Noxonshaw

The "Noxonshaw" is a non-canon entertainment program in the Athalia universe created by NarayanK, and is the sequel to the "Ganonshaw". It is set in a similar twisted alternate universe as in the Ganonshaw and features similar episodic content such as interviews with various Athalia Academy students, played by their creators. The principal difference is the presence of six hosts instead of just the one: Ganondorf (as before), Mark Noxus, Agent Smith (from the Matrix universe), Megatron (from the Transformers universe), Apophis, and Sanic Hegehog (click link at your own risk; I am not responsible for any hearing damage).

The show had a complete run by the end of Athalia Season Three, and was reintroduced at the beginning of Season Four. For archival purposes the two runs are referred to as seasons here.

After most of the first Noxonshaw season, NarayanK introduced a spinoff show called "Noxonshaw: Off-The-Stage."

Season One, Episode One: The Welcoming Trumpet

Mark Noxus, leader of the Ardent Adventurers, simply sat on a sofa with a blank look. Ganondorf, who sat just across him, asked the cowboy,

"Why so constipated?"

The cowboy shook his head absent-mindedly, giving the middle finger to the King of Evil as he mumbled,

"No, there's nothing wrong with you, I just... I just couldn't get my eyes off of our fourth host in the show."

The Gerudo King shrugged.

"Megatron's a pretty chill guy. Well, if you take out ninety-nine percent of his personality, he's chill. He's obsessed with cubes and Matrixes these days."

The Ardent Adventurer looked slightly above the Roleplayer Guild screen. "We got... thirty seconds left."

The King of Evil nodded.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"...Do you like women?"

Mark raised an eyebrow at Ganondorf, who gave him an obviously bored look. The cowboy pointed at himself, mouthing "Me?" at the King of Evil. The Gerudo nodded as if Mark was naturally retarded.

Noxus nodded with a grin, saying, "Of course. I haven't met my 'dream girl,' though."

Suddenly, the lights in the room were turned on, revealing the two men in... Ganon's Castle!

"Welcome, welcome, welcome," Ganondorf said, clapping his hands together. "And you thought you'd never see me again for one whole week."

The King of Evil crossed his legs, explaining to the invisible audience,

"Now, we're not going to be staying here. In each episode, we will constantly change locations because destruction looms every second that ticks by in this show. Because my castle's totally going to be destroyed within a single episode of this show, right?"

The Gerudo King passed over the speaking duty to Mark Noxus, who looked around before stating,

"Now, we're supposed to have six hosts, but all of them seem to be... missing. So, without further adue, we will-"

Suddenly, a man crashed in between the two hosts, causing both of them to scream like women who just breathed in helium. He had fallen while sitting on a wooden chair that somehow did not break when it collided against the castle. It even left a hole at the ceiling.

A man with sunglasses, a fashionable suit, and a big fat frown simply commented,

"The Noxonshaw will introduce interviews, random battles, and whatever we want in it."

Mark Noxus blinked, readjusting his cowboy hat as he motioned over to the sunglasses-wearing man with the suit, telling the audience,

"Ladies and gentlemen: please say hello to Agent Smith. He will be one of your hosts."

A bunch of Agents cheered, for they praised their creator with all of their digital hearts. Agent Smith swiftly took out a white card, staring at it before simply calling out,

"Carmen Calandra."

...

...

...

"...Say what?" Mark asked the Agent as Ganondorf ate a cheese burger.

"Carmen Calandra. Carmen Calandra will now proceed to blip into existence for our show."

Everyone sat still in anticipation. Ganondorf stared at an empty chair sitting next to them, still eating his burger.

...That was not there before, he thought, though he prioritized eating his cheese burger over figuring out the origins of the chair.

Carmen would soon blip onto the chair... like a feather. Hopefully. The last thing Ganon needed was another person crashing through the roof and landing on a chair.

Carmen soon blipped onto the chair. Not like a feather. But also not like someone crashing through the roof. She blipped onto the chair in the most fashionable way it was possible to blip onto a chair.

Satisfied with her entrance, she looked around. It was still Ganondorf's castle, but there were a few new faces. Instantly recognized Agent Smith from the Matrix universe because of the fourth wall, Carmen simply nodded at him with a tilt of the head and a curious smile. She saw another man in a cowboy hat who she did not recognize, but she also saw Ganondorf, whom she addressed.

"Ganondorf, darling...no innocent audience members to kill? I'm hurt," she said, looking hurt in the most Hollywood diva-esque way possible. "Surely you know by now that that's the price of entry."

The audience laughed, though some of them booed Ganondorf. One of the Stalfos yelled, "Lord Ganondorf? How come she gets to kill us while we can't kill her?"

"Yeah, I mean like... it hurts. Getting killed, that is. Just kidding, I died like one-thousand f--king times."

The King of Evil shot two extremely slow orbs of dark energy at the two Stalfos, wanting to quickly deal with them using his... slow magic. The Stalfos stared at the incoming magic.

...

They blew up. The audience clapped in polite applause.

Ganondorf sighed, shaking his head at the Skylark.

"I'll just reserve room for you to... blast my audience apart."

Mark chuckled, while Agent Smith suddenly had a golden card in his hands. "We will immediately begin with asking questions," the Agent said, looking up at Carmen with an extremely monotone voice. "Ms. Calandra, please refrain from lying at all times during this interview we are about to perform."

Smith looked down at the card, causing the excited crowd to quiet down. The Agent looked up from the card, asking the student,

"What is your perception upon the concept of war, and who do you think best specializes it?"

Carmen addressed the King of Evil once more. "Oh, that would be lovely."

Before she could go on, Agent Smith began talking. Carmen was quickly bored.

"Oh Ganondorf, could someone else read the questions? Agent Smith is a simply wonderful human being in every way but isn't the most...interesting to listen to. Perhaps this...cowboy? Who is that anyway?"

She sat. She pondered.

"I guess I'll answer this one, though."

She sat some more. She pondered some more.

"War is...something that people do to settle disputes. It is sometimes necessary, and sometimes not. I should imagine those who are capable of fighting would be the most suitable to partake in the activity," she opined. "Guns certainly seem to work well," she added.

Agent Smith simply stared at his card for a few seconds.

He took off his sunglasses, looking up at the Skylark as he said with his monotone voice,

"Ms. Calandra, I've meant what kind of species is best at war."

Ganondorf and Mark simply thought to themselves,

You didn't say that, you vague a-shole.

Carmen sighed.

If there was any consolation about her participation on these shows (besides getting to kill Stalfos with ludicrous Halo weapons), it was her ability to know everything ever via the universe's oddly weak fourth wall.

"Do you know what a Pokemon type chart is, Mr. Smith?" she asked.

"It's like that. Certain species are the best at war against certain other species, but overall...there can be no clear answer."

The Agent nodded, acknowledging her opinion. He decided to be social with the audience, simply stating,

"I think humans are the most destructive among all things."

All of the Smiths laughed like crazy, while the Stalfos and Iron Knuckles laughed in both confusion and a state of "wtf" in their minds. Ganondorf glanced at Mark, who looked back at him.

Noxus looked between Ganondorf and Agent Smith, both who were staring directly at him. The cowboy raised his hands in confused submittance, blurting out, "It ain't my fault to have billions of jacka-ses worse than me, you know!"

As Agent Smith began to question on whether Mark took the red pill or blue pill, which was what Morpheus should have done so much earlier, Ganondorf explained to Carmen,

"That cowboy's Mark Noxus. Galactic bounty hunter. He catches criminals and accidentally got involved with a World War that scaled among two worlds. He ended up becoming a hero for ending the war without killing any human being- except for one-, though I honestly don't give a flying sh-t because I'm Ganondorf."

With Mark Noxus breathing heavily for air, Agent Smith put away his pills before taking out another card.

Mark Noxus quickly snatched the golden card out of the Agent's hands, giving the sunglasses-wearing man a death glare.

"For your information, I never eat pills," the Ardent Adventurer said.

Agent Smith's face froze. He then began to mull over what Mark just said, rambling on about how one pill should have been chosen. Mark, on the other hand, stared at the next question before looking up at Carmen with a bright smile.

"So, anyway! I heard you like to use that trumpet of your's for some snazzy music. Y'mind telling me in how many concerts you've been at, or if you haven't been at one yet, tell me if you're planning in participating in one?"

Carmen observed the three hosts with amusement. This was more interesting than having just one host, especially since they apparently all hated each other. Or something.

She was also thankful that the cowboy she now knew as Mark Noxus asked the next question and not Agent Smith.

"I've been to quite a lot of concerts," she responded. "I had to. Otherwise I wouldn't learn any human musics upon my arrival on Earth."

She looked at the hosts.

"...yes, 'musics' is a real word."

She moved on.

"I've been to countless concerts all over the world, assimilating human sounds into my palette. But, except for a single party, I haven't participated in any. I would certainly love the opportunity, though."

The cowboy widened his eyes, nodding at Ganondorf to show that she was more interesting than him.

Ganondorf wondered why everyone had to hate each other. Then he realized he was the cause of why everyone hated each other. So he didn't give a sh-t and ate his cheese burger.

Mark Noxus, his interest piqued by Carmen's mention of "musics" and "concerts," said to the Skylark, "Oh, so you come from a different world aside from Earth... Did you ever assimilate the sounds of... y'know, alien-y stuff? Like... those weird Martian dudes or maybe something more sentinel?"

"Ugh, please," Carmen muttered in response to Mark's question. "I don't have time for aliens, you know. I was born from the stars and was sent here, and here I've remained. It's quite nice, you know."

Noxus nodded. Of course, not everyone was born from animals. Still, her origins pleasantly surprised him. With a warm grin, he honestly said to Carmen as he bluntly took a card from Agent Smith's suit,

"Well, you certainly don't look like any alien. You look like any kind of beautiful lass."

Mark took out a brown card, which he instantly threw away before taking out another golden card.

"Okay, so when-"

CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, the entire roof of the castle was blown off, with a bunch of Michael Bay explosions destroying the walls that once supported it. More explosions, explosions, and even more explosions appeared around the castle, causing one of the Stalfos to look up at the skies.

He screamed unnecessarily, quoting Transformers 4,

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!"

A metallic laugh growled across all of Hylia as the mechanical beast landed behind the hosts and Carmen.

"I am," the giant robot said, changing his rocket launcher into a deadly looking blade, "Megatron."

The hosts rolled their eyes as Megatron cut down the rest of the roof. The leader of the Decepticons roared, pleasantly enjoying causing destruction in wherever he walked... literally. Megatron snapped his spiky fingers, causing a giant, metallic throne to "poof" out of nowhere, before he sat on it comfortably. Ganondorf felt like his throne had just been usurped without even allowing him to do something to prevent his castle's destruction.

