash was beyond confused as he was shoved through a door, typically he caught his foot on the lip of the doorframe as he lurched forward, he swirled his arms in a fruitless attempt to keep himself upright before he fell onto the stage face first. “Ow...” He wheezed, pulling his arms out of their starfish postion as he hastily got to his feet rubbing his abused nose. He blinked at the sight before him, his expression a mixture of awe and utter confusion as he looked at the 'King of Evil' he was at a loss of what to do right now...where was he again?
Ganondorf snapped his fingers, suddenly letting the sofa disappeared. The King of Evil snapped his fingers again, letting the sofa suddenly appear right below Crash.
"I hate snapping, but I wanna get this interview started," Ganondorf said as he took out his Magic: The Gathering cards. The King of Evil, quite fittingly, had a black deck. The Gerudo King randomly plucked out a card, ending up with a Cursed Ronin.
"Alright, so first things first... QUESTION NUMBER ONE!"
The King of Evil smashed his throne, asking Crash,
"Did you ever watch a forbidden genre of multimedia known as porn?"
Crash adopted a stunned expression as he felt something hit the back of his knees causing him to flop back onto a sofa. Questions? He physically jumped as Ganondorf smashed his hand against his throne before asking a rather unexpected question.”You’ve got to be kidding me...” Crash murmured, lifting his hand to the back of his neck as his face flushed with color almost confirming his guilt. “No comment...” He offered as an answer.
Ganondorf nodded solemnly, as if he understood Crash.
"Don't worry," he said. "I'm a virgin, too."
The King of Evil plucked out... an egg out of his cards. He hated egg cards, but still, the question this one provided was quite... strange.
"Question number two!"
Ganondorf glared at Crash, asking him,
"Your mother just caught you killing me. You realize that I was your mother instead of your real mother, and your mother was actually your father. What would you do in the next five seconds?"
Crash’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red at Ganondorfs comment. “Eh...what...I...” Yeah he couldn’t deny that one so he drowned the male ego that demanded he did. Crash blinked several times at Ganondorf. “Put myself up for adoption” He answered in a rather witty fashion glad the question offered him a chance to calm down and return to a normal color
Ganondorf suddenly deepened his glare at Crash.
All of a sudden, the King of Evil smashed his throne, causing Crash's sofa to spin at an insane amount of speed as he roared,
"YOU IDIOT, DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK I'LL BE YOUR MOTHER?!?!?!"
One of the Stalfos in the audience said to another Stalfos, "I really, REALLY WANNA KNOW WHO THIS F--KING CALEB IS!!!!"
No one was even surprised to find him dead in the next few seconds.
The sofa slowed down, and the King of Evil chuckled. He was having fun... right at the moment. Any moment now, and Link could come in walking on f--king walls again. The Gerudo King plucked out a card, finding a Drudge Skeletons card in his hands.
Ganondorf actually looked confused by what the question itself was even asking for, but he decided to go for it.
"...So, uh," the King of Evil scratched his head, attempting to decode just what the card was even trying to say. "Hold on a moment. We got a technical difficulty here."
Right at the moment, the card said,
Ganondorf simply stared at the card.
He suddenly smashed it on the throne before looking at it again. And viola, it was fixed!
"QUESTION NUMBER THREE! And you BETTER not say 'personal information'. I freaking HATE THAT ANSWER NOW!!!"
Ganondorf used his evil energy to turn the card into ashes, asking Crash, barely preventing himself from laughing in the process,
"D...Did you ever have a girlfriend? Oh, fellow virgin?"
Crash gulped as Ganondorf stared at him, flinching as he slammed his hand down on his throne a second time he clung onto the sofa like his life depended on it...it probably did. “I never liked the teacups...” He exclaimed, feeling his stomach lurch unpleasantly. As the sofa slowed down Crash remained spinning slowly from the waist up, looking a little green around the gills as he shook his head and groaned glancing over at the ‘King of Evil’ as he slapped a card on his throne He scratched his head at the question thinking over it for a moment as his cheeks tinted red again. “...No” He murmured in a small voice
Suddenly, the King of Evil looked through the Etherpad screen as he smoothly said,
"Someone's still got a chance."
The King of Evil sighed. He stared at his MTG cards, only to realize that he was only emphasizing non-evil questions. He was the King of Evil.
I'm gonna ask him about when his birthday is- NO, that's f--king retarded, Ganon!
Ganondorf thought intently.
Suddenly, the King of Evil put down his deck of cards. In fact, he placed them neatly on his throne.
"Question number four," Ganondorf said, a smile creeping into his face.
He was up to something.
"Do you happen to know of Katherine Argall?"
Crash looked out over the crowd avoiding Ganon’s eye...what was he doing here again? He was distracted by the strange things in the crowd until he heard the next question...just the mention of her name made the color staining his cheeks deepen. “Yes...” He answered warily.
The King of Evil pretended to not expect Crash's answer. But it was quite obvious: this boy probably did not know the fact that he had already interviewed the very person he just mentioned. Ganondorf snapped his fingers, letting a cup of coffee float slowly toward him... from nowhere. He thanked Shigeru Miyamoto yet again.
Taking a sip out of the coffee, Ganondorf comfortably asked Crash,
"And what do you think of her?"
One of the Iron Knuckles asked his buddy, "Wait... Ganon usually asks five questions, right?"
The "buddy" simply told him, "Shut the f--k up, I'm curious as to where this is going."
So the Knuckle shut up.
Crash looked sheepishly at Ganon, the color remained on his face and he was pretty sure his palms were a bit damp, deer stuck in headlights...”Well I...like her, I mean she’s really...nice and friendly...and” Crash trailed off lifting a hand to the back of his neck and leaving it at that, having wheedled his way out of another difficult question.
Ganondorf grabbed the cup of coffee, destroying it effortlessly. In fact, his grasp was so powerful, the cup was decimated to the point where only a few ashes remained within his hand.
A Stalfos blinked. He simply said, "Oh sh-t."
The King of Evil leaned on his throne, bluntly asking Crash,
"Did you ever want to 'eff' her up, if you know what I'm saying? Don't you dare lie to me."
Crash gulped as he watched the King of Evil decimate his coffee cup, unable to prevent the perplexed expression from crossing his face at the next question. "I don't know what you're saying..." He mumbled, lifting his hands defensively. "No lie"
Ganondorf raised an eyebrow, leaning a little closer toward Crash's direction.
"I thought you said you watched porn. Wouldn't you know what I'm talking about, then?"
Crash leant away from Ganondorf. "N-no I don't think I did say that" He pointed out, although by now his face was the same color as his hair because he had got the gist of the rather crude question.
The King of Evil shrugged, feeling extremely confident with his questioning skills at this point. He just felt like torturing this child with his mindblowing questions.
Well, actually, they were being a little more mindblowing than usual.
"Then tell me, Mr. Tomato," Ganondorf said, blowing the ashes of his cup toward a closed window... before giving Crash an extremely menacing smile.
"If you have- undeniably- watched such things, and you're unwilling to give an honest answer to my honest question, I can conclude that you have some... thoughts that cross the 'Rated R' section, am I correct?"
Keep it PG-13.
"Yeah, I'm doing a good job at that."
The King of Evil asked even further,
"I presume you have plans to get rid of your so-called 'virgin' status through this certain person?"
Crash could feel where this was going his exact train of thought was ‘Please don’t...don’t go there because now’ He pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is not happening right now...” He groaned. Despite his current facial color and the overwhelming want to just melt into a puddle -he felt if he shapeshifted into a puppy right now he’d get eaten or kicked out a window- he opened his mouth to speak. “No, that would be a bad presumption...” He started upon hearing Ganondorf’s second question his eyebrow twitched, if it was possible to go a deeper shade of red he would have done “Eh? Wha? Huh? What?!” He squeaked. “N-no, I wasn’t thinking that far!” He exclaimed in his defence ‘He’s making me sound like some kind of S deviant!’ was the thought that sprung through his mind instead of the realisation that he had admitted to something.
Ganondorf laughed, asking Crash, "That far? So you HAVE thought about this, haven't you? Or at least, NOW you're thinking about this, aren't you?"
The King of Evil realized that he had caught the entire audience's attention... and they were all eating popcorn. One Stalfos had Doritos and some Mountain Dew.
The Gerudo King bluntly continued,
"Then if you have thought about this, would you mind telling me about where your offspring shall come from? I am CURIOUS as to what places they shall come from, and what places they shall go to!"
Crash pushed the palms of his hands against his eyes gripping his hair, refusing point blank to think about it. “No! I meant I’m not thinking about R-rated stuff” Crash assured Ganondorf his voice a slightly higher pitch than normal as he pulled his hands away from his face to look at the audience. “I’m not thinking about it, don’t give me that look” He warned a dorito eating Stalfos. “Offspring?! What’d you mean where will they come from?” Crash’s embarrassment was put on hold so his idiotic confusion could make an appearance at Ganondorf’s new question. 'What the fudgenickenson is he on about?'
The King of Evil smiled nicely. Yes, he actually smiled.
"Crash," he said. "It seems you do not 'understand' my questions. Let me enlighten you on some things before asking you my long, final question."
Ganondorf nicely combed his hair with a dead man's sword before tossing it away to some corner. He then cleared his throat.
"First things first, I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking- or at least, you're trying to trick yourself into thinking 'He's lying and saying bad stuff' and whatnot. And you're probably thinking 'If I somehow act innocent to all of his questions, I'll get past this fiasco,' right? But so far, I can tell that you're the one lying, and I'm the one being innocent."
One of the Stalfos laughed. He got killed because he interrupted the show.