Megatron leaned over to Mark Noxus, his red eyes staring directly into the cowboy's, as he growled, "I'll ask the next question."

The cowboy simply threw the card straight toward Megatron, who caught it with his fingers. The leader of the Decepticons, who was the fourth host of the Noxonshaw, looked at the golden card. The inky-dinky words on it weren't helping him...

Meanwhile, Mark Noxus asked Ganondorf, "Was Megatron supposed to come out today?"

"Everyone was," the King of Evil grumbled, still sulking over his loss. He wished Megatron just shoved the Cube up his own a-s before flying into Cybertron.

"Impudent creature that sits before me," Megatron addressed Carmen as kindly as he could, "tell me... do you have the Cube?"

Ganondorf cried, Mark Noxus laughed, and Agent Smith rubbed his head due to how even he realized how stupid of a question that was.

Carmen blinked.

Literally nothing could surprise her in Ganon's castle anymore. When Michael Bay arrived with his team of CGI explosion engineers, she didn't flinch. Only blinked. When Megatron showed up, she also didn't flinch, only chuckled a little at the Stalfos' spot-on Transformers 4 reference, delivered most excellently. She'd have to remember to kill him later.

The now four hosts continued their humorous banter and conversation, before Megatron himself asked the next question.

Carmen sighed and nearly facepalmed.

"Megatron," she said, addressing the giant evil robot Transformer movie cash cow villain that sat before her. "Old boy."

She paused to conjure up her words carefully.

"Not even Michael Bay could create a plot hole so large that would allow me of all people to have your Cube," she said, still amused.

Megatron's eyebrows twitched erratically at her answer. He leaned closer to Carmen, growling,

"There is no such Michael Bay who would prevent me, the leader of the Decepticons, from having the Cube. Where is it...?"

Ganondorf genuinely wanted to cry.

Carmen titled her head at the Decepticon leader.

"Have you even watched the Transformers movies?" she asked simply.

"I'm sure a human boy who presents no real merit to the plot has it," she stated. "Perhaps you should try starting there."

Megatron suddenly bolted up from his throne, cutting it down with his blade. The throne blew up, explosions shooting out of every inch and corner of it.

Mark Noxus fell on the floor because he laughed too much. He quickly sat back up to look polite. Meanwhile, Ganondorf simply had his face planted into his hands, and Agent Smith was actually cleaning his sunglasses.

"No," the Decepticon leader roared. "You LIE!!!! I need the Cube RIGHT NOW!!!"

Megatron fired his gun at his throne, causing a magnificent explosion to occur. This Michael Bay explosion looked surprisingly awesome, though nearly all explosions looked the same, so no one gave a living f--k about it. The Decepticon leader pointed at the hosts- and Carmen- as he roared,

"All of you flies are all the SAME!!! GIBE ME THE CUBE!!! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Mark Noxus blinked, genuinely surprised that the fourth host of the show would point a gun at the other hosts in the first episode. Ganondorf simply sat, still demotivated by how stupid Megatron was in the show, and Agent Smith stood up from his chair, prepared to make any necessary actions to prevent the destruction of his audience, along with their guest.

Suddenly, due to the "Main Character" syndrome in Transformers, Optimus Prime came out of nowhere. In fact, an explosion randomly occured in the air, sending Prime out of it as if it were an interdimensional portal. An unnecessary slow-motion sequence began, with Prime slowly taking out his gun, pointing it directly at Megatron.

Time turned back to normal, and Megatron was shot by three bullets of mighty lead. Explosions shot out of his chest, and Megatron landed on his decimated throne, causing another explosion to ooze out of his a-s. The Decepticon leader's eyes glowed as he roared,

"PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Just when Megatron stood up, Optimus Prime began to pump out more bullets of mighty lead, causing more explosions to erupt from Megatron. But Prime himself was also exploding because he was in a Michael Bay movie. Even though no one was clearly shooting him.

Ganondorf excused himself, proceeding to sit in the audience for awhile.

Agent Smith was recording the fight.

Mark Noxus was watching Agent Smith recording the fight, though he was sort of left responsible to make sure their guest did not blow up... because they were technically in a Michael Bay movie.

Optimus Prime shouted,

"Megatron! In the end, one must stand, and one must fall!"

"YOU SAID THAT FIVE BILLION TIMES IN THE ANIMATED SERIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And thus, Optimus Prime deemed it necessary to take out his blade. With a mighty roar, Prime stabbed Megatron before knocking both of them off of the castle with one heck of an explosion erupting behind them. The two Transformers continuously fought each other as they fell down, flying off of the castle.

...

...

...

...Mark Noxus sat back down, simply staring at the golden card in his hand.

"...You, like, wanna answer one more question?" The cowboy asked Carmen. "Or do you wanna leave or somethin'?"

Carmen just sat there, amused at the entire explosion fest that had just occurred. She had, of course, not taken any damage whatsoever, since she was Transformers: Noxonshaw's equivalent of Megan Fox. Since she was also Carmen, her clothes also didn't get damaged at all. That wouldn't be right.

She looked up at the cowboy, who, along with Agent Smith, had recovered nicely from the shouty robot explodey fight thing. "Seriously," she began. "How does something explode that many times?"

Listening to his question, she responded. "I've got time. What's your question? As long as it involves 100% less Transformers."

Mark Noxus looked at the golden card again before putting it away. The cowboy made himself feel a bit more comfortable before asking her,

"You aren't interested in romance, aren't you?"

Agent Smith was watching what he recorded.

Carmen perked up at Mark's latest question. "It's not something I pursue, if that's what you're asking," she said. She pondered for a moment. "I've never really thought about it, now that I think of it. I was born from the stars, as you know. I tend to think about other things than humans do." Despite her answer, it was obvious that she was quite intrigued by the question.

Mark Noxus nodded, knowing what she meant. After all, it was easy to overlook love when whole new adventures lived within unseen places and ideas. Still, he felt satisfied with the answer he receive. The cowboy smirked, glancing at the Agent staring into his own phone's screen, before looking back at Carmen.

That's a big fat relief, right there.

He told Carmen, "You should check it out in more detail, sometime. After all, love is what most humans look forward to accomplishing. Maybe you can find your greatest music within it."

Carmen was silent.

She was thinking.

Well, this is a problem. He's right.

She responded with a rare return question.

"Why do you suppose most humans look forward to accomplishing it?" she asked the cowboy, hoping he himself was human.

The cowboy looked up at the skies. Now that the recording had technically ended with Megatron and Optimus Prime going ham, he decided to be completely honest with himself. Mark let out a relaxed breath, thinking of a good answer- a good explanation that could give her a gist of why humans wanted to accomplish such a simply thing known as "love."

"Humans... they see love in many ways. But penultimately, there's a primary reason connected to all of these 'ways.' Connection. We want to be connected- at least, humans want to. There is a certain connection that bonds these people together. A connection that gives a new spark in their very lives, where our worlds are so dark and cold."

Mark Noxus looked at Carmen with a grin, happy to find that Carmen was interested in such a topic as well.

"I think these connections conduct the most beautiful music one could ever find. That's only my input on it, anyway."

Carmen sat and thought. The cowboys words were almost poetic. And they made sense. She was a little frustrated at herself for not seeing the merit in musical results through romance. However, she also didn't want to run back to the normal universe a hopeless romantic. She would merely continue her existence, accepting romance if it came. Maybe. Depending on who. I can't be seen with someone...unfashionable, she thought.

There it was. The real Carmen was back.

"Well, thank you very much for that insight. I may yet have to use it," she said vaguely. "Now...are there any further questions? I'd love to stay and chat, but I do have real life to attend to and I'd imagine the King of Evil needs to get right on his repair bills," she said, looking over at the Gerudo King with a smirk. "And I'd prefer not to be plugged into the Matrix," she said, looking at the Agent.

Mark laughed, though it was more of a soft, genuine one. He said with a wide smile,

"We were done quite a while ago. Actually, that wasn't really a part of the show, really."

The cowboy stood up, dusting some debris on his pants, before putting his hands in his pockets. He had a job to do, as well. A job where he would need to go back to a life of poverty. He was no rich man, but as long as he had a space ship, some friends, and a gun, he'd be more than happy to risk more of his life in getting some cash. After all, he needed to save his sister as soon as possible.

Three portals appeared at the sidelines: one for Carmen, one for Mark, and one for all of the Agents. Agent Smith walked into the left portal, seemingly satisfied with the video he recorded as all of the other Agents followed him out. Mark Noxus, on the other hand, walked into portal at the middle. He stopped midway, looking back at Carmen.

"If you really want to know more about humans," Mark said with a wide grin, "you should go ask one. They just might know more than me."

With his last words said, Mark returned to his world, where he would continue his journey. He would come back for the next episode with some excitement prepared for his audiences.

Carmen watched the Agents walk through their portals, and listened to the cowboy's words before he himself vanished to another world. This show had been oddly...enlightening for a show that typically involved stupid questions, killing audiences and N64 graphics. Mark seemed like a far more charismatic host than Ganondorf (I mean, obviously), and Carmen assumed that the usual crop of guests would be showing up on this new show. Whoever they were, the twisted crazy Ganon world was definitely changing.

She just hoped they'd eventually move somewhere else. Somewhere more...good. And less pixel-y. The usual stuff.

And with that, she walked through the portal.

Season One, Episode Two: Fox-Fire Zone!

Ganondorf sat still, twitching erratically on his chair. Mark Noxus nervously glanced at Agent Smith, who wore the same expression, much to the cowboy's surprise. The two of them wore sound-proof headphones, only being able to talk to each other safely by using the headphones to communicate. With that said, except for the fact that everyone was wearing headphones (which were surprisingly light), nothing really changed. The audience cheered, the hosts were ready, and everything was prepared.

In Green Hill Zone.

Now, Ganondorf did not expect to be attacked by an extremely deformed... blue... thing, when he came to this world. The blue thing, however, was also the sixth host for the Noxonshaw. Mark and Agent Smith wisely wore headphones when they entered the world- in other words, they decided to do what Ganondorf didn't. And they sort of used the King of Evil as a guinea pig.

Now one of their hosts were mentally dead for the time being. No one really gave a sh-t because it was Ganon, anyway.

"Welcome to the Noxonshaw!" Mark Noxus said, eying the twitching Gerudo before looking back at the Roleplayer Guild screen. "Today marks the second episode of this show, and I'd like to thank our sponsors for not killing us when they heard they were going to receive nothing."

Agent Smith crossed his fingers, asking Mark,

"So who're we supposed to interview this time, Mr. Anderson?"