"Therefore, now that we got your little 'act' out of the way, Mr. Waterfront," Ganondorf said with his eyes closed.
Suddenly, the King of Evil's eyes opened, as he roared,
- And that's all for today on the Ganonshaw! Stay tuned for MOAAAAARRR, and if you want to, you can get a free Ganon doll just by calling (66) 666-6666-6666! But you remember to sell your soul when you call it!*
Ganondorf felt something tap his shoulder. He turned to Link with a confused expression.
"What is it?"
Ganondorf stared at Link.
Link asked Ganondorf, "You said you were going to keep this PG-13, amirite?"
Ganondorf died. Not before running around screaming things incoherently. A door for Crash to leave remained open.
Crash grimaced. ‘Oh please don’t’ was his thought on that suggestion. He listened to Ganondorf quietly. ‘No I wasn’t thinking that...I know you’re trying to trick me’ was his thought trail on that. ‘It’s not an act...I’ve been unfairly corrupted...’ His eyebrow twitched as Ganondorf continued. ‘I would be inclined to disagree with that...’ “What?! No!” Crash squeaked in his defence, beyond relieved as Link tapped Ganondorf’s shoulder and ended the torture. ‘All this because I fell for a smile...’ Crash sighed, though as soon as the door opened the red-haired shapeshifter was gone.
Episode Three: Interview with Carmen Calandra
Ganondorf cracked his neck, wondering if he was going to do the Ganonshaw today. But unfortunately, something felt really off with his body today. Something... cunning, within his body, had snapped him. Ever since he interviewed one of his own Stalfos, he felt all rattly.
"I'm gonna take a break-"
No you're not.
Suddenly, Ganondorf was programmed to carry on with yet another interview.
"LADIES AND GENTS," Ganondorf yelled as the unseen audience screamed Ganondorf's name over and over and over again, "I proudly present to you-"
"The one and only-"
"-trumpet player of-"
"SHUT THE F--K UP, EVERYONE!!! I INTRODUCE YOU TO CARMEN CALANDRA!!!"
A grand sofa burst ouf of the ground the instant moment the doors had opened. Ganondorf sat on his trusty, dented throne, making himself feel comfortable.
Carmen suddenly found herself thrust into a throne room or something with zero warning. There was a very big, very evil guy on the throne, who Carmen instantly knew as Ganondorf via fourth wall exploitation. After the initial shock subsided and she checked that she still had her trumpet and hat, she immediately took the liberty of sitting down on the couch, reclining at once.
She thought about the situation. She could come up with no logical explanation.
Well, weirder things have happened. I'll just go along with it, she thought to herself.
Looking around, she saw the invisible visible N64 audience. "Hmm," she said again.
Turning back to Ganondorf, she sat reclining in her couch and asked simply, "May I help you?"
"QUESTION NUMBER ONE!!!" Ganondorf literally screamed the instant moment Carmen spoke to him.
One of the Stalfos sh-t his pants and killed himself. Another Stalfos asked the audience, "I swear on God's green Earth, who the f--k is Caleb?"
As the Stalfos died, Ganondorf suddenly pressed a button on his throne, causing the nearby Death Mountain to suddenly erupt, sending a Pokeball toward the throne. Ganondorf dramatically caught it like the King of Evil he was before smashing the Pokeball on the ground. Ganondorf gained the Pokeball's knowledge as he shouted,
"Is there anyone in particular you are supporting in anyway?"
Carmen took it all in. An interview? Am I applying for a job? she thought, shrugging at the Etherpad screen. Looking back at Ganondorf, she replied to his odd question. "Supporting? In what way?"
"...Any way. Financially, romantically, I don't give a flying f--k, honestly."
"Well, not in either of those two ways at least. I don't think I'm really supporting anyone, actually. Unless causing embarrassment can be considered 'supporting', in which case...two people."
"Two, you say? Hmm... and who might that be?"
"Crash and Kathy. I'm assuming you know of them. They're so easy to embarrass," she said with a chuckle.
Ganondorf gave a hearty laugh as another Pokeball landed on his hand. "Ha ha ha! Oh, I know them. The virgin and the jerk who walks on walls!"
Suddenly, the King of Evil smashed the Pokeball on the ground again as he shouted,
"Question Number TWO!"
"What famous musical figures do you look up to?!"
"Hmm. All of them. Or maybe none of them. I'm not really sure. I'm not exactly human, you know."
Ganondorf sat deep in thought.
"What about non-human figures? Or maybe even your family?"
"Unless you consider a star a 'family', I don't have one. Or any non-human figures. Such is life."
Ganondorf nodded. "Yeah, respecting a star IS pretty retarded."
The King of Evil claimed yet another Pokeball, simply dropping it on the ground before asking Carmen,
"If you can turn into anything in your life, what would it be?"
The audience simply stared at Carmen like little worker bees.
Carmen considered the next question carefully. She was pretty happy with what she was, having a human form and a bird form and all. But, after pondering a bit, she had an answer.
"The most fashionable being in the universe. ...Obviously."
Ganondorf nodded in agreement. "Being a fashionable King of Evil, I get where you're going at."
The Gerudo King thought in contemplation for a while. He then asked, without summoning any Pokeballs,
"How important is your musical instrument to you?"
Carmen actually grinned a little at the 'Dorf's response. The next question seemed like a question you might find in a normal interview and not one being conducted by the King of Evil with a very interesting invisible audience. "Extremely," she responded. "It completes me."
Ganondorf snapped his fingers, suddenly summoning several chains. They slowly wrapped themselves around the sofa, as well as Carmen.
"It completes you?" He asked, as if he were curious as to where this was going. "I have a question, though."
The King of Evil closed his eyes, using his magic... to take out the mentioned trumpet via telekinesis.
"Will it blend?"
Carmen assumed that something less...scrupulous would occur during this interview. And, of course, it did, and her trumpet was snatched from her. She sat up, eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid it's indestructable, so...no. Whatever that means," she replied, fully aware that she could summon it back to herself whenever she needed.
Ganondorf nodded. He presumed that the trumpet had some sort of connection with magic, but then again, magic was a touchy subject. Especially when a freaking elf could deflect your energy balls with a f--king empty bottle. Or if a Biggoron Sword could defeat the final boss.
The King of Evil took out what appeared to be a sword.
"Okay, then, folks! Let's try blending it-"
The King of Evil felt a strange sensation come behind Carmen's sofa. He simply stared at the sofa...
...only to find Link crawling out of it.
The Hero of Time cut the chains wrapped around the sofa, simply giving Ganondorf a kind look.
"...And that's all for the Ganonshaw, folks!" Ganondorf said, tossing aside his sword as he created an energy ball with tears forming in his eyes. "Remember to call (66) 666-6666-666 for a free Ganon doll! See you later for more episooOOAAHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Ganondorf proceeded to play a game of energy tennis with Link. A door for Carmen to leave was left open, and a Stalfos asked as the audience began to disperse, "I REALLY REALLY WANNA KNOW WHO THIS 'CALEB' IS!!!"
Carmen somehow expected Link to show up and save the day, because she also instantly knew about the entire Legend of Zelda lore because reasons and the fourth wall. Thankful that Ganondorf didn't have to attempt and fail at destroying her trumpet, she summoned the trumpet back to her hand and turned to walk out, but not before standing around to watch the game of energy tennis. Satisfied, she turned and killed the Stalfos on her way out.
Episode Four: Battle with Carmen Calandra
Ganondorf sat on his throne. But this time, his audience was not inside the throne room, but rather, somewhere they could spectate him. What would they spectate him for, however?
The King of Evil had no interviews in mind. For there was someone he genuinely wanted to battle for once. A battle of glory! And honor. He seeked vengeance against the humiliation he faced when Link saved a particular trumpet girl from unleashing unnecessary wrath.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Ganondorf said with an evil smile like the evil b-tch he was, "I proudly present to you, in this episode of Ganonshaw... a battle of pride!"
The Gerudo King stood up, looking at the Etherpad screen with that wide smirk of his. "I have always wanted to provide my audience with... fresh, innovative things. That's why I keep changing the way I asked my questions. But interviews alone would never satisfy my need to hold these shows. For today, a battle of wits shall begin once and for all!"
Ganondorf continued, "And today's contestant shall be..."
One of the Stalfos asked the audience in the hidden room, "I swear to GOD, who the F--K is 'CALEB'?!!"
The Stalfos was suddenly blipped into existence in the throne room.
Ganondorf grinned, locking the entrance door with the snap of his fingers. He simply stood for a while, waiting.....
....then he remembered something. The King of Evil hastily set up a big-a-s piano as he began to play it, making him look like he was a bad-a-s playing the piano for two whole minutes all along. He played his classic Ocarina of Time theme.
Carmen suddenly blipped into existence. She knew when she was needed. Quickly identifying the Stalfos in question, she pulled out a Fuel Rod Cannon from her nonexistent pocket and delivered swift justice, satisfied with her kill.
Ganondorf barely turned his head, grinning in front of the conveniently positioned camera in front of him. As the Stalfos turned into blue fire, the King of Evil spoke to her,
"I have been expecting you."
The King of Evil darkly continued to play his own theme, continuing,
"You wield power. I wield power. But in this universe, we hold powers that cannot remain together..."
Ganondorf grinned evilly as he stopped playing his theme. With a magnificent cape twirl, the Gerudo King confidently said to her,
"These toys are too much for you!"
After the statement, Ganondorf raised one of his fists, a Triforce of Power forming on his hand as he demanded,
"I command you to return them to me!"
Carmen's eyes narrowed.
The King of Evil's intentions were abundantly clear, but his motives for using the Halo weapons she used to humorously kill Stalfos were curious to her.
Looking directly into Ganondorf's eyes without moving from her position, she responded.
"I see two problems with that," she stated blankly.
"Firstly, these weapons belong to neither of us. They belong to the almighty Bungie, and more recently, 343 Industries. And secondly..."
She paused for dramatic effect, and to flip her hair back dramatically. No battle sequence was complete without it.
"What authority do you have over me?"
Ganondorf slowly began to float in the air, a blade with a large tip forming in his hands. With a grin present on his face, he confidently told Carmen,
"This is not just a game, old rival of mine. This is my path in expanding my rule... No more games shall survive to see the day!"
Gathering a massive amount of energy, Ganondorf created a powerful ball of dark energy, shouting with a bigger presence than before,
"I am the authority! And my Triforce shall seal your fate!"
"Well this is annoying."
Standing in front of the massive opponent, she would not be rushed.
I could use my trumpet right now, but I have a few shots left in these old guns, she thought, referring to the Fuel Rod Cannon in her hands and the rocket launcher still where she left it from the last time she killed a Stalfos. Might as well use them. She didn't expect them to be particularly effective against the King of Evil, but it could at least be annoying. And when you have a gun whose deadly explosive rounds bounce (obligatory RvB reference: "It bounces? Who makes a gun that bounces? This is the worst gun ever. Of all time."), annoying is easily obtainable.
And with that, she began firing. She fired as she ran-strafed sideways, launching all of the Type-33's 5-round magazine at once. With that, she was down to just one clip.
The King of Evil stopped charging the ball of energy when he saw the Fuel Rod Cannon fire five rounds at him. Ganondorf instinctively used his cape to deflect three of them at once, though, he had to move sideways in order to dodge another one. After tilting his head to avoid the last round, the Gerudo King frowned at Carmen.
Ganondorf suddenly began to charge a dark ball of energy- faster than before- before tossing it at Carmen. The lights had dimmed during this attack, and Ganondorf remained waiting with his blade in hand.
Predictably, the rounds did nothing or were dodged. As the King of Evil charged and tossed a dark energy ball, Carmen mentally said alright, get real with yourself, Carmen, and in one fluid motion dropped the Fuel Rod Cannon, rolled out of the way of the dark energy ball (it was fortunate that at this battle she was not wearing her sun hat, or else it would have been blemished during this maneuver.), and pulled her trumpet out from its sling on her back.
She had to be careful to use the Inception Button as a last resort, because it sort of rendered her useless for a long time. Not handy in a battle.
So, she began relatively simply. Placing her trumpet on the ground vertically with the bell pointing directly downwards, she blew a hard blast into it which sent out a wave of seismic disturbance - a Thumper. Like a ripple from a stone being skipped in a river, the ground heaved up in a solid wave in all directions. Not a high wave, just a ripple. With that said and done, both as an act of attempted intimidation and an initial charge up for the rest of her abilities, she picked up her trumpet and, with three short blasts, lobbed three sonic concussion grenades at the King of Evil.
The ball of dark energy was sent back to Ganondorf thanks to the hefty attacks, but three sound projectiles were sent toward him. The King of Evil, however, had plans to fully initiate the Dead Man's Volley against Carmen. With that said, Ganondorf suddenly lifted his blade up in the air.
Using the large tip of his blade to his advantage, Ganondorf caught the dark energy ball with the blade, dragging it with him as he floated sideways. He then did a three-hundred sixty degree turn, gathering strength, before tossing the ball at Carmen once more. At this moment, the Dead Man's Volley was fully activated.
Carmen beheld the dark energy ball coming at her once more. If she just avoided it again, it would just continue the cycle, so she decided instead to reflect it with an Inception Kick directed at it, since she was unsure exactly what it would take. With the initial Thumper release, her charge times were decreased, and she was able to fully charge the Inception Kick (complete with requisite kick music) before the ball reached her, sending the violent short blast through her trumpet directly at the incoming ball.
Ganondorf expected the ball to be reflected, though he had never faced an opponent who would use sound manipulation to do so. The King of Evil saw the ball deflect and, with a swift strike of the sword, smashed the ball back to Carmen. It had picked up a little more speed. He would start to use stronger strikes...
The ball came right back to her, and she had a mind not to use all of her stamina just deflecting this ball from her, so after observing the King of Evil hit it back with his sword, faught fire with fire and batted the ball back where it came from by swinging at it like a baseball bat with her trumpet. As soon as she did so, she began playing a Mosquito Tone at high amplitude to see if it had any lasting effect. At this point she was concerned mostly about finding out if any of her abilities affected him at all, and not necessarily avoiding getting killed.
The King of Evil smirked, raising his sword to deflect the ball with a swift strike.
He, unfortunately, did not expect another ability to come right into his face. Unable to deflect the attack or cover himself from it, Ganondorf clutched his head in pain, confused as to why the tone Carmen just played drove him crazy so much.
The ball of dark energy hit him square in the chest, causing Ganondorf to emit a brilliant light. The King of Evil fell on the floor, his blade smashed into the ground, as he attempted to recover as quickly as possible. He would not be able to fight in the air anymore.
Carmen almost smiled as her mosquito strategy worked. As soon as the ball of energy hit the King of Evil, she lunged towards him, hoping to attack him closer - but not too close. Just not on the other end of the throne room. As soon as he hit the floor, she activated a second Thumper, focusing the energy towards a single wave headed towards where the King of Evil was getting up.
Ganondorf just pulled his sword out of the ground when he was suddenly swung toward in the air. He grit his teeth, kicking himself away from the ceiling, heading straight for the ground.
It was time for him to face her directly.
The Gerudo King landed on the ground with intense impact, causing the ground to move like a shockwave in a similar fashion Carmen did- the only difference was that his landing was not exactly meant to hurt anything. The King of Evil clutched his blade, energy crackling around his arm, as he began to walk toward the Skylark.
Carmen had had another successful attack, but was almost downed by the exact same thing caused by Ganondorf's landing. Leaping over the shockwave, she landed. At this point she deduced that Ganondorf's blade was Bad News, and elected to stay out of its range as long as possible. Taking up a playing position, she began playing a constant, high amplitude (but not frequency) note whose intensity was great enough that, in addition to being really loud, manifested itself in the form of a translucent sound beam headed directly for Ganondorf. With luck, it would slow him down and perhaps even cause some damage.
The King of Evil used an extremely quick moment to analyze what was going on.
First things first, he could tell that the trumpet girl favored long-ranged attacks. She had immediately begun pulling off a ranged attack with her trumpet, which seemed like it would do a hefty amount of damage if he was hit.
The problem was that his position, right at the moment, would prevent him from getting hit.
When the sound beam came to him at a straightforward manner, the King of Evil blocked the sound beam. Both of his hands supported his blade, which consistently defended Ganondorf from the beam. The King of Evil stood loosely, allowing himself to be pushed to a wall.
Right before he crashed into it, however, the King of Evil suddenly leapt out of the beam's range, placing his feet on the very wall he was about to crash in. Grinning with his signature "evil grin," the King of Evil propelled himself toward Carmen, reaching out in an attempt to grab her. If he failed, he would simply rush toward her before swinging his sword at her.
Carmen was now in danger of close quarters combat. Worse, the King of Evil was straight up lunging at her. However, Carmen did not flinch from her position. As the Gerudo King began his lunge, she spoke, in the middle of combat, "You forget what I am," and morphed into her gaseous bird form, rendering herself defenseless and offensiveless, but also intangible. If he passed through her, she would rematerialize in human form on the other side.
The King of Evil did what he would do. He lunged out, only to miss, and he swung his sword the instant moment he did miss. Unfortunately, he was not experienced with facing shapeshifters that well. Sure, he fared well against those who mainly relied on shapeshifting if that was all they did, but those who just sort of had that ability for some random reason tended to take him aback. Ganondorf turned around, finding the bird rematerialize into Carmen.
"Interesting," he said.
If that's the case...
Ganondorf gathered strength to his arms... before throwing his blade at Carmen with a dangerously fast speed. Immediately after he did so, the King of Evil slightly floated in the air, gathering massive amounts of energy. Light from the windows faded to black as they all turned into many orbs of combined energy. Ganondorf swung his hands together to release the attack, yelling, "You're FINISHED!"
Carmen successfully avoided the blade, rolling and morphing simultaneously. And narrowly.
However, she did not successfully avoid the dark energy, for it is impossible to avoid something that attacks from all sides. Falling to the ground and unable to shift forms, she struggled to remain conscious and out of mental darkness. She did not scream, however; she had hope. A hope that, in the midst of being enveloped in evil, a certain ability would ensure her survival.
After a long and arduous time attempting to summon the necessary energy, she placed her trumpet on the ground with the bell pointing into it again, actually climbing it to reach the mouthpiece, and activated her last resort.
The Inception Button.
Suddenly the dark energy was violently expunged in all directions back to whence it came. The windows that it came from shattered, and the dark energy that was once there was replaced with an unrelenting sound of epic proportions - volume, amplitude, and of course, lowness. It was truly a last ditch attempt as the building was sort of collapsing as well.
Ganondorf knew he was going to win, but when he had been proven wrong, he resorted to screaming in pain.
The instant moment he had sent all of the dark energy toward Carmen, she suddenly utilized an extremely loud, painful noise. Not only did it have high volume, but the force it left behind also devastated the castle. The roof had been blown off due to Ganondorf's dark energy being smashed away from Carmen, and the some parts of the battlefield's floor had collapsed as well. The King of Evil clutched his head tightly, attempting to fight back the sound.