"...Uh," Mark Noxus looked down at a paper he had been holding for a while before shrugging. "Well, our guest's name is Kelly Miyabi, though she also has another name, "Mizuki," listed underneath it."

Mark asked Agent Smith, "How about we just go with 'Mizuki?' I mean, it says it's her actual name."

Agent Smith took out his cellphone and played Candy Crush. He hacked every single level to be beatable instantly.

"...Sooooooo without further adue," Mark Noxus said, ignoring Agent Smith's "saga" of crushing candies, "please welcome our second guest to the Noxonshaw!..."

"...Kelly 'Mizuki' Miyabi!!!"

Agent Smith muttered, "We should call her 'Trinity.'"

"...What's wrong with you today?"

A chair sat next to the hosts, and there really was no way to actually destroy anything in Green Hill Zone. In fact, it would actually be more troublesome to take care of natural environments instead of destructible castles.

Especially if they were in Green Hill Zone.

"WHAT ON EARTH-"

Mizuki immediately engaged a Death Blossom, sending exploding hair bullets in every direction. Then she immediately saw some...thing with headphones and light flashed over to it, stealing them.

Walking back over to the group of three that were looking at her authoritatively, she repeated herself, now able to hear again.

"What...on Earth." she said, scowling.

A Stalfos blew up. The audience laughed at the Stalfos, which lay twitching erratically as well. It would require rest at Ganon's Castle to calm it down.

Mark Noxus turned to Agent Smith, who looked equally confused. Had the warping system malfunctioned? Whatever the case was, they were glad the guest did not require an ear surgery. Noxus turned back to Mizuki, scratching the back of his head as he said apologetically,

"Er... sorry 'bout that. That ain't supposed to happen, but... apparently we ran outta headphones."

Agent Smith simply muttered, "So in the end, we need to do the interview."

Mark Noxus took out a golden card from his trench coat's pocket. He had just arrived from a bounty located in some underwater city. Right after he got a criminal caught and arrested by a galactic police federation, he was immedaitely sent here because... Noxonshaw. It was how it worked. The cowboy looked at the card before making himself feel comfortable again.

"Anyway, let's get right on with the interview! Ms. Mizuki, will you introduce yourself... if you don't mind, that is?"

Mizuki visibly brooded. And thought.

"Hold on. I haven't even been introduced in-character yet and you want me to go on and do an interview?! Do you know how ridiculous this sounds?" she continued brooding, looking around at the scene set before her.

Mark Noxus took out a soda can. The man blinked when it suddenly blew up in his hand. The cowboy quickly threw the can into a nearby trash can, acting as if nothing happened.

Mizuki looked at each of the hosts, the exploding soda can, the extremely odd scenery, and the extremely odd audience. On second thought...they probably know how ridiculous this sounds, she thought in frustration. Seeing as there was no exit anywhere in sight and she wasn't in the mood to fight, she reluctantly admitted to herself that she'd have to do the interview.

Looking up at the cowboy who had just asked her a question, she replied, still in quite the mood. "Well, you know my name already...what more do you need?"

Mark Noxus put up a thoughtful look. On a second thought, she did not seem too happy to come into a green place where... loud... stuff was... sorta blasting at full volume. He did not even know if the music playing in the background was at full volume in the first place.

The cowboy shrugged, simply uttering "Well, I guess you have a point." He tossed aside his card, taking out another golden card. The cowboy read the question before looking up to face her.

"So... from what I could tell, you are quite a formidable kitsune when it comes to fighting. In fact, it's as if you don't have anything to fear! Is it a lie that you do have things you stray away from?"

Mizuki's mood improved from 100% enraged to 97% enraged when the cowboy described her as formidable. But, she had to wonder. Where are they getting this information in the first place?! Either way, it was obvious to her that they were trying to get more strategic answers from her. But, there are some things she couldn't hide.

Before she was even able to think to try to lie, she responded "dogs." extremely tersely. "That's it." None of them are dogs, so I think I'm safe, she thought.

Mark and Agent Smith actually seemed surprised to hear that she was fearful of... dogs... Then again, she was a kitsune. Agent Smith completely defeated the Candy Crush Saga in one minute, allowing him to unceremoniously throw aside his cellphone. It amusingly hit the "dead" Ganondorf.

"Well, there aren't any dogs here, that's for sure," the cowboy said, with a confident tone. Still, he had to wonder how this woman would react if a dog suddenly blipped into existence out of nowhere. He did not want to further aggravate the woman, however.

Agent Smith thought otherwise.

The Agent held Doge in his arms, which constantly made remarks like "such tails" and "much anger." With a monotone expression, Agent Smith asked the kitsune,

"Like this one?"

Mizuki had already bolted. She had somehow reached the audience in the time it took Agent Smith to get out Doge, and was standing behind them.

"Do you want to do this interview or not?" she hissed.

Agent Smith was about to stand up with Doge, though he sat back down when he deemed it unnecessary to stand up for such an arrogant, ungrateful girl. Doge barked, "much rude; very anger."

The Agent put down Doge, letting it walk to somewhere within the audience as he motioned for Mizuki to come back.

Mizuki walked back. She was, predictably, fuming.

"Why am I here?" she asked curtly.

Mark Noxus shrugged. He honestly did not know why the heck Noxonshaw's directors would even think about putting the setting at Green Hill Zone while bringing in a particularly angry kitsune in. She reminded him of... no one. That was a surprise for someone who traveled through galaxies.

"Well, the Noxonshaw," he said, thinking of why they would bring her in, "aims to interview as many interesting people as we can. And it's fairly harmless."

The Ardent Adventurer gave Agent Smith a nod, thanking him for putting away Doge. Agent Smith was playing Sonic Jump, which made the bounty hunter flip the Agent off behind his chair.

He took out anohther card, reading it.

"It is said that you are not exactly aligned to both evil and good. If that's so, can you tell us some reasons as to why you would not pick a side?"

Mizuki, surprisingly, calmed down a little bit. "That's fair," she said to the seemingly more reasonable cowboy's explanation.

She was still mildly livid, but nothing a Snickers bar couldn't fix.

Listening intently to his next question, she thought for a moment.

"Staying aligned with one side of the moral spectrum would prove...inefficient for my purposes," she explained. "Why only use half of a double-edged sword when you could use all of it?"

Mark nodded, as if he knew what she was talking about. Actually, he was fully aware of what she talked about. There were times when one simply should utilize both sides in a battle to gain a greater reward. It was not a good tactic, but it was admittedly a fast way of making money.

"Good point there, actually. You do get a disadvantage if you permanently become a part of one side in a battle. Better off using all than half, I suppose."

The cowboy decided to ask further in the same topic. "I want to ask you something: if there is a side that has a certain being that you are fond of, would you still stick to not picking sides?"

This time, Mizuki answered immediately. "I wouldn't know...that's never happened to me before. I've always fought alone...for various reasons."

Agent Smith glanced at Mark Noxus, who decided to moving on would be good for the kitsune's comfort. The last thing they needed was an extremely ticked off girl who would burn Green Hill Zone down. But they weren't concerned about the Zone- they were more worried that they would summon an unwanted figure in at the wrong time in the wrong place.

Mark nodded, taking out another golden card. "I presume that's why you would not befriend others?" The cowboy asked, preparing his next question after this one.

Mizuki responded matter-of-factly. "Friendship is as much of a commodity as anything else. While I do value friendship highly - believe it or not - my life journey has so far benefited more from not having any ties with anyone. If that changes, I will consider forming friendships again. Also...most potential friends are humans. I don't have the best history with humans."

Mark and Agent Smith laughed a little, though Agent Smith himself was laughing at Doge's reactions in watching Youtube videos. Mark Noxus crossed his arms for a moment, remembering a time when he had gotten along well with humans. It was a golden age for him. He understood what Mizuki meant, but...

You can't make friendship after isolation. You can call an alliance painted with "friendliness" friendship, but it never will be. Never can be.

The cowboy decided to add in his own input.

"Well, people are pretty hard to get along with. They backstab you, present false love, though I guess it's mainly because there are so many people who get away with crimes these days. Never really did trust a man myself... well, except for three people."

Mark thought of a certain trumpet player.

"...Maybe four."

He took out his golden card again, scanning it before a smile was plastered over his face.

"If you do not prefer dogs, what animals are you fond of?"

Mizuki was frankly jealous of the cowboy's number count for how many humans he trusted. Her counter was still at zero (parents not included). He looked like a human himself, but it seemed that he spoke like he wasn't. Curious.

Mizuki thought about his next question. "Animals which don't attack me," she responded simply. "Beyond that...I'm not picky. Animals are animals."

The cowboy thought about it. Now that he thought about it, nearly every single animal he was fond of were harmless ones. Then again, it seemed reasonable after getting chased by large, multi-eyed, rolling balls that were literally composed of disgusting reptilian skin and teeth.

"What about fellow foxes?" Mark asked, wondering about how Mizuki would feel about- technically- her own species.

"I do like foxes, now that you mention it," she said. "I can trust them. That's...better than most advanced species, if I'm honest."

Mark smiled. At least she was better at doing that than he did.

He then went through another card. Though, the cowboy began to feel uneasy. First things first, Megatron had not showed up yet. If he had succumbed to that god-forsaken theme song in the background, then it would be a huge problem for the entire show's safety. The Ardent Adventurer, however, did not exactly want to point that out.

He turned to Agent Smith, only to find that Agent Smith had turned to a new-face.

Mark Noxus paled.

A blue... thing... opened its mouth .

Agent Smith was blown off of his chair, flying through a three-hundred sixty degree running hoop, before he vanished from the naked eye. Mark Noxus blinked, reaching out for his gun, as he stared at the host that really should not have come out in this episode.

Sanic.

"So, uh," he whispered to Mizuki, slightly pulling her chair away from the hegehog, "I advise you not to get close to him here."

Mizuki was quite amused by Agent Smith's loop adventure. Turning to the cowboy after glancing at Sanic, she said simply, "It looks disgusting."

Sanic turned to Mizuki's direction. Mark was fully prepared to shoot if Sanic decided to go fast. Not that he even suspected he would catch him with a freaking gun, anyway. Because Sanic was 2fast4him.

"cum on step it up," the hegehog said to Ganondorf, causing the King of Evil to be blown into the skies. Ganondorf limply fell into an ocean.

Mark gulped. He fully suspected either he or Mizuki was next, but Agent Smith would probably come back to continue the show soon.

The cowboy pulled out his gun under a millisecond, firing eighteen bullets in three shots at the hegehog. As he suspected, Sanic was far too fast for him. Sanic literally took a sh-t on a dead bird, touched Ganondorf's floating body, went through the three-hundred sixty degree loop, and even drank one entire can of Coca Cola before coming back to his initial position.