The sound eventually faded, and soon, all that was left was the King of Evil and Carmen. Ganondorf's hands were still against his ears.
The Gerudo King loosely let go of his ears.
Fell to his knees
and fell on the floor.
The King of Evil had been defeated.
A cute little "Victory!" sign hung above Carmen's head, and a door appeared from thin air. The door seemed to shine brightly, and stood where the entrance door once stood. The audience was cheering, satisfied with the great fight they had just witnessed, though they wondered how the f--k they would rebuild the castle.
Carmen Calandra was the victor.
Carmen was sprawled out on the ground quite unceremoniously, as the final move had taken all of her fighting energy. She watched the Gerudo King let go of his ears, and for a brief instant thought that all was lost, but then he fell.
Even in her zapped state, her one eyebrow still raised at the odd floating victory sign.
She slowly got up, dwelling over what she had just accomplished. Surveying the ruined castle, the defeated Ganondorf and the now present audience, Carmen slowly limped herself away, dragging her trumpet. As she reached the exit door, she stopped, and made one final remark.
"That was annoying."
And walked through the door.
Episode Five: Battle with Apophis
Ganondorf mulled over his blade's power, giving it a deep look as he sat on his throne. Recently, he had been defeated by the trumpet girl, Carmen Calandra. She had taken good advantages over her ability to suddenly pull off combinations of attacks. He had been bested by such a kid.
Then again, Link kicked his a-s over ten thousand times now.
The King of Evil raised an eyebrow when he heard the entrance door suddenly burst open. He looked up, finding an unfamiliar figure.
No, he was actually familiar with him. He had interviewed him before, after all: he had yet to release the episode, unfortunately. With that said, Ganondorf stood up from his throne, an evil grin on his face.
"So, you've come... again."
Apophis- "He Who Wore Flesh"- stood with a proud, crooked stance, his eyes glowing maniacally. His teeth were painted with coats of red, and the upperleft side of his head had been blown off... long ago. A halberd lay snugly within his cold, dead hand, its blade yearning to kill God himself. Deathly energy drooled out of the deity of Chaos.
Ganondorf growled cockily,
The demonic being laughed. And laughed. Laughed. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."
Apophis grinned madly. "And I you, Ganondorf. Today, you'll become a part of me."
The King of Evil laughed as if Apophis were dumber than a duck. "HA! The King of Evil discourages your sexual innuendo!"
It's not sexual innuendo.
Ganondorf bowed at the Etherpad screen briefly before turning to Apophis.
"I think," Ganondorf said, taking out his blade, "you have a power that should seize to exist."
Apophis grinned. His mouth tore a little.
The Deity of Chaos bluntly growled as he took out a chainsaw from his chest,
"YOU BELONG TO ME."
Two demented, black arms shot out of Apophis' back, both of them wielding demonic longswords. Ganondorf grinned, simply muttering to himself, "Creepy f--ker," before dashing directly toward the skin-wearing man.
Apophis dashed towards Ganondorf as well. He was far faster than the King of Evil.
Using all four of his weapons to smash aside Ganondorf's weapon, Apophis madly revved his chainsaw before vertically sending it down at the King of Evil. Ganondorf barely took a step back, letting the saw graze through his pimped out necklace.
"You did not just cut my pimped out necklace."
Apophis swung his longswords at Ganondorf's head while attempting to stab the King of Evil with his chainsaw and halberd. The Gerudo King, however, despised prolonged assaults. With a swipe of his hand, the King of Evil smashed aside the longswords before grabbing the chainsaw with his hand. The Deity of Chaos frowned when he realized Ganondorf's hand was not bleeding. At all.
The King of Evil crushed the enchanted saw, causing Apophis to reel back in confusion.
"Fine, then," the Deity of Chaos muttered. "How about we take it to the skies?"
Ganondorf raised an eyebrow when Apophis suddenly stabbed his eyes, letting his blood spill over the ground. He laughed so joyfully, much to the King of Evil's confusion.
Ganondorf's eyes widened when he realized that something about the blood was wrong. He was too late to react, however.
The blood suddenly fired a beam of magma at the King of Evil, pushing the king out of his own castle. He flew out of the castle, gritting his teeth as he attempted to mitigate the damage he was receiving. The Gerudo King barely pushed himself out of the magma beam, floating in the air with his blade in hand.
Apophis laughed happily as he flew straight toward Ganondorf, chanting a spell.
Suddenly, the skies shot out twelve meteors that were apparently summoned by the Deity of Chaos.
"You're f--king kidding, right?" Ganondorf muttered to himself, staring at the meteors falling from the skies. The King of Evil rolled his eyes when one of them smashed the roof of his castle. Preparing his blade again, the Gerudo King charged at Apophis, flying straight towards him as well.
The two engaged in close combat, though Apophis was only using his halberd this time. The King of Evil attempted to decapitate the Deity of Chaos, though Apophis managed to push himself away, firing a thin beam of foreign energy at Ganondorf. The King of Evil forcefully caught the beam in his hand, throwing his blade at Apophis with the other.
The skin-wearing deity's torso was slashed at, but Apophis refused to stop moving. He instantly smashed his fist against Ganondorf's face before stabbing the King of Evil with his halberd. He then swung the Gerudo around over and over and over before punching the king off of his weapon. Apophis quickly followed Ganondorf, kicking the King of Evil with both of his feet.
As the two fell, however, Ganondorf grinned, gathering dark energy from all of his surroundings.
"Taste some REAL dark magic, fool!"
Apophis, who did not suspect Ganondorf's sudden overdrive to pop out, was caught by surprise. The King of Evil had suddenly lunged out, clutching Apophis' head with the force that could destroy a mountain in one second. Dark energy continued to flow into the Deity of Chaos' head and Ganondorf's hands. After several more seconds, the Gerudo roared, the taste of victory apparently being near.
Ganondorf fired an extremely large mixture of the orbs he had gathered, sending Apophis out of Hylia. However, the Deity of Chaos had always been clever.
For in this universe, he had already killed Thane.
"GET OVER HERE!" The Deity of Chaos screamed, throwing a spear directly into Ganondorf's chest. The King of Evil was dragged out of Hylia as well, and the spear had been well-placed on his chest.
Not enough to kill him, he supposed.
High above the clouds, Ganondorf fired a ball of dark energy before forcefully taking out the spear on his chest. He then pulled it tightly, much to Apophis' confusion.
Unfortunately, Apophis had one great weakness. That was his weakness in being able to adapt.
For he had not thought about Ganondorf actually pulling him towards himself. Apophis, who attempted to get the spear's connecting device off of his arm, was suddenly dragged toward the King of Evil. He, however, had his own backup spells.
Apophis roared, his eyes glowing a deathly red,
Suddenly, the Deity of Chaos violently ripped his mouth open, letting his jaw fall off in the air. A large beam of deathly light flew straight toward Ganondorf. The King of Evil swiftly avoided the beam of death, knowing that it could kill nearly anyone instantly, before propelling himself toward Apophis once more.
"You blew up my damn castle!" Ganondorf roared, pulling the spear once more as he roared again, "Even if it IS made of N64 graphics, you know how much that f--king costs?!"
The Deity of Chaos laughed, simply waving a finger at the King of Evil, before he snapped his fingers. Apophis whispered under his breath,
"Execute the Virgin Children."
Ganondorf's neck was suddenly wrapped around with chains made of magma. Apparently, Apophis had turned his freaking finger into chains of burning fire. The King of Evil, however, used the same trick he used for the spear. He pulled Apophis down with him, getting closer and closer to the Deity of Chaos.
And finally, he got close enough. The two drew their weapons out. Ganondorf shouted,
With Apophis finishing the statement,
"... or draw your sword."
The two clashed blades, dark energy alike clashing against each other. Two forces of evil collided directly against each other as they fell directly toward Ganon's Castle. The two of them screamed at each other, their hands bleeding from simply holding their weapons, before landing straight into the castle. A large puff of smoke appeared from the roof... then through the center of the castle's windows... before the entire castle came crashing down.
As soon as the castle had crashed down, Apophis stood, exhausted an unused to his relatively new powers. He laughed quietly, happy to find that he was carrying Ganondorf's sword in his hands...
He did it. He had defeated the King of Evil.
The Deity of Chaos stood amidst the pillars around him, which was all that was left of Ganon's presence. He chuckled, and laughed. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.
...Someone burst out of the debris.
Apophis looked up, his victory quickly subsiding. He had a look of disbelief on his face, as if he wondered just why the man was still alive. But there was one thing he had forgotten about Ganondorf. One thing this man had that could never be taken away from his evil soul.
The floating Ganondorf took deep breaths, victoriously lifting a fist. The Triforce of Power shone brightly, blinding Apophis from his short-lived victory.
The King of Evil scrunched his body up...
...before launching himself straight towards Apophis.
Right when he was next to the Deity of Chaos, the King of Evil snatched his own blade away, twisting his body violently.
Ganondorf, the King of Evil,
cut off the head of Apophis.
The Deity of Chaos' body staggered, as if attempting to try seeing again. As soon as Ganondorf landed on the ground, skidding to a halt, he rushed back toward the skin-wearing man. He stabbed his own hand into Apophis' chest, lifting the heavy body up in the air as he roared victoriously. A massive amount of dark energy formed, creating conflicting reactions from the deity's body.
A second later, Apophis' body blew into bits, and all that was left was the laughing head of Apophis on the ground.
Ganondorf took several deep breaths... before relaxing his body. He had but one thing to say now...
The King of Evil fell on his knees as he screamed,
"DAMMIT, MY CASTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Episode Six: Battle with Margaret Clementine
Welcome to the Ganonsh- FIGHT.