Mark Noxus raised an eyebrow. Maybe he was definitely in for a ride, but having some fox fly alongside him would be trouble. So he decided to put his hopes on one final weapon.

Sanic bounced through the audience before going to the skies, penetrating the stratosphere as if it were made of silk. He went to space, through a star, and even a sun, before coming straight toward Mark Noxus, saying,

"ure2slo gottagofast"

Mark bolted up from his seat, yelling as he turned on a cellphone,

"I FOUND THE CUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It all happened too suddenly, for the ground blew up massively. In fact, the entire loop was destroyed by one huge explosion, and the rest of the ground around the loop was decimated by five more explosions. A metallic figure blew his way out, spiraling out of the ground as it fired rockets everywhere.

Megatron, the infamous leader of the Decepticons, roared at Mark Noxus,

"GIBE ME THE CUBE.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The cowboy nearly sh-t his pants, but still, he felt glad to see that hulking figure of massive "Michael Bay" before him. Megatron landed in the ocean and began to run towards the land as if he were being filmed in a crappy Machinima film.

Sanic appeared before Megatron, with his signature smile as he began spinning his feet, saying,

"CUM ON STEP IT UP."

Megatron got so angry, he decided to use one of his genuinely godly moves in the Transformers movies.

It was called "Dominate the First Half of the Movie."

The leader of the Decepticons fired three explosive shells at the hegehog before changing his weapon into a blade. Three godly explosions filled the air, and Sanic was already getting ready to destroy the mechanical robot.

But alas, Megatron winning the first half of the Michael Bay movie was a law. In fact, it was in effect due to the fact that Megatron was in top shape.

The Decepticon leader suddenly punched Sanic toward the ground with his unfair Michael Bay physics, firing seven explosive shells on Sanic. The hegehog did not say anything, for he had been (unfairly) beaten by a robot that could not even comprehend the difference between a Rubix Cube and "the Cube."

"gottagofast" Sanic said before running away. Of course, no one would be able to kill that son of a b-tch.

Mark smiled... before he paled.

Megatron was going straight toward him.

"GIBE ME THE CUBE.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"

The Ardent Adventurer wondered where he should run to... before realizing there really was no place to run. He held out a hand at Megatron, desperately yelling,

"WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!!!!!!"

Mark wondered if it would work like how Sam- that one useless human- did it. Unfortunately, Mark Noxus was too important to even gain extra time. The cowboy took out his gun once more.

But alas, the Autobots had their own ten commandments. One of them was "Megatron must be stopped at all costs."

Right in front of Mizuki, Optimus Prime destroyed the ground, flying toward Megatron before punching him in the face. Sparks and explosions erupted from the other side of Megatron's face, and when Megatron landed, an entire mountain had been destroyed. The Decepticon leader stood up as he stepped on a hill to the point where it got flattened.

"PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ALL-SPARK IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE, AND YOU WILL DIE ALONG WITH THESE FOOLISH CREATURES!!!!!!!!!"

Optimus Prime decided to randomly pop him some wise-a-s quote,

"Like us, there's more to them than meets the eye."

Megatron roared as he charged toward Prime, firing six explosive shells at Prime. All of them were dodged because Megatron automatically sucked balls at shooting guns whenever he fought Prime.

Optimus Prime punched Megatron, though the Decepticon also fired an explosive shell on Prime's face. The Autobot leader then fired a gun directly at Megatron's chest, though the Decepticon leader continuously fired explosive shells at Prime.

Suddenly, Sanic flew towards the two and smashed them into the air. The two Transformers were sent to the skies, constantly beating each other up as Sanic went to space. And beyond space. He's 2fast.

Agent Smith had recorded all of that, sitting on top of a decimated loop ring. He began to check how well it was recorded.

Mark sat on his chair, his breath completely out of him. Megatron and Sanic were just a pain in the a-s to deal with.

Mizuki had, of course, taken zero damage, due to the Michael Bay Law of the Girl and the Ganon/Noxonshaw Law of the Guest. However, she had quite enjoyed the interruption. She was actually smiling.

"That was the best part of the entire interview so far," she commented to the cowboy, who was completely breathless. When she became happy, she became mischievous. "So, any more questions?! You have more, right?!" she asked him quickly and in a higher voice than before. This was not her, but seeing him so completely drained necessitated action.

Mark Noxus raised an eyebrow at the kitsune's sudden change of... atittude. It was actually a change for the better, for once. The cowboy huffed out several more breathes, simply staring at the blue skies. He reached out for his headphones.

The man took them off, and much to his surprise, there was no theme playing. At this, all of the audience took their headphones off, pleasantly happy with the "movie" they just watched.

Mark looked over at Mizuki, staring at her as if she were a puppy lost in the wild.

He then grinned before laughing. He laughed just a little, though. Keeping his grin- though it had grown noticeably melancholy- he looked over at her again as he asked,

"Where did you learn to smile like that?"

Mizuki's smile faded and was replaced by a face of confusion. "Is this...a trick question?" she asked. "...Because if it is, I won't be happy," she said, her face turning back to its state of anger from before. However, it quickly rescinded back to a gentler expression. "It doesn't happen very often, does it?" she admitted.

The cowboy nodded. She looked far more prettier with a smile, though he was obviously no ladiesman to start asking women to smile for him. They smiled when they wanted to, just like he did.

"No tricks there," he admitted, taking a deep breath before sighing with a small smile. "It's just... a good thing. To be able to smile with everything you have. Not many people can do that, you know."

Mark Noxus decided to continue to hold a conversation until the portals opened up. Did he always need to talk with the guests? No, he did not, and he was recommended by the Agent that he should not. Getting attached to the guests would probably make him conflicted when he returned to his own world again. Then again, Noxus himself noticed that the Agent was quite fond of annoying Ganondorf. A vague form of fondness.

He asked Mizuki,

"Do people make you frown, usually?"

Mizuki looked at the cowboy intently, speaking very deliberately.

"I can smile," she said. "I've just had things done to me that make me not want to." Pausing, she added, "and frowning takes too much work. I settle for brooding. You should observe sometime - I'm a professional."

Mark nodded, hoping that there would be a chance to observe one day. Though, it seemed that the day would never come. After all, even in his own world, people he met tend to never appear in his life again. And some would die smiling, even though it was logically and emotionally impossible to do so.

"Friendship," Mark said, looking down at the ground, taking out a metal penchant, "would be impossible for you to make soon. You should keep that in mind."

He spun the penchant around absent-mindedly.

Mizuki looked at the cowboy, once again with a hard face. She had been reminded of things she didn't want to be reminded of, and was no longer in a smilling mood. "That's not a question," she stated simply. She looked away, trying to curb her thoughts. "And believe me...I know," she added without looking back at him. "You try having everything you love taken from you and still want to make friends with the people who did it," she said softly.

Mark nodded.

...before bursting out with a small laughter. It was short, however.

He stopped spinning the penchant, opening it with a swift click. The cowboy smiled warmly at the picture of him being next to his hospitalized sister.

"You know," the Ardent Adventurer said with a distant, but hopeful smile, "I was lying about that 'you can't get friendship' crap."

Mark closed the penchant, looking at the clear skies. Without the annoying loop ring, he could see that it was literally as clear as day.

"I've..." The cowboy said, his smile now only a small part of his face, "Before I made my first human friends, I've killed 12586 people. That's more than what my sister can count."

He paused for a brief moment before continuing,

"But I ended up smiling even after ending those lives. It's... terrible. I'm a truthfully sinful man. Yet, I met people who accepted my sinful nature. Humans. We formed a friendship between us. Something that made me smile again."

Mark twirled around his penchant once more. "We, in the end, have done something that justifies our circumstances. But belief kept me alive. Faith that made me believe that somewhere out there, someone not on the side of good or evil, but on my side."

The cowboy smiled at the thought of his sister waking up once more.

"Your lost belief in others is the key that can let you smile freely. Our faith is our belief, and both of them lead up to the brightest smile you can ever manage to make. Before you trust in others, trust their faith."

Mizuki sat, listening to the cowboy give a glimpse into his own troubled life. Her eyes got wider when he listed his kill count. I don't value life, she thought, but that's a lot of lives. She sat silent for a long time after he finished.

"I've never met a human that didn't push me away...even the police who found me just kicked me back out on the street. My whole life I've been on my own, oppressed by humans. And I'm mean because I have to be. I'm a malevolent fox spirit. I'm not supposed to be nice...to anyone. How you saw me when I first arrived in this awful green whatever it is is more like how I usually am. But...hearing your story tells me it's possible there's hope. For me, it's the conclusion of my lifelong quest. I've got a lot of time left to accomplish it in," she said. "But for me, that quest involves an overlooking of life. If I killed as many people as you have, I wouldn't be ashamed. It's not in my nature. Hopefully I don't have to kill that many to reach my goal," she finished.

The Ardent Adventurer grinned. He hoped that she would not kill 12586 people just to meet people truly willing to accept her. She might be lucky, actually. Maybe she would be gifted with a world where she could laugh faster than he was.

Four portals opened, and Mark Noxus simply snorted at their appearances. He looked over at Mizuki before roughly rubbing her head.

"And I trust you'll keep your word."

The cowboy stood up, stretching his back as he began to walk toward the portal. Today seemed fun. Except for Sanic. That dude really scared him...

Agent Smith seemed happy with his video, as he brought all of the Agents together to watch it as they left. Ganondorf's body was carried out by the Stalfos.

Mizuki was relieved to see a portal open for her...though, with the progression of the "interview" or whatever it had become, it was pretty predictable.

Walking behind the cowboy as he walked towards his portal, she soon reached hers. "I always keep my word," she responded to him as she stopped in front of her portal. "And thanks," she said, immediately turning and walking through her portal.

For though it was an extremely odd experience that ended on a hopeful note, and the most sincere words that had been said to her in a long time, Mizuki hoped she never had to experience it again.

Mainly because of Sanic.

Mark smirked as he entered his portal.

Season One, Episode Three: The Wall

Ganondorf stared at his Nintendo 3DS, wondering why he was killing himself with Link, the Hero of Time. Meanwhile, Mark Noxus simply stared through his golden cards. The hosts were currently located in... a completely destroyed version of Chicago. Now, the scenery was not exactly beautiful here due to the fact that Transformers were fighting each other here. There were so many explosions, literally everyone got used to them. The Ardent Adventurer himself had a blast watching the same Transformer shoot a gun and cause multiple explosions... over and over again.

Agent Smith rubbed his Doge's head, causing the Doge to go, "such good, very joy." The Agent's monotone expression remained the same.

Ganondorf asked Mark Noxus, "How much till the show begins?"