Ganondorf blinked, staring at the Etherpad screen with a Gamecube controller in his hands.
"...Waitwaitwaitwait," the King of Evil said, "I'm kicking a-s in Smash Bros., don't you dare interrupt the King of Evil's-"
Margaret blipped into existence.
Ganondorf looked around the castle before looking down at the kneeling girl before him. She was looking up at him.
He took out his sword as he grinned evilly, proclaiming, "You impudent little girl, do you know who I am? I'm a dude who just kicked some dude's a-s when he should've had his a-s kicked like... twenty seasons later in Athalia Academy RP, you know? I'm going to kill you so much you're going to wonder why you even-"
Margaret had crawled up to the King of Evil.
"...What're you- hey- what the f-"
She began to rub his red hair.
"No- stop it- impudent little sh- can't you- can't you just-"
Ganondorf roared, sending Margaret flying off of him, "STAHP IT!!!"
"...Okay. Time to kill y-"
Margaret rubbed his beard.
While Margaret did, indeed, win the battle, Ganondorf called the cops because she "sexually assaulted his beard."
Episode Seven: Battle with Mike Undine
Here we go...
A Stalfos with sunglasses jumped up to the Etherpad screen's face, emphasizing his "bling-bling" necklace that had a golden dollar sign on it.
"Now welcome to the Ganonshaw- welcome back to the club! We be going to see the fight of your life, so you all sit tight and just shut up!"
An Iron Knuckle shot the Stalfos from some random window using a Pump Action Shotgun. Why he did not use his axe remained a mystery to be unsolved.
Ganondorf himself sat still on his throne, sitting... pondering about his next opponent. Runes. Runes held power- power that could be found within one's hands in a literal way. He had always seen Hylian fools squander those to attack his ReDeads, who simply revived to make the mages' efforts fall in vain. Today, however, he fought one who was not like those so-called "mages." Confident his next opponent would be. Worthy he could be.
The King of Evil snapped his fingers, letting the door to his throne room open. He stood up, walking over to play his classic organ, playing his Ocarina of Time theme song. It would take the "Author of Runes" just one more minute to get here...
Smoke filled the stage with a sparkles of light snapping around. As the smoke faded away, it showed Mike sitting on a comfortable armchair. He shuffled the cards in his hands as he looked around.
"Nice place you got here, whoever you are." he said lazily.
Ganondorf grinned. He nodded welcomingly, appreciating the newcomer's comfort with his place.
"Welcome to my castle," the Gerudo King said. "It's an honor to come here without having to face my loyal minions, unlike the Hero of Time has."
He continued to play his organ, nearly at the end of playing his theme.
"Magic... a power one can wield from their innate magic source, or draw out from grand utilities. I myself have... both of them."
The King of Evil smiled, glancing at the mark of the Triforce on his hand.
Mike didn't say anything, he just watched Ganondorf without showing any emotion, still shuffling through his cards.
Ganondorf smiled, continuing to play his organ for a little.
Before he stopped.
"Hm hm hm..."
The King of Evil laughed, a smirk appearing on his face as he told Mike Undine with his back turned to the Rune Writer,
"These toys are too much for you!"
His cape floated through the air as Ganondorf finally turned to Mike with a calm, but plentifully evil smile. As he faced the Rune Writer, the King of Evil concluded,
"I command you to return them to me!"
The King of Evil's organ and throne vanished, leaving only Ganondorf to stand in the square, condensed battleground. The Gerudo King took out his blade, beginning to float in the air as he began to charge a dark ball of energy with his free hand.
Mike raised his eyebrows, but sat down for a while longer. "You mean these?" he asked, holding up the deck of cards. "If so, you are sorely mistaken. These aren't toys, my friend." With that, he stood up from the chair and pulled three cards from the deck. He held them in such a way, however, that Ganondorf couldn't see them. "I don't think you want to pick a fight with me, buddy."
The King of Evil had fought Link before, and recently, Carmen Calandra. He immediately got the gist that his opponents would obviously be preparing something if they stood still. Ganondorf, however, did not care. The King of Evil threw the ball of dark energy toward Mike Undine, prepared to see what the boy in front of him had in mind.
Mike immediatly shot up the cards (Light, Slice, and Revert) and sliced the ball of magic in half. Except he actually had six cards, one behind each of the others, he shot the first three back into the deck and held up the other three (Ice, Seperate, and Jet). "Ice Splinter!" he shouted. A massive icicle shot out, then splintered into many, MANY tiny ones which rained down on Ganodorf at heigh speeds.
The King of Evil raised an eyebrow, questioning if Mike really intended to hurt him like this. After all, when Link fired an ice arrow at him before, Ganondorf simply proved to the Hero of Time that he had been wasting his own magic. Ganondorf huffed, lowering his blade.
The King of Evil used his cape to simply deflect every single ice shard through the left side of the throne room's windows. Every single one of the windows shattered, crumbling down into the bottom of Ganon's Castle. The Gerudo King frowned, snapping his fingers.
Out of the right side of the throne room, two Stalfos crashed into the room, tumbling in with their shields ready. Ganondorf raised his hands, gathering dark energy around him. Orbs of dark energy went through the open windows, as the King of Evil gathered the powerful energy, letting the Stalfos directly charge toward Mike.
He then smashed his hands together, causing the dark orbs of energy to crash in nearly every single direction.
Mike smiled, shuffled through his cards so fast it was a blur, pulling out various cards. "Reflection Shield!" he shouted, using four of the cards (Reflect, Sphere, Sheild, and Aim). The dark orbs bounced off his bubble sheild and shot towards Ganondorf and his two grunts. Mike then held up his other three cards (Bless, Self, and Speed). "Running Feet!" he shouted, then shot around the room, shuffling his cards to find some more cards he needed.
The King of Evil instantly deflected the orbs that had been reflected, sending them straight out of the broken windows of the left side of the battleground. He then charged up yet another dark ball of energy, throwing it directly toward Mike again.
Meanwhile, the two Stalfos had raised their shields up, for they had not left themselves open. The two remained standing for two seconds after Mike had reflected the orbs... before carefully moving toward the Rune Writer again. One of them leapt towards him with his blade being vertically swung down, though his shield was now down. This Stalfos had timed the attack to make sure he would generally attack where Mike would eventually come to... though he was wide open.
Ganondorf himself floated even higher in the air.
Mike saw the Stalfos and the dark orb shooting towards him. Thinking he could dodge them both without using any cards, he stopped and hit the deck. Except he continued to slide. The ball of dark energy shot RIGHT over him, and the blade landed where he would have been in a few seconds. Instead, the blade hit the ground and Mike slid into it, bumping his head. Mike quickly got to his feet, but didn't have time to attack the Stalfos while it was open. Mike held up the cards he had taken out of the deck of cards while he ran around the room. "Darkness Repent!" he shouted, holding out four cards (Light, Bolt, Penetrate, and Crush). A beam of bright light shot towards the Stalfos right in front of him, but didn't stick around for the results. He shot off around the room again.
The Stalfos blew up, turning into blue fire, vanishing into thin air. Indifferent with his comrade's fall (he's gonna respawn in the audience, anyway), the remaining Stalfos raised his shield up, letting out a simple, deep chuckle. Ganondorf himself frowned at what was happening so far.
This dude doesn't seem to realize I tried to initiate Dead Man's Volley two times by now. This'll take forever if I just keep trying to initiate it.
The King of Evil sighed, floating down to the ground. His feet landed with a thud, his eyes closed in deep thought. After thinking about what to do, the Gerudo King's eyes opened. With his blade in hand, he began to walk to the center of the room, completely ignoring Mike and the alarmed Stalfos.
Mike glanced over to see Ganondorf with his eyes closed, just standing there. Suspecting a trap, Mike instead aimed for the other Stalfos. He rushed towards the other Stalfos, aiming straight for him. However, just before he was within range of it's sword, he shot to the right and held up the four cards he just used. "Darkness Repent!" he shouted, shooting the beam of light to the Stalfos right next to him. He then shot around the room and stopped, facing the king. He shuffled all his cards back into the deck, and just watched.
The Stalfos blew up from the sudden attack, turning into blue fire.
The King of Evil smashed the ground with his blade, causing many parts of the floor to crumble into an abyss. Only the sides at the walls and the center of the battlefield remained standing,
Mike looked at the gap seperating him from Ganondorf, than back at Ganondorf. He stared at him, just shuffling through his cards. "It's all you." he said quietly.
The King of Evil floated yet again, charging up another ball of dark energy before throwing it towards Mike yet again.
Mike shot three cards (Disk, Reflect, and Sheild) out of his deck and held them out. "Reflecter Sheild!" Mike shouted. A clear disk appeared in front of him, and the dark energy bounced off towards Ganondorf. Mike followed up the attack by pulling out five cards (Fire, Sphere, Explosion, Sight, and Enemy) "Seeker Flame!" he shouted. A ball of fire shot out and swung around the room, heading towards Ganondorf's back while the dark orb shot towards his front.
Ganondorf raised an eyebrow. "Oh? An attack from all sides? Well, the last time Link did that..."
The King of Evil suddenly vanished, an evil grin spread across his face as he appeared farther from Mike, facing toward the Rune Writer.
"You shouldn't do that so often, boy."
Mike's attacks were still flying, and so was Ganondorf's dark energy ball.
The fireball immediatly turned and shot towards Ganondorf's new position, while the energy orb flies out a window. Mike shuffles through his dards again and pulls out three more cards (Attack, Buff, and Speed). "Attack Speed Upgrade!" Mike shouted, but nothing happened. "Attack Speed Upgrade!" he shouted again, but with the same result. He looked down at his cards to see that the Speed rune had faded away. "Dag NABBIT!" he shouted angrily, and threw the card over his shoulder.