".....Uh," the cowboy looked at somewhere before answering, "ten seconds."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...And thus, the show began.

The audience composed of Stalfos, Iron Knuckles, and Agents all cheered as the show began. Ganondorf simply waved at the camera, attempting to look bada-s, only to be cut off by a screen fade directed toward Agent Smith's Doge.

"Welcome, everyone, to Noxonshaw's third episode," Ganondorf said, crossing his arms with a smirk. "Now, this time, we're here at... Chicago. Home of that one giant-a-s battle for those Transformers. And you know, so far, the scenery ain't that bad here."

Far, far away, a jet fighter transformed into a Decepticon, only to get blown up because Michael Bay.

"Hosts, what do you think of Chicago, right now?" Ganondorf asked Mark Noxus and Agent Smith.

Agent Smith bluntly told him with a monotone voice, "I think it's sh-t."

"I think it's really sh-t." Mark said, going over his cards before looking at Ganondorf again.

The King of Evil shrugged before looking directly at the Roleplayer Guild screen, wiggling his eyebrows. "Today, we've got yet another guest that shall join us immediately within the battle to save planet Earth! Everyone, please welcome Katherine Argall on the stage!!!"

A chair sat next to the three hosts. The guest would blip into existence on it, just like any other guest had so far.

Kathy blinked, suddenly finding herself in another strange environment without any warning. By the third time she was growing quite used to these strange transitions. Sighing, she immediately looked at the 3 hosts and asked, "And..? What is it this time?"

Mark Noxus, leader of the Ardent Adventurers, hoped that the woman would not react like Mizuki had. As he prepared his cards, he told Kathy,

"Well... I'm sure Ganondorf has interviewed you once, but this time, all three of us would like to ask questions. And I honestly hope we do before something obviously explosive happens."

Agent Smith nodded, simply staring at Kathy through his sunglasses. Doge barked like a regular doge.

They were all glad Sanic was not here yet.

"Hm... An interview's better than another fight I supposed." She murmured to herself. Kathy sat down in the chair beside her and crossed one leg over the other with her hands in her lap. "Oh, one thing." She glanced over at Ganondorf as she smiled with a hint of mischievousness in her eyes, "I get to say, 'Personal Information' if a question makes me uncomfortable."

Ganondorf grumbled.

With that gotten over with, Mark handed one of the cards to Agent Smith, who stared at the card as if it was an alien. After reading its contents, the Agent asked Kathy,

"So... other than walking on walls, what do you enjoy doing?"

The Agent literally thought Kathy liked the ability to walk on walls, not just simply have it. No one wanted to point that out, though, since he asked a decent question for once.

Kathy was pleasantly surprised to be asked a decent question. Before answering she commented, "I think you should continue to be the host or... Whatever this all is. You seem to do a much better job than that one over there." Again, she glanced over at Ganondorf, leaving no mystery as to who she was comparing Agent Smith to.

Mark whispered to Ganondorf, "Just what kinds of questions did you ask to make her say that?"

"Stfu."

After a small thoughtful sound she answered, "I like cooking and baking. Between studying and the like I don't actually have too much free time but... Oh! I really enjoy sports in general as well."

Agent Smith nodded, throwing aside the golden card because he did not know what to do with it.

He then motioned for Mark Noxus to bring in another question. So far, nothing about this girl really ticked him off aside from the fact that she could cook. Smith sucked at making cookies.

He read out from another card,

"Fashion's a pretty important thing to consider among women, or so this card says," Agent Smith said with his monotone voice, as if he were pondering about what the heck 'fashion' even was in the first place. "What do you tend to wear in the four weather seasons?"

Giving a sheepish smile, Kathy ran her fingers through her rust-red hair and laughed, "I'm actually not too good with that sort of thing... Fashion or make-up." There was another small pause as she thought about the kind of clothes she wore.

"All four seasons? I feel like that'd take a long time to answer for most people." Shrugging she continued, "But let's see... I actually just wear similar things throughout most seasons. A t-shirt or tank top, along with a pair of jeans or plain pants. In the summer I might wear shorts, and in the winter I'd have a jacket and scarf on me as well."

Smith nodded again. "Well, some people don't exactly prefer wearing the most flashy of things. People like me just wear suits... little variety, but it suits our tastes."

Kathy silently thought to herself, I hope that still means you change clothes...

Suddenly, Ganondorf found himself carrying a golden card... with a Triforce symbol on it. The King of Evil raised an eyebrow at the question, as if he were disappointed, before he asked Kathy absent-mindedly,

"Pepsi or Coke?"

"Er... Coke?" Kathy tilted her head slightly to the side as she answered. She didn't drink much carbonated beverages but figured she probably drank Coke more often than Pepsi.

"K."

Ganondorf took another card and read through it.

He looked up at Kathy, then at the card again.

Should be interesting.

The King of Evil asked the girl,

"How do you see 'love at first sight' as a concept?"

She made a slight frown and answered, "Wishful thinking mostly? Seems like the sort of situation that only comes up in fiction."

Ganondorf nodded, simply tossing aside his card, allowing Mark to take over. Now, the cowboy had been going through what question would actually be worth asking without making her feel uncomfortable. The Ardent Adventurer put up a thoughtful look before asking her,

"What do you want to be in the near future?"

"The future..?" Kathy frowned again. "I just want things to continue on as they are now, so I'd be fine just being 'me' in the near future as well." She nodded to herself, apparently satisfied with her own answer.

Mark nodded. She did not seem to have the desire to answer the particular question, so he decided to sort of skip over it. The cowboy looked down at a new card he chose before looking up at her.

"Is there a particular place you would like to visit any time in your life?"

This time Kathy laughed and answered, "To be honest I don't really think there's any place I can't visit if I want to. My family used to travel a lot before I came to Athalia. If there was any place I wanted to go to in my life, I feel like I've already been there or would easily have a chance to visit sometime in the future."

The Ardent Adventurer grinned, commenting, "You've been quite an adventurer yourself, I see. That's a good blessing you've got there."

Mark decided to go through some more questions, so he took out a card and-

Suddenly, five explosions erupted out of a building behind the hosts. Everyone turned to see the building crashing down into another building, which proceeded to blow up magnificently as well. Six explosions erupted from the ground, and five rockets hit what appeared to be a huge building.

Ganondorf simply rolled his eyes, moving away from his seat, retreating toward the audience.

Agent Smith began recording yet another grand battle that scaled upon epic proportions.

Mark Noxus was thankful he did not mention the Cube at all this time.

Megatron burst out of two buildings, roaring,

"I am... Megatron."

The Decepticon swung a blade, chopping down a building, causing it to tumble upon so many more. He then loaded his gun, destroy twenty-six buildings with a few explosive shells. Megatron laughed as humans began to run like idiots.

"Today, I shall take the Cuuuuuuuuube."

Ganondorf simply muttered "Oh God" as he pretended not to know who Megatron was. And yet again, a Stalfos had stood up, screaming an obligatory Transformers 4 quote,

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Megatron decimated even more buildings because Michael Bay. He fired loads and loads of explosive shells, dominating the first half of the movie like always. With a devilish grin, he proceeded to walk towards the hosts.

"The last time I met you all, one of you had the Cube. Where... is it...?"

Everyone looked away from Mark Noxus.

"IT'S YOU, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!!! GIBE ME THE CUBE NAO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mark decided to shout,

"BUMBLEBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And thus, Bumblebee came out because he had the same freaking "Main Character" syndrome like Optimus Prime. The yellow Transformer fired a bunch of heavy lead at the Decepticon leader, who blew up like no tomorrow. Megatron fell on his knees, looking up at the skies.

Optimus Prime had arrived.

In slow motion, he jumped over everyone- the audience, the hosts, and even the guest. The camera looked up at him nearby a passerby woman, who simply screamed in slow-motion at how close Optimus Prime was from crushing her. But the heroic Autobot left her all dandy and a-okay, because f--k accidents while filming, right?

"Megatron!" The Autobot leader yelled. "This is our third consecutive fight in this blasted show!"

"PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Megatron yelled, immediately forgetting about getting the Cube because he hated Prime that much. "You shall die along with these foolish humans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Optimus Prime's mask covered the Autobot's face. Prime wisely pulled out a quote from his butt,

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

Megatron and Prime clashed against each other, fighting and thrashing about. The Decepticon headbutted Prime, though the Autobot leader quickly recovered by doing one painful flip kick. Sparks flew out of Megatron's chin as if Jesus would come out of it at any given moment.

The Decepticon then proceeded to fire three explosive shells at Prime, but at last, he sucked balls at shooting whenever he fought Prime. The Autobot deflected two of the shells before dodging the third, spiraling toward Megatron as he leapt.

Megatron, right when he was stabbed my Optimus Prime with a short blade, activated his jetpack. He flew towards the skies as the two Transformers punched each other like crazy.

"Submit to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Prime roared heroically,

"NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The two flew off to some random place in space, where they would settle things once and for all...

...again. (lol)

The audience clapped, happy with the explosive action they just witnessed. Agent Smith had stopped recording the fight, and was now going over yet another battle the Matrix shall hail. Ganondorf was playing with his 3DS again, not caring about what happened anymore.

With the entire event ended, Mark Noxus took off his 3D glasses, simply sighing in relief.

"At least our show ends at the right time," he muttered, taking out several golden cards again. It would take some time for the portals to pop up, so he decided to wait for a while, scrimming through the questions as he recalled what was asked in the interview.

When the first explosions began, Kathy reflexively covered her ears and looked around to see what was going on. "?!!" Watching the city fall down into ruins nearby with gigantic robots fighting, she was almost sure that the interview would end so she waited for the cue that would let her leave and put the whole strange incident behind her again.

Only it never came. "Um..." Looking at Mark, who had the cards out, she asked, "Are you actually planning to ask more questions despite all this mess around us?"

The cowboy glanced at Kathy, distantly shuffling the cards.

"May I?" He asked, quieter than when the Noxonshaw was being broadcasted. "The portals take some time to get here, anyway."

Kathy nodded. "Sure. As long as the red-haired one is not the one asking the last few questions."

Mark smiled, looking back at his cards. The show needed to update them soon, for nearly all of the questions had been used.

The Ardent Adventurer knew that the guest before him suffered something similar to one of the other guests he interviewed. Friendship: it seemed far more undervalued to humans than it did to him. After all, humans never did pose threats to him because of their power- their lack of belief in others, along with their stuck-up pride, always created something terrible for those that did believe.

He did not want to repeat what he discussed with Mizuki, however. Mark was also fully aware that Kathy had a potential man who could become more than a friend to her someday. He grinned, finding it ironic at how these humans did things he could not do, despite the fact that they committed an equal amount of sins as his race did.

...Well, then again, not everyone killed 12586 people to make friends, right? Just like he had...

Mark put away his cards, thinking about what to talk. The girl had a background of having overprotective parents, who constantly pestered her not to make friends out of all things. A life of solitude.

The cowboy, after staring at nothing for several seconds, asked Kathy without turning to her, "Do you believe in freedom?"

"..." For a moment Kathy just blinked at him. "... Probably." She finally answered, not looking all too convinced at her own statement. She put on a faint smile and ended her answer off there.

Mark nodded, turning to give her a somewhat approving smile before looking back at nothing in particular.

"I really can't say anything about your circumstances with authority," he said, reminiscing some memories that he did not mind reliving. "After all, I've never been alienated from others because of my parents."

Kathy stiffened at his comment. At this point she didn't really think to question how the man even know about it but... "It's something that couldn't be helped." She muttered under her breath.

The man took out his penchant. He just felt safe with it: it reminded him of what his goal was, in the end. Twirling it around, he simply stared at the pretty little thing.

"We cannot change such circumstances by ourselves," he said, remembering how he learned when freedom came. "We can let others free us from the bindings of our own limits, but only a select few can do that."

Mark opened the penchant again, staring at the image of his sister remaining still on the hospital bed. He blinked, continuing,

"But chances are, you're not the only one who's been isolated from your own kind."

"I know of many people who have been cast aside by their own kind. Humans... elves... even some dwarfs, now that I think about it. They, unlike me, had something that allowed them to have more freedom than I did. At your age, I had little freedom."

The cowboy found it ironic that the answer behind freedom had already been said once, though in a pretty humorous way. He turned to Kathy.

"Sometimes, it's just a matter of connections and your own feelings."

"Hmm..." Kathy's jaw tightened a bit as Mark began his own reminiscence, but she maintained a faint smile on her face despite her discomfort. "If you're going to wait for someone to break you out, I'm not sure you have the right to even wish for freedom though." She sighed, almost regretting it the instant the words left her lips.

... Unfortunately, it was impossible to take back something that was already said. She hadn't been blessed with any sort of ability to erase memory or travel back in time after all.

Then hearing something about Mark himself she asked, "Really? What happened to you during your teenage years?"

Running her fingers through her hair again she replied back, "Connections and feelings... Please don't tell me you're going to give me some cliched advice like, 'rely on your friends' or 'if you try hard enough you can solve your problems'?"

Mark laughed, snickering a little. He raised his head with a smirk on his face, eying an Autobot that watched over a battle that had apparently ended.

"Advice itself is cliche, dear," the Ardent Adventurer said with a confident grin. "Every bit of it made my own naivety punish me. It also made me learn some cool stuff, I guess."

The cowboy put himself in a comfortable position, deciding to answer Kathy's question about him as smoothly as possible.

"My brother... well, he charged me for some random crime I didn't do. I did lots of crimes, but never did specialize in kidnapping, I think. He wanted my head, and my mother tried to shoot me when I came to see if she was alright from the fiasco. Dad killed her and my brother. Up to this day, I can't understand why I feel like it's just a scene from some 'cliche' movie."

He looked away from the Autobot, looking at his penchant again.

"But you can never gain your freedom by not trying hard enough. You can never make friends if you can't even rely on them. What's the point about starting friendship if you can't even feel others' feelings?"

Mark put away the treasure he had, simply crossing his arms as he watched Ganondorf kick a Stalfos for playing with an Xbox.

"We have feelings. We all do. We do not need to accept others' feelings, but we will not gain anything out of it."

Noxus cracked one of his knuckles, simply staring at the ground.

"Your feelings are your freedom. Feeling is your freedom. You need to feel faith to even begin belief, and you need to feel happy when you feel free. Freedom can seem like an impossible thing, and it can feel like an eternity to have friends without getting pressure from your parents."

"I cannot help you get what you want. I'm just a hunter who's about to go on an inexorable mission against one of my strongest rivals. I can tell you that feelings can achieve a lot more than you think they can, especially if they motivate you to press on."

Mark simply concluded,

"When failure starts to feel normal in your life, or your work, or even your darkest vices, you won't have to go looking for trouble, because trouble will find you. Count on it."

Kathy listened silently as the cowboy summed up some rather extreme-sounding events of his life. "Say... After all that, what do you think about your family? Do you love them still? Hate them? Don't know what to think about them anymore?"

Then laughing she told him, "I'm honestly fine if my friends just rely on me. To be honest, compared to a lot of people in the academy it's not like I've really had a tragic past or the like." Kathy shrugged her shoulders, seeming to recall what others had told her about their life. "... Compared to them, I barely even have a right to complain about anything. So I'm fine with just helping them. I don't need anything else except to talk and have fun with my friends."

"Hmm, unfortunately I don't believe in Disney-cliches like 'love at first sight', 'pre-destined happy endings', or 'feelings getting through everything.'" Seeming to realize something, she then quickly waved her hand and added, "Oh, that's not to say I don't think people can't become happy with their own efforts. Don't get me wrong about that. Just... Sometimes things happen without a real reason right? And it's not like you need to achieve all your goals in life to be able to become happy..."

Kathy tilted her head to the side at Mark's conclusion. "You and that red-haired interviewer... Are you both trying to tell me that something's going to happen at the academy again..?"

Mark thought about his family before he shrugged.

"In the end, I'm the one who killed them. But until that very end, I loved them. I guess I love them too much, these days. My sister is everything that's left. My dream's to get enough money to get her some nice treatment and let her live an exciting life. Couldn't say I'm the best Monopoly player, though. Poverty's a pain in the a-s when you're trying to save someone."

The bounty hunter nodded at most of what she said... before he nearly burst out laughing at the last part. He calmed down pretty quickly, ending his sudden urge to laugh with a few chuckles.

"Oh, I ain't saying somethin' bad's gonna happen. I'm just wanting to know more about ya, that's all."

Mark crossed his arms, giving Kathy an amused, yet happy look. He then decided to give her forehead a light flick, standing up from his chair.

"For some reason, I'm getting a feeling yer gonna get that pre-destined happy ending."

Four portals soon formed, and everyone began to leave again. The Agents were still excited about how many Transformers battles they recorded, and Ganondorf still did not feel used to Megatron in any way at all. Mark grinned: he would immediately face one of his rivals as soon as he entered the portal.

As he began to walk toward the portal, Mark lazily snapped his fingers to catch Kathy's attention.

"If you come back, you better tell me how your relationship with that red-haired shapeshifter's going! A little bit of love could make my day, anyway."

"... You shouldn't have killed them if you loved them." Kathy muttered, knowing full well it was too late to say that sort of thing after the fact. But it was nice to hear he still had someone left. "Really? Then I hope for all the best for you and your sister then."

Receiving a flick to her forehead she yelped, "Ow!" To be honest it hadn't really hurt, and the cry was more out of reflex than anything. Rubbing her forehead, she looked at Mark with a small pout on her face. "Are you trying to treat me like a little child..? You don't seem that much older than me you know."

'Red-haired shapeshifter..?!' Code-red activated for the first time since the interview began as blood began to rush up into Kathy's cheeks. "I-I don't need to tell you anything..!" She stammered out, not noticing that she had failed to actually deny anything the man had said.

Mark smiled, simply waving her off. A girl like her just needed a little more happiness. If she learned how to turn the light on in the dark, she would be able to find her joy in even the scariest places.

A happy ending. Just like a fairy tale, he supposed.

The cowboy entered the portal, returning to his world.

Seeing Mark leave, Kathy took that as the end of the interview. She got up from the chair and began to head out of the room, but before that... "Hmph." She stopped and stuck out the tip of her tongue at Ganondorf. Apparently still feeling quite sour about the last interview and fight she had, or rather, his involvement in the two.

That actually wasn't too bad, she thought. Humming lightly under her breath, she left.

---

An armored soldier burst through the large doors, tumbling over before making a run for it. Through the smoke that came from the destruction of the mothership he had just entered, Mark Noxus entered the large room. He carried a white katana in his hand, simply asking out loud,

"What's this? I thought the Y-Destroyer had your elite men it it, Nemesis."

A man sat still on his grand, mechanical throne. His left eye covered by a metal plate, with a blood-red eye seemingly empty, yet solid, the man known as "Nemesis Darkheart" awaited for Mark's rather unceremonious entrance. Mark and his team had just broken into one of the most powerful ships in existence.

Enhanced by much of the ever-growing technology within his body, Nemesis stood up, his moderately long hair covering the massive scar across the back of his neck. He reached out for his head...

...before grabbing the metal plate. After tugging it twice, he tore the eyeplate off, letting the handle of a plasma sword slowly come out of the empty eyehole. Nemesis caught the handle, tearing out the sword of his face... literally.

The plasma blade he took out was ten meters by length and two meters by width, and it was surrounded by a massive mix of technology, angelic, and demonic energy. Grinning at the Arden Adventurer, he simply spoke with authority,

"You come for a strange purpose."

Mark blinked before shrugging.

"...Uh, no sh-t. Not everyone tries to fulfill bounties on others for their sisters, right?"

Wings of fire shot out of Nemesis' back, and energy began to crackle across his entire body. Taking several steps towards Mark, he asked the cowboy,

"Do you truly believe risking your life to get a bounty off of me pays off for taking of some sister of yours?"

The cowboy thought about it. Was it truly worth it? Maybe he just needed a little bit of help from others? A quick donation to his cause would obviously let him have a rest.

Mark Noxus froze when certain words echoed across his head.

If you're going to wait for someone to break you out, I'm not sure you have the right to even wish for freedom though.

The cowboy thought about it. Then he thought about Nemesis' words.

Mark Noxus raised his katana, grinning with extreme confidence as he answered,

"Hell yes."

Season One, Episode Four: Ackbar Approves

A digital game world? Not quite.

Pixel-y? Sort of.

HD? Yup.

Lights? Check.

Camera? Check.

Action? Not yet. But soon enough, it'll be a big fat check.

"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN," Ganondorf shouted as he popped out of what appeared to be an inventory slot floating in the middle of the air. "Today, we are gonna rock your f--kin' world with NOXONSHAW! EPISODE FOURRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

A familiar crowd of Stalfos cheered like crazy. One of them clapped so fabulously, he was given a Raspberry award because... his fabulousness sucked. He was also immediately dispatched by several rockets to the face by one fashionable Halo weapon-branding skylark, who immediately vanished after the deed was explosively done. Some of the Stalfos clapped at Carmen for the sake of clapping. This time, there were several Iron Knuckles in the crowd as well, clapping as their metallic hands clanked loudly.