The King of Evil laughed as he propelled himself toward Mike, generating an orb of dark energy within his hand. Should he succeed, he would punch the Rune Writer down to one of the platforms. Should he fail, he would simply head straight to the center of the battleground and use his energy for a shockwave attack.
The fireball followed the king, and was getting very close. Any second now it would hit him and explode. Mike shuffled through the deck quickly, but not quick enough. Ganondorf slammed into Mike, shooting him off the side, and onto one of the platforms below. He ducked down and pulled out the cards he needed (Attack, Sphere, Magic, Sheild). "Projectile Sheild!" he shouted, and a magic sheild surrounded the fireball completely. Only a few more seconds...
The King of Evil dusted his cape, raising an eyebrow at the projectile shield being placed over a fireball he had not noticed. Interestingly enough, it had powers even a King of Evil could not replicate for some odd reason.
Who cared about guided missiles, anyway.
Ganondorf simply wrapped his body around with his cape, simply letting the fireball hit him. His cloak on fire, he tossed it aside, revealing... his cape.
Unfortunately, the roof did not handle the explosion very well. Incinerated and obliterated, the walls and the ceiling had been blown off. Ganondorf absolutely hated the bills he had been forced to pay these days.
How many capes he had remained a mystery, but that was probably to make him stay competitive as a final boss from the Legend of Zelda.
"Can you just... stop moving around and play tennis with me?" Ganondorf asked, exhausted with how long the battle had been prolonged. The King of Evil charged yet another dark ball of energy before throwing it at Mike.
"Oh, really? You just teleported me here from who-knows-where just to play tennis with you?" Mike asked, raising an eyebrow. He personally always saw tennis as a sissy sport. "If you're going to take the time and effort to bring me across dimensions, how about we play a game worth playing?"
Ganondorf simply gave a "wtf" stare at what just happened before charging up yet another ball of dark energy, immediately throwing it toward Mike. Now he was getting his original moves back to normal!
What Ganondorf didn't know was that Mike had been holding out a couple of cards (Element, Replace, and Smoke). The shadow orb hit Mike and exploded into a smoke screen. Mike then switched his hand around and used his other cards (Reflect, Disk, Power). "Magic Paddle!" Mike shouted, launching himself out of the smoke with a magic disk in front of him, just as the king made another dark orb. Mike slammed into the dark orb, smashing it into Ganondorf's face. Mike dropped to the ground. He had now figured out how to beat this guy. He rolled as he hit the ground, and jumped behind some debris to get time to choose some more cards.
The King of Evil raised an eyebrow when Mike suddenly smashed the dark orb into his face.
"Uh, isn't the god-moddi-"
I DON'T GIVE A F-CK.
Ganondorf roared as he got hit by the orb of dark energy, shining brilliantly as he fell slowly. He landed with his blade chucked into the ground, though he barely managed to take his blade out of the ground. The King of Evil stood up, severely annoyed at how a shadow orb was shoved into his own face. How the hell were the students so fast, anyway? They would probably outrun nearly all of the teachers at this rate.
Because, you know, Ganondorf raced the teachers before.
The King of Evil hastily took out his Nintendo DS, punching in random buttons on the touchpad before tossing it aside.
He suddenly got an armcannon from Metroid Prime Hunters. The King of Evil cheaply began to fire a bunch of laser bullets at where Mike had gone to out of what appeared to be Samus' pixelated armcannon. He hoped to destroy all of the debris before performing one final Dead Man's Volley to finish the battle.
Just as the king began attacking, Mike hopped over the debris with a card ready (Slash). He swiped it across, expecting to hit a ball of plasma, but instead, hit one of many laser bullets. The rest hit him all across the body, knocking him to the ground. The boy groaned, then got to his feet. He shuffled through his cards and pulled out a few (Self, and Mend). He used the cards on himself, and though it healed him a bit, he was still in pain.
The King of Evil charged yet another ball of dark energy, intent on going all-out with his intentions on having a tennis match... of lethality... with the Rune Writer.
"Let's finish this!" The Gerudo King roared, looking at his watch. "I need to go to the supermarket today! Twenty percent sales off they say! Now DIE, I SAY!"
Ganondorf threw the ball of dark energy from afar. Plenty of distance for Mike to see.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Mike said as he jumped out of the way of the plasma. "There's a sale? Then what are we doing here? I have some stuff I wanna buy. We can continue this battle later."
The King of Evil paused.
"Of course! I heard that the Yu-Gi-O cards there are REALLY good there." Mike said, putting his cards in his pocket.
"Oh God, it's been so long since I've gotten to a store with GOOD Yu-Gi-Oh cards," Ganondorf said, a wide grin on his face. Putting his hands into his pockets(?), the King of Evil said, "Let's-a-go?"
Mike nodded. "Lead the way, whatever-your-name is."
"It's Ganondorf, you jerk," the King of Evil said, feeling disgruntled by the fact that there were people who still did not know his name. Still, he felt glad to know that SOMEONE knew where all those good cards were stored in. The King of Evil led the way out of his own castle, asking for directions on the way out.
Mike wins for making Ganondorf quit!
Episode Eight: Battle with Caleb "Crash" Waterfront and Katherine Argall
Ganondorf stood proud and tall in front of the Etherpad screen, pointing at you as he said,
"Welcome to the Ganonshaw, my brothers and sisters from other mothers. Today is yet another day where battle shall prevail over words..."
The King of Evil chuckled, walking back to his throne, taking a seat comfortably as he continued,
"But today... I shall not fight. For I'm having a freaking BACK problem after fighting three people in a row without taking much of a break. So today's contestant shall face... someone else. Two people, to be precise"
The Gerudo King motioned for you to sit down and relax with some food as he concluded his message,
"Now... enjoy the battle between someone very familiar versus... Katherine Argall! and Caleb 'Crash' Waterfront!!!"
A single tree stood still in the middle of a foggy pond. Two doors stood still within the pond, each of them standing at opposite sides from each other. Between them was the dead tree.
One of the doors opened up for the next contestant. As soon as she entered, the entrance door would close shut.
"..?" Confused Kathy looked around her as she was, yet again, brought into an unfamiliar environment without recollection of how she ended up there. "... I'm not going in there." Narrowing her eyes in suspicion at the place just beyond the doors, she looked around for the person responsible.
Crash dug his heels in refusing to budge through the door, the last time this had happened...he'd rather not go back there.
"Crash?" Eyes open wide with surprise, Kathy looked at the familiar person that had just arrived at the door to join her. "Wh-What are you doing here..?" For a moment she almost wondered if it was someone else, perhaps another shapeshifter or person with powers of mimicry that was pretending to be Crash, but she had a feeling it was really him. Which actually made the situation all the more confusing for her.
Carmen sat in the audience.
By this point she was almost a regular at Ganondorf's castle, and was able to freely pop in and watch battles and/or kill Stalfos. Today, she seemed to be only doing the former as there were no Stalfos yelling stupid things constantly (or once). This allowed her to keep a low profile, which was handy because reasons.
One of the Stalfos asked another, "Wait, didn't those two come out before?"
His buddy stared at him as if he were a miracle sent from the heavens. He then shouted at the ignorant Stalfos,
"UH, YEAH, WE TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THESE GUYS BEFORE, MMM HMMM, ALRIGHT, STFU."
An Iron Knuckle told the two to shut up.
Carmen instinctively reacted to the two Stalfos a couple of rows down from her. Unfortunately, they weren't yelling about Caleb, but it would have to do. Taking out her Gravity Hammer that she had stored in a nonexistent pixel pocket, she jumped in the air and smashed the hammer down on them, delivering swift Halo justice. "And that's how we do it in Grifball," she said, satisfied. Sitting back down, she noticed that she hadn't been noticed. "Excellent," she said to herself.
One of the Stalfos, whose head lied on the ground, simply muttered "F-ck" before disappearing.
Crash glanced at Kathy looking rather similiar to a deer stuck in headlights. "What are you doing here?" He asked, he wasn't nearly as suspicious about this in fact he was already feeling uncomfortable. Oh god...don't let it be another interview...please? He shifted closer to Kathy. "I'm not sure what's going on..." He lifted his hand to the back of his neck, raising an eyebrow at the room before them.
"Hmm... Guess that makes two of us then. I'm not sure what's going on either but..." Kathy frowned and gestured at the open door before them. "I'm almost certain I don't really want to go there."
"Snap..." Crash murmured. "...but what other choice do we have?" He pointed out gingerly taking a step into the room, reaching towards Kathy. "Don't stay there though, we'll get separated"
The pond was wide, and the ground level was nearly as high as the water. A small group of dirt lay directly at the center of the room, with a dead tree weakly standing crookedly. The skies were extremely bright- almost white- and the exit door was right across the room.
The entrance door slowly shook...
Letting out a sigh she muttered, "Guess so..." Following Crash, Kathy stepped inside as well and the entrance immediatley shut behind them with a loud thud. Wincing from the sound, she looked back at it for a moment. "The only way through is to keep going it seems." She pointed at the door on the other side of the room.
Around them she could see the strange audience around them that she, unfortunately, recognized to a certain extent. "I swear... If this is another weird interview I'm just going to run this time without answering any other questions."
"Well well, would you look at this," Carmen said quietly to herself, forming a small smile. "They even fight in Ganondorf's castle together huh? Inseparable." She sat in her place, waiting to see how this battle would unfold. It would be a nice treat to see even one of them fight, but both?! At the same time?!? This was like a gift...or something.