The Noxonshaw was being held on top of a strange, white circle, where various settings of video games floated by occasionally. The chairs were set up in the middle of the circle, and an invisible force field ensured that no one fell off the circle.

Mark Noxus popped out of an inventory slot as well, which floated at the very top of the force field. Appearing right beneath the top of the field, he immediately fell and sat on a chair, a grin present on his face, as he exclaimed,

"This time, we're doing our interview in a cybernetic world! Pretty strange. Even I haven't been to these kinds of places that often."

"I," Agent Smith, who suddenly appeared to be sitting on one of the chairs, said as he readjusted his tie, "am particularly interested in who our guest will be."

"i kno ikr bt srsyl whrer r wii"

But, this Noxonshaw was a little... different. For a new host sat amongst the chairs. He had missed out on the first three episodes despite being one of the original hosts to hold the Noxonshaw. He was a familiar figure within the Athalia universe; a man wearing loose skin, and a menacing grin that never faded away... unless he became incredibly angry. His torn suit pretty much gave off the rest of his messy personality.

"I will enjoy," Apophis, the Deity of Chaos, growled with an abnormally wide smile, "this merry event of pointlessness."

"...Eh, pointless, indeed," Mark Noxus said as Ganondorf proceeded to sit down on one of the chairs. "But who cares! We're about to get right in onto the show, just like any other episode! No need to get all sentimental."

"It's been months since we last held an interview," Ganondorf muttered with sentimentality.

"I have been preparing for a long time... just like I had for Mr. Anderson," Agent Smith said, nostalgia washing over his spirit.

"I've been preparing five hundrer years just for this episode," Apophis said for no reason.

"ive jfwbefnjakw fwaef wgoiwa" sanic sed(?).

"...Ehhh. Anyway! Let us move on!"

Mark Noxus, with a wide grin, motioned over to the guest chair next to him as he shouted, "Please welcome:

CYBER KANINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The audience roared. What did this person look like? Was it a doge? Was it a sprite? Was it literally a doge sprite? They all yearned to see who the guest was.

All of a sudden Cyber felt like he was in a different place, he was at a weird area with...frreaks nd what seems to be agent smith. "Okay what the hell?!" He shouted, suprised of where he was and what were there. Looking around he saw video games that he played, this is so weird. It was like a dream...a very f-&@*@ up dream...must be some leftover pizza he ate or something really bad. He stood up, just wanting to know where the heck he is. He pointed at the weirdos there and cursed at them. " Who the fu-@&**% hell are you guys? What are you from some glitch or something? or just bad weird idoits? tell where you came from or I will kick your asses" Cyber probably was a bit to mean but serioulsy he wanted to know where was he.

Some of the Stalfos were surprised, though most of them clapped at Cyber's language.

"Fiesty one, ain't he?"

"Wait, it's a he?"

"Of course, you numbskull. What, you'd think he's an amoeba?"

"I don't think amoebas were capable of cussing at us."

"...Remember the lava slugs Ganon put around his castle?"

"...Yeah?"

"Yeah, those guys told me that amoebas could cuss."

"What the fu-"

The iron knuckles clapped so hard, they accidentally killed their friends, who proceeded to cuss at them for being insensitive. Mark Noxus nodded, somewhat surprised to see the swear words being used in front of him right off the bat. Every other host seemed to simply be okay with the reaction, though Ganondorf still proceeded to ask Mark, "Can this guy kick our as-es?"

"...Maybe yours. Not mine."

"...D-ck."

The cowboy turned to Cyber, who looked particularly frightened, as he said,

"My fair lady- I mean, uh, lad, you are in the Noxonshaw. We interview random people, and we've done the same to some of your school's students. No, we're not bad... weird... idiots. Okay, maybe some of us are, but that's not our job here. We're here to-"

"MARK I THINK YOU SHOULD GET TO THA POINT, BRUH."

Agent Smith turned to Apophis, who was suddenly wearing a bling-bling necklace for no particular reason.

"...Yeah," Mark absent-mindedly rolled his eyes as he continued talking. "Anyway, just take a seat, we'll ask you some questions, have fun, and you'll be off to your world again. So, Mr. Kanine! Have a seat over there."

While Mark did make a kind smile, Ganondorf made a troll face as he simply stared at Cyber. Why he did this, no one knew.

Sanic began to intensify.

This is..stupidity at its finest, seriously this was just weird and stupid. This got to be a dream and if not, then what the hell is it? Cyber was actually suprised that most of them know that he was guy, well he might have been abducted from somewhere and... "Wait, you know I am a guy? How the hell do you know? Did you.. Are you guys a bunch of perverts or something?" he asked, this was plain weird... "And you call me an amoeba? Seriously I will f*@^#*! kick your asses." Cyber was totally getting some gamer rage right there but hearing that he in a show he had to laugh. "A Noxonshaw? How named it that? That is so lame, like seriously who ever though of that man but be brain dead or something." feeling quite relax he sat down and sighed.

Question? Were they going to ask him questions? okay like a regular tv host show... "You interview some of other students? you got to be kidding me, like why should i even answer your question? Am I going to gain something out of it?" Cyber smirked, sticking his tonuge out. No way he would answer if there was nothing to gain from or he was being blackmailed for it.

Mark Noxus froze.

His head suddenly hung in depression as Ganondorf pat him on the back.

"It's okay, Mark. It's not your fault your last name is so f--king stupid."

"Ganon," Agent Smith said with his monotone voice, "you're not exactly helping at all."

Apophis laughed, his eyes about to burst out of his eyes sockets, as blood trickled down his mouth. He suddenly shoved his hand into his brains before tearing out what appeared to be a flash card soaked in his own blood.

"Oh," he mumbled, "there it is. I was wondering where the little f--ker went."

As the other hosts prepared their cards, Mark straightened up as if he got over Cyber's comment that indirectly insulted his very name. With a sigh, he told Cyber,

"Look, kid. I dunno about you, but I don't think we'd ever try to threaten people in a show that's being broadcasted live. There are more than thousands watching our show right at the moment."

"I think," Ganondorf butted in with a whisper, "you're breaking the fourth wall."

"...There's a fourth wall?"

The Stalfos laughed, clapping as some of them pointed at how sanic was intensifying. Apophis's torn smile grew even wider as he flipped through some of his flash cards, his bloody hands marking each card with his own blood.

"Ah, HA!" The Deity of Chaos giggled before shouting demonically. "I FOUND A TRAP CARD."

Ganondorf whispered to Mark's ear, "The irony."

"Can you, like, shut up for one second?"

As Mark and Ganondorf paid attention to Apophis again, the Deity of Chaos happily asked Cyber,

"What kinds of games do you like to play? Are there any 'favorites' among your consoles...? You don't have to list all of them out, you know. It saves time."

Apophis waited for Cyber to answer his question, staring directly into the boy's eyes with glee.

Cyber looked away from the creepr guy looking at him, this is still so weird...weirder than the time while playing gmod he got stuck in the wall... The fourth wall? thousands of people? are these guy even sane to hold a show? They don't seem like it... See even that weird guy says your name is stupid. He pointed at the weird guy (ganondorf) and giving him a thumbs up. That name was pretty stupid... Cyber looked at he guy whos eyes burst out, he wanted to punch him and run away, that was so goross. He played lots of gore games but seeing in real life...just gross."Games? uuhh Alot I guess... I guess the ones I really like to play is jrpg games like the world ends with you. I can't pick a favourite I play all games and even the crappy ones but hey can't say they are that bad." Cyber said to them waving his arms for fun of it. Atleast they weren't asking anything personal or he would be defiently try and beat them up.

Mark silently commended Apophis for asking a decent question on his first try. Turning back to Cyber, the cowboy looked down at the flash card as he commented, "Well, JRPGs are a classic. Some of the modern ones are actually pretty interesting."

"I like open-world adventure games," Ganondorf said.

Everyone briefly stared at Ganondorf, wondering if he knew the irony behind what he just said, before turning to Agent Smith.

"I like conversation-simulation games."

"..."

sanic quickly commented,

"i ilek rccng geamz."

Apophis blurted out,

"I like S&M-"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAY!" Mark quickly interrupted Apophis with a loud voice, causing all of the Stalfos to automatically cheer for no reason. "With that said, let's go with another question! Mr. Kanine, I'd like to ask you something!"

Mark Noxus read out of the flash card, looking at Kanine curiously,

"It is said that you like kanines. What other animals would you be fond of other than dogs?"

Cyber nodded to creepy guy, open world game were pretty cool but some games like destiny...uuhh what the hell happen to it... Sometimes game developers get so stupid...he put his ring finger on his chin and taught qietly...what other animals did he like? He did like pandas, adorable chubbies of cuteness but he had a soft spot for penguins... "UUhh Anything cute honestly, anything I can snuggle with then ya. I really like cute s-&^." Cyber answered while starting to relax, this weird atmospshere still hasn't left but it seemed atleast it was calming down.

The audience murmured amongst them, most of them making fairly satisfied expressions. One of the Stalfos quietly asked another Stalfos,

"So... is talking about the figurative sh-t or the literal sh-"

"Shut up, you doofus."

Mark, on the other hand, felt curious. With a curious grin, he asked Cyber, "Hm. What kind of animal would qualify for having cute qualities?"

"uuhh I guess penguins, seals, pandas, rabbits, racoons, kittens... really anything pretty cute I would snuggle it bad. to death maybe...eehh maybe not I am not eager mack killer face like there..." Cyber answered and pointed at creepy guy again (apophis), now he really wanted to hug something cute.

Apophis waved at Cyber.

Meanwhile, Mark nodded, happy with the answer he received. He then motioned for Agent Smith to ask a question.

The Stalfos prepared themselves to be bored to death.

With a monotone voice, the Agent looked down on his card with a stoic expression. He then looked back up before asking Cyber,

"Perhaps.... this'll be interesting. Are you the type of person to stick with a favorite kind of class non-stop throughout an RPG, or are you the type of person to utilize a variety of classes in exchange for less power and slower progression?"

Ganondorf quickly commented, "I came out in Hyrule Warriors, so-"

"Shut up, Ganon."

Ganondorf slapped Mark like a b-tch.

He stuck his tongue out to creepy guy again and continue to answer the question."Well I do finsh a game first by picking my favourite class but then I restart the game and play new classes, experiment a bit. Like this game Fantasy life, I can choose lots of classes there and it actually let experiment with new classes that I didn't know that existed." He slouched down on the chair crossing his legs and yawning a bit. "I do experiment wil lots of classes, I am no one pick person really...so next question?."

Agent Smith nodded. "It seems that you enjoy a wide variety of classes. I remember when Mr. Anderson wanted to do a variety of things as we-"

Many of the Stalfos groaned, letting Mark immediately take over. With a somewhat humored expression, Mark Noxus commented,

"Well, I guess he has a similar playstyle like mine. ANYWAY! Let's move on."

The cowboy motioned for Ganondorf to ask a question. The King of Evil cleared his throated, crossing his legs in the most manliest way possible, before leaning over, asking Cyber,

"What would you do if you really turn into a girl?"

Apophis spit out the coffee he was drinking, spraying it all over one of the Iron Knuckles on accident. Mark nearly ripped apart the card he was holding, Agent Smith stiffened, and sanic proceeded to intensify.

They all had to admit, they were curious about that question.

Cyber was slightly shock with the new question, now what if he was really a girl? He has been acting like a girl alot but he never thought of himself being a girl... "I...I don't know...it would probably have a different affect on my looks, i would look more of a guy I think. I really don't know if I was a girl, I act as a girl so...yup no clue...maybe if do look like a guy maybe flirt a bit with girls?" He answered, interesting question quite actually. He never really though of that scenario... "it depends it what I feel, maybe I would like hide my gender again and trip some peeps...thats pretty fun."

The Stalfos laughed, some of them laughing at Cyber's remark, some of them laughing at how Ganondorf was staring at Mark Noxus's soda can intently. Some of them thought they were in a sitcom, rather than an interview.

The Iron Knuckles clapped again, though they were no longer killing anything because the dudes around them got pwned.

Ganondorf woke up from his stare, immediately waving off Cyber to silently say that he was done with him. Mark Noxus nodded before looking at the watch.

He stared at it a little bit before looking back up.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I think that's all for today, folks! Well, that's all for the stuff on-screen, at least. We will come back when Megatron decides not to assault his own show for the time being. Until then, see y'all later!"

Right after Mark finished talking, an explosion rung outside of the floating circle.

And then, it happened.

Michael Bay explosions echoed throughout the strange world the Noxonshaw was being taking place in. Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons, hopped across several floating television screens as he roared,

"WHERE... IS THE CUUUUUUUUUUUUBE?!!!"

And a Stalfos decided to let out an obligatory Transformers 4 reference as he screamed,

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

Megatron clawed through the floating objects that proved to be obstacles in front of him, growling and roaring across the way. He was moving straight toward the circle, his eyes glowing violently red as havoc echoed across everywhere he moved.

"AH, HA HA HA HA HA! CYBERTRON WILL BE MINE TO RULE! I WILL REBUILD IT... WITH THE CUBE!"

"Someone needs a hug."

All of the hosts turned to give Apophis a sarcastic, yet somewhat knowledgeable look.

And then, as quick as he appeared....

"MEGATROOOOOON!"

A valiant blue robot appeared, literally flying out of nowhere below the circle, crashing into Megatron right before he even had the chance to touch the force field protecting the circle.

"NO!" Megatron screamed as Optimus Prime began to fly out of the mysterious world. "I WILL NOT BE DENIED!!! NOOOOOOO!"

"This universe, no matter how vast, will never be big enough for you and I to coexist, Megatron!" Optimus Prime said, instantly gaining five thousand fans just for saying that phrase.

And thus, the two Transformers vanished...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...Or, so they thought.

Suddenly, Megatron came back down, Optimus Prime falling down as well.

"Ah, HA HA HA!"

Then, everyone saw the unspeakable before their eyes. Within Megatron's hands was...

"THE CUBE IS MINE! AH, HA HA HA HA HA!"

At this, Ganondorf screamed like a girl before bolting out of his chair, instantly creating a portal for him and his audience. The dark portal remained open for a fair while, while Agent Smith bolted into a digital portal he created. The man left behind two more portals, for Apophis had somehow vanished out of existence. Even Sanic was gone at this point.

"Uh, Cyber?"

Mark asked, relatively calm about the entire situation, as he turned to the boy. Megatron was caught by Optimus again, though this time, they were fighting very close to the circle. The cowboy had a patient look on his face.

"Just a quick question, but, uh... what usually happens after people figure out you're a boy?"

Cyber watched the stupitidy and insaity, it got to be a freaking dream... he sighed getting annoyed but still answered the question. "I don't know, they usually beat me up, well I beat them up first. Other will of course get mad and try to black mail me for some s*&$, creepy pervs... But most of the time they are wierded out and say I am a freak. I dson't blame them though... I kind of...toy with them alot...pretty funny actually." He wa showing a bit of his sadistic side, well not really sadistic but more...pranker side. It was just fun to see peole be weirded out or just be in shock when they find out about the truth.

Mark nodded. He actually met a boy back in his world who had a similar backstory, though that dude ended up turning into some freaky monster thing. And as someone who once saw misunderstandings from different perspectives, he understood Cyber.

With a much calmer tone, he asked Cyber,

"What about your friends? Do they know you are a boy?"

Cyber looked away for a moment, was he talking about past friends or new friends? if it was the past then...he had no really much friends but if now friends then that a different story... "Uuhh if past friends then I had no friends... so no one knew except my family." he was pretty lonely as a kid, no one really like him, it was sad a bit. "but if now friends you are talking about then I do have one person...her name is Save she ya.. knows I am a boy. Still don't know how she found out but eh whatever... the others, like Alistair don't know." He looked at the floor and became a bit quiet.

Mark took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, taking one cigarette before letting it rest between his lips. He seemed to think about something deeply. Right before he lighted the cigarette, he suddenly put away the lighter, letting the thing rest between his lips.

The cowboy slowly put away the cigarette as well, as if he looked annoyed at the very thought of smoking right in front of a student, before he spoke,

"And what do you feel when you're with people who know the truth?"

Mark Noxus stood up, stretching his back as Megatron was punched across the face by Optimus Prime.

"You know, I know that there aren't a lot of people who are mistaken as a girl at a first glance. And there are some people out there who just have some wrong intentions."

The cowboy began to walk towards one of the portals as he said,

"I'm sure you'd find a better video game in finding those who can understand you."

Cyber nodded and rubbed his head, when will this end? all these question...so like lame... "Uh, awkward...like they can shout my secret to everyone in seconds.... I dont like that but if they try to I kick them hard at their...parts...boy or girl." he answered, he then feeling quite lazy and fix himself to nearly lay down on the chair. " I prefer video games than relaity, no douches or idiots telling me I can't do this or that. Plus I can be accepted their than here...feel much...happier...no drama..well except for plot in games but ya I totally prefer that than...yaa that stuff..." He closed his eyes feeling again a bit lazy.

Mark chuckled. Perhaps Cyber would eventually learn something... different. Maybe it was because he had not grown up enough yet. But then again, growing up never ended in the development of humans.

Humans...

As usual, they were all foolish, and as usual, they entertained him with their problems. And he found greater entertainment in fixing such problems up, no matter how little others attempted to listen to him.

Because in most cases, people did not like bad endings in their lives.

"Believe what you want, kid," Mark said without turning to Cyber. "A game can't be made without drama. A game never always accept everyone, and the people that play such games just might agree."

Right before he walked into one of the portals, he muttered with a grin,

"Though, it ain't always a bad thing to mischievous once in a while. Once in a while, that is."

With that, Mark Noxus vanished. Megatron finally collided against the force field, his eyes glowing brightly as he instantly broke the petty shield.

"BOYYYYYYYYYYYYY! GIVE ME THE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBE!!!!! YOU HAVE TAKEN IT?! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Megatron swung a fist towards where Cyber was. If Cyber moved out of the way, he would proceed to launch a bunch of missiles at the boy until he left. Optimus Prime shook his head far away, dazed by some damage he received, before running towards where Megatron was.

Imminent destruction of the world awaited.

Cyber didn't much care about what the weird cow boy guy said, he can deal with all of his drama alone. he can do whatever he feels like. Seeing the weird robot guys he ran off into the portal sighing. Hoping to maybe wake from that werid dream...if it was a dream... maybe.

Megatron roared when Optimus collided against him.

And so, the entire place blew up.

Season One, Episode Five: The Old Man and his Cain

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Cain tumbled down what appeared to be a large, vertical tunnel decorated with... LED lights of a bunch of masks from Majora's Mask, screaming down in a particularly crude manner. Just a few seconds ago, he had been talking with some sunglasses-wearing jerk who said that his jacket was too red... despite the fact that the comic book-reading jerk's jacket was red as well. But perhaps, falling down made all of his anger vanish, for he now had to wonder on whether he should pray or not right before he died.

And thus, Cain saw the ground closing towards him.

-WUMPH!-

...Fortunately for him, a Deku Flower lay snugly on the ground, as if it were waiting for him. Cain groaned, his eyes rolling around for a brief second before he recovered. Sitting up, the white-haired man took his time in having his eyesight recover.

In front of him was... some sort of... drawing of a blue... thing? No, no, it was not a drawing, but instead, a flat apparition of a demon that was responsible for shattering millions of ear drums. Cain shook his head as he looked around, unable to comprehend just what kind of situation he got himself into.

Surrounding him were... walls. Now that he took a closer look, he was sitting inside what appeared to be a hollow tree trunk...? No, it looked more like a cave. But it had grass in front of the Deku Flower, and considering how a flower was planted in such a weird place...

"u"

"...Huh?"

Cain turned to the blue thing, noticing that its poor quality face was right in front of his.

"BGHWEFEASGK#%@!@$!- WHAT THE F--K, MAN?!"

The heterochromic man backed off of the Deku Flower, feeling shallow water envelop his hands. He looked at the blue thing in fear, as it suddenly appeared to be standing on the flower itself. Cain blinked, only to find that the blue thing was now standing in front of him again.

"u c715/"

"..."

The white-haired man felt his eyes twitch at the blue thing's... weird way of communicated. After attempting to translate the jumble of unknown letters the thing just spat out, Cain thought with regret,

If only I learned how to do C++, maybe I could understand what this motherf--ker's on abo-

"sanic nu mt7354u32er," sanic sed wid e frien um 15 4a32. "sanic e3 2006"

"...E3 2006?"

Cain squinted at the blue thing... until he recognized something about it. The blue quills. The stupid a-s stomach! It was him! It was... Sonic-But-Not-Really-Sonic!

"SONIC?!"

"SANIC"

"Oh man," Cain said, finally letting out a sigh as he clutched his head with one hand, "I was only able to recognize you after mentioning something related to that one terrible, terrible game... Sorry about that, Soni-"

Sanic gave Cain the creepiest frown mankind would ever be able to comprehend.

"...Sanic."

"sanic"

"...Sanic?"

"sanic"

"So, uh-"

"sanic"

"Can I ask a question?"

"sanic"

"Oh, for GOD'S SAKE, CAN I-"

"sanic"

"NGGHRRAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE AM I?!"

"ure in sanic"

Cain's eyes widened