Crash flinched away from the doors it noisily shut behind them, he glanced at it as well. Oh good...here we go He peered around curiosly, looking in the direction Kathy pointed. "Lets go then" He decided moving further into the room, on the lookout for that red bearded looney tune that fancied himself as the new Oprah. "Wait...you were interviewed as well?" He questioned, unable to hide his surprise as his drifted to the audience waiting for that one skeletal thing to pipe...
Nothing in particular changed in the room. The tree seemed to remain at the same angle from their position(?), and the water beneath them splashed ever so softly. Only a transparent blue could be seen on the floor...
"Wait, 'as well'?" Kathy repeated, equally surprised. "Yeah... I found myself in a strange place with a sofa. There was a red-haired interviewer that kept hitting his throne and asked me some odd questions." Looking around she thought, ''Apparently that's not what's going on this time though. I don't see that sofa, or that interviewer from back then.' With the water splashing under their feet, she couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. 'I won't suddenly step in to find the floor gone, will I..?' Continuing to walk forward with Crash at her side, she suddenly noticed that the tree looked exactly the same as before despite the fact they were now looking at it from another angle. "Hey... Crash. Doesn't this place seem really starnge to you..? Aside from just the fact we were somehow brought in here without warning I mean."
"Yes..." Crash trailed off listening to her explanation. Shoopuf! Same guy, same stuff...he didn't...he wouldn't have Crash wasn't overly fazed by the water beneath them he did however look up at the tree noticing it had...moved. "...I think strange would be an understatement right now" Crash grumbled, shifting closer to Kathy. "Sooner we leave the better come on, lets go around the creepy blue light...and moving tree" He suggested, picking up his pace.
The tree was eventually crossed, which still looked like as if they just came from the entrance. The water was clear, and the exit door was still locked. The sound of the entrance door unlocking echoed through out the pond.
Kathy nodded in agreement, but couldn't help but turn around every so often to look at the tree as they walked past it. I don't feel comfortable keeping my back to that anymore... She thought with a shudder. Reaching the door, she tried pushing it. "Okay..." Then she tried pulling it too. "Apparently we're not going to be able to leave that easily." She sighed.
Crash grinded to a halt a little behind Kathy as she reached the Exit door, his ears pricked as he heard the Entrance door unlock. "The other side..." He sighed, looking at the audience. "Come on back this way...I don't trust this tree steer clear of it" Crash had become visibly tense by now.
"..." Kathy frowned. She had a small idea, but she wasn't entirely happy about it. "Crash, I'll stay here while you go to the other side." She looked at him in the eyes and explained, "At this rate I don't think we're going to get anywhere. If that locks again, we're just going to go around in in circles until we lose track of which one was the exit, and which one was the entrance. Let's try both doors at the same time then... If that's alright with you."
Crash fidgetted uneasily at her suggestion, he bit his lower lip. She had a very good point but he was clearly unsure about it. No it's not alright with me He nodded his head slowly despite his thought process. "Got it..." He murmured hesitating for a moment before jogging back towards the 'entrance'
The instant moment Crash approached the tree, Crash shot out of the tree.
Now, it was quite obvious that were two Crash's at this point, the only difference being that the one that just appeared was completely dark in color. Crash(?) swung a roundhouse kick directly toward the red-haired Crash's face. At this point, Crash's shadow had vanished from the ground. Kathy's remained intact...
Crash didn't see his shadow(?) shoot out of the tree, he wasn't aware of it until he felt a disturbance in the air next to him, he barely lifted an arm in time to protect his face, the force of the kick causing him to stumble sideways. He spun to face his adversary...W-what? Falling back into a defensive stance automatically he cast a glance towards Kathy before back at the shadow.
The shadow, who was quite transparent right at the moment, cockily waved a finger at Crash, motioning for the Shapeshifter to fight him. He was currently holding Crash's defensive stance perfectly. Giving the Shapeshifter little time to dilly-dally, the shadow immediately ran towards Crash until he was directly in front of him, simply holding the defensive stance as if to anger the shadow's owner.
Meanwhile, a new shadow slowly began to take form nearby the tree... and it resembled a far more slender figure than Crash's.
"Crash!" Kathy immediately yelled out as she saw something begin to emerge from the tree. She wouldn't have missed anything happening from it, because her gaze had still been more or less fixated on the creepy plant. What she would never have expected though, was to see TWO Crash's in front of her, though thankfully they were easy enough to tell apart. "Are you alright?" She called out, not quite sure if he had managed to block it right or had ended up taking a good hit from the angle she saw them at.
Then watching another shadow begin to emerge, she muttered, "At least I have an idea of what to expected now." Not planning to leave Crash to take on both of them, she went up towards the forming figure and took up a defensive stance a safe distance away from it.
Crash watched the shadow wave his finger at him, he grit his teeth but didn't react immediately, his eyes shifting to rest on the new shadow taking form. Damn it "I'm fine!" He called back to Kathy, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He flinched as the shadow ran towards him, he readied himself for the oncoming assault, grumbling in annoyance as it skidded to a halt in front of him mockingly. He didn't respond in the angry way the shadow seemed to want him to, his gaze once again shifitng towards the new shadow, watching Kathy go towards it he coudn't deny that he didn't like it but...he also felt a little relieved he didn't have to do this alone. "I've got this one, you focus on that one" He encouraged Kathy, grinning at his shadow before he lurched forward instantly dropping to the floor and sweeping his leg out in an arch aiming to catch the shadow off guard before pushing himself upright, engaging it in a duel, focusing his punches at its torso or head, keeping his feet firmly on the ground.
Crash's shadow seemed to enjoy seeing the annoyed Crash. The shadow grinned when Crash did, dashing in just exactly like Crash just did. Right when Crash dropped to the floor, the shadow suddenly leapt up into the air.
Crash's shadow mockingly stood on top of Crash's head for a split second before jumping off back to the ground. It smiled once it began to clash its fists directly with Crash's attacks, keeping its own feet firmly on the ground.
Meanwhile, Kathy's shadow took up a defensive stance the instant moment it saw Kathy approaching her. The feminine shadow immediately began to slowly approach Kathy, though she did not seem to think about attacking right at the moment.
Out of the corner of her eye, Kathy kept a general track of how Crash was doing. Though she couldn't say the fight was going well, at the very least it didn't seem to be going bad either. "Funny enough, I have to admit you're the least intimidating of opponent I've ever had to face." As weird as it felt to be facing herself, she'd seen plenty worse before. Like a rampaging demon crashing through a party. Compared to the weird individuals of the academy, facing herself as an opponent seemed quite a bit easier. Wait... Am I insulting myself, or trying to remain optimistic in this situation? She wasn't entirely sure, actually.
Since Crash's shadow didn't seem to be making any more attempts to attack Crash head-on anymore, she thought that maybe her shadow wouldn't start charging at her right away either. Still remaining vigilient and facing her 'twin', she suddenly broke into a run to the tree beside the shadow. Jumping up onto the trunks, she ran up towards the higher branches and turned back to see if her shadow could follow her.
Crash blinked in surprise as the shadow avoided him easily jumpinging into the air, he ground his teeth in annoyance as the thing landed on his head , standing there for a moment, Crash swiped at it angrily. Although the shadow had his attention he was also keeping track of Kathy...both Kathy's? He should have seen that coming. He grew more and more annoyed as the shadow seemed to be able to meet all of his punches without faltering once, he jumped backwards claws springing out at the tips of his fingers as his fangs elongated. "..." He broke away from his shadow jumping backwards eyes drifitng to watch Kathy jump onto the tree trunk. Powers? He focused back on his shadow shaking his hands out before he jumped towards him again exploding in a cloud of purple smoke a red skinned Rhinocerous broke through the smoke its head lowered as it charged at the shadow.
Kathy's shadow jerked her head up to the tree, where she saw Kathy jumping through branches. She proceeded to zoom up the tree as well, for she practically had little to no ranged attacks that could actually hurt Kathy. The feminine shadow leapt through branches at an identical speed to Kathy's, eventally landing on another branch near Kathy's. She held her defensive stance here.
Crash's shadow saw Crash doing a backward manuever, only to find that he grew claws out of his fingertips, and his fangs had become sharper as well. The shadow himself seemed confused by this particular trait, though he decided to focus on Crash again.
The Shadow of the Shapeshifter was taken aback when Crash suddenly transformed into a Rhinocerous. While it could transform as well, it would obviously lose because Crash had a headstart.
So it decided to do something else instead of directly attacking Crash.
The shadow suddenly turned into a black puff of smoke, transforming into a jet-black monkey. It then jumped onto the rhinocerous' horn, grabbing onto it for a short while before leaping off of the rhinocerous. Right after he landed on the ground, a black puff of smoke appeared again.
Out of the black puff of smoke, a demonic rhinocerous with blood-red eyes charged straight towards the tree, smashing the trunk with extreme power. Kathy's shadow fell off almost instantaneously, though she landed with a decent landing.
So they have the same abilities too. Guess I should really consider her like another me, Kathy thought. While she missed Crash's shadow change into a monkey to dodge Crash, she definitely didn't miss the black rhino slamming into the tree. "Wah!" She let out a small yell of surprise, using both her hands and feet to try to keep herself up in the tree. The force shook the tree quite a bit, and the branch she was on almost threatened to snap under her.
However, she noticed that her shadow had ended up falling before she did. Kathy briefly turned to Crash to tell him, "Crash, I need you to make sure Crash 2 doesn't attack me..!" Giving only a slight bit of warning, she jumped off the weakened branch she was on and propelled herself a little forward, aiming to land right above or somewhere near her shadow if she dodged. To increase the range of motion, she raised one foot and made a diagonal axe kick down towards the other Kathy's shoulder as she dropped to the ground.
Crash tried to hide his surprise as the shadow also shapeshifted, he threw his head in the air as the monkey clung to his horn jamming his feet into the floor he shifted back as it leapt away from him. He spun on the spot growling angrily as he watched the demonic Rhinocerous charge out of the puff of black smoke straight towards the tree. Little- Crash's breath caught in his throat as he propelled himself forward into a sprint his eyes lifting automatically in search of Kathy, catching sight of her still in the tree he felt a flicker of relief, nodding his head as she instructed him to keep his clone occupied, he jumped forward slidiing through the rhino's legs so he was the same side as Kathy's shadow, he spun round and dug his claws into the ground, pulling himself forward in a flurry of purple smoke he shifted into a large red toned silver back gorilla, the best thing about this form was its enhanced strength. He'd had to use more energy than normal but...He was aiming to collide wih the demonic rhino, reaching around to grab its horn whilst his other hand pushed at its side pushing against it with an angry snarl.
Kathy's shadow recovered from the ground, standing up. She, however, expected Kathy to be next to her. Instead, Kathy was airborne. The shadow blinked, wondering if she could move elsewhere.
Much to her chagrin, Kathy smashed her foot straight into her shoulder. The shadow screamed something, its words completely blurred out from Kathy's and Crash's ears. It then backed away a little, looking up to see if her partner was doing okay. She instantly felt alarmed when she saw Crash charging toward the rhino shadow as a gorilla.
It screamed something, causing Crash's shadow to immediately morph into... a squirrel. After scurrying up the tree a little, it landed on Crash's head for a split second before jumping off, just like it did earlier. At the top of the tree, Crash's shadow morphed back into its regular human form.
Unlike Kathy's shadow, whose color was nearly completely opaque, Crash's shadow remained relatively transparent. It grinned before leaping toward Kathy, telling Kathy's shadow to occupy Crash. Crash's shadow lurched his foot straight toward Kathy's head, with intentions to snap her neck using extremely downward force.
Kathy's shadow, however, seemed to be extremely injured. It was not used to pain, so the shadow slowly limped over to Crash's shadow, ready to at least buy Crash's shadow some time.
Crash skidded to a halt as the shadow morphed into a squirel he instantly shifted back to his human form swining his claws at the small creature as it leapt onto his head. He spun round watching it scurry to the top of the tree , he crouched down eyes glued to the transparent creature purple smoke rising from his shoulders. You dare... More smoke rose from his clothes as he leant back on his haunches his eyes travelling form Kathy to shadow Crash. Artemis - Accelerated probability His form shimmering but not changing, he felt his claws twitch as the shadow leapt down from the tree branch at the same time Crash launched forward moving with inhumane speed jolting left then right he kicked off from the tree shooting through the air faster than the shadow could fall and aiming to colide with it, crackling with electricity he attempted to slam both of his hands into its chest propelling it away from Kathy.
Crash's shadow did not suspect that Crash would immediately follow what he did. Ironic, due to the fact that the shadow had been following what Crash was doing. The shadow jerked his body in midair, raising his hands in an attempt to block the attack.
The propelling force of the attack sent Crash's shadow skidding across the pond. Two waves of water splashed away from each other, leaving a path of decimated stone. The shadow lay still for a while before getting back up. Its color was quite opaque. Actually, it was far more darker than Kathy's shadow had become. Grinning yet again, Crash's shadow got up on his feet, immediately running toward Kathy yet again. He attempted to do a screw kick toward her body, though he did not really care where he hit her.
Meanwhile, Kathy's shadow had limped towards Crash, though she seemed extremely hesitant on actually grabbing him. A look of concern was over her face, though she decided that helping her partner was more important. The shadow took a deep breath before... lightly grabbing him by his arms.
Though it was probably a good thing her attack had worked out, Kathy frowned as she felt her kick connect with her shadow. She let out a sharp breath as she also landed on the ground, crouching down on her two feet and one hand, after the kick and checked to see what kind of damage she had done. 'Yeah... I know that had to hurt.' As the shadows had been fairly silent this whole time, the scream had come as a surprise to her. Hesitating slightly, she didn't follow through with the attack and focused on getting herself back upright, ready to keep going.
As she began to stand back up, Crash's shadow leaped at her from behind, aiming at her head. Her eyes opened wide. Dodge? Can I block it..?! Though her thoughts were fast, her reflexes were still at a human level and she began to lean forward in an attempt to at least reduce some of the damage. Luckily for her, Crash was a lot faster and saved her. "Thank you." She breathed out, though she couldn't quite feel relieved yet. It had been a little odd, though in a good way. How did he move so quickly?
Much to her displeasure, apparently Crash's shadow was very intent on making his attacks connect with her. Standing up, Kathy turned to face him, considering her options. It's not Crash. She told herself, gritting her teeth. It's obviously not Crash. But they still had the same faces, and she couldn't quite bring herself to attack him like she could her own shadow. Making up her mind, she ran towards him with her hands out in front of her at the ready. She dodged slightly to the side as she attempted to grab hold of the shadow's leg under her arm. "Urgh..!" The kick hit a bit of her side before sliding a bit off towards the side, where she took the chance to grab hold of his leg. "Crash, are you alright..?" She asked, not able to see what was going on behind her anymore.
Crash landed heavily not far from Kathy, glancing at her as he heard her breath a 'Thank you' he offered her a small smile his fangs a litlle obvious at this moment, electricity still danced across his palms as he had yet to release his 'shifted' form. He leant back about to charge at his shadow a second time as soon as that stupid grin hit its face, he was surprised when something grabbed the backs of his arms the soft movement causing him to falter, he braced himself for the oncoming attack having forgotten there were two shadows, he tore himself from the female shadow's grip seeing Kathy rush towards his own shadow he swung round building up a ball of energy in his palm ready to shoot at her, however upon catching the look of concern on her face he closed his palm around the sphere killing it before it could go anywhere. ...W-what? Its so real Despite the pain in his chest and rage at his fingertips, he merely backed away from her unable to strike out at her...his head snapped to the side as real Kathy exclaimed, growling angrily as a response to her question. He moved over to her with the same speed he demonstrated before a clawed hand sought to grip the clones neck if he was successful his claws would have sunk into his skin, his other hand swinging up to impale the shadows side.
Crash's shadow had landed quite fancifully, though he never suspected that Kathy's shadow would fail so easily. With that said, his grin faltered when he saw Crash lunge towards him.
The instant moment one of his claws impaled him, Crash's shadow roared ferociously, becoming an extremely dark color. Right after being slashed again, the shadow turned into a cloud of dark smoke... before floating down to Crash's feet. It soon reformed, creating Crash's shadow again.
Meanwhile, Kathy's shadow ran to the entrance of the pond, knowing that she was alone. The shadow turned around, hoping that she would somehow be left alone, though Kathy really did need her shadow back. The shadow simply put her back on the wall, sliding down until her knees were close to her face.
"Crash..." The shadow gurgled somberly.
Kathy had to close her eyes as she watched Crash lunge at his own shadow, not wanting to see someone with his face be killed... Or whatever happened to the shadows really. Feeling the leg she trapped in her arms disappear into nothing, she re-opened her eyes and looked up at him. She wasn't sure what sort of expression she had on her face at the moment, but it was probably a little sad. Turning around, she glanced over to look at her own shadow. "... I'll take care of her." She murmured, walking slowly up to the crouched figure.
She heard what the shadow said, feeling a slight pang in her heart as she realized it was probably what the shadow had chosen as her final word. "I won't apologize." Kathy told her solemnly, looking into her face as she attempted to meet the shadow's eyes. Raising her knee up to her chest, she made a side kick right at the shadow's head, focusing her ability at her heel to drive all her weight and force into that single point.
The shadow instantly died, though a look of regret was not present on her face. After laying still for a while, the girl faded away and turned into a dark cloud. It then slipped underneath Kathy's feet, returning her shadow.
Ganondorf, who had been watching this entire time, was wiping his tears with a handkerchief. As Kathy and Crash had the shiny exit door open for them, he simply told the audience,
"And... that is all for the Ganonshaw, folks! We sorta ran out of Ganon dolls, so stop being greedy little sh-ts! I-I love you, mom!"
The iron knuckles clapped for Ganondorf's honesty. If he even was honest in the first place.
Crash was rather surprised when the shadow roared out, before its solid form burst into a cloud of dust that slid through his fingers sinking to the ground at his feet, he retracted his hand glancing at Kathy to gauge her reaction, shame apparent in his own expression. He nodded in agreement, glancing over at Kathy's shadow briefly before turning away again. The claws on his hands slowly receded and his fangs shrunk back, he turned to Kathy his eyes closing as he caught her swing her leg towards her shadow. He felt his chest tighten painfully at the concept of someone or something that shared a part of Kathy being destroyed. He glared up at Ganondorf as he made his announcement, his eyes focusing on the shiny exit door for a moment before he moved over to Kathy, reaching out to touch her shoulder squeezing it gently "Are you alright?" He asked in a small voice.
Kathy felt Crash's hand on her shoulder. "... Yeah." Her voice was a little quieter than usual, but at least it wasn't shaking. She hid her expression beneath her long bangs, keeping her head down as she turned to him. "Let's go then." Looking to the exit, she got slightly behind Crash as she led them over to the door with one hand on his back. She kept her head down the whole time and placed a hand over her mouth. After all, she didn't want him to see the small smile on her face.
- Episode Seven, the battle between Ganondorf and Mike Undine, took place even though Mike Undine was never introduced to the in-character canon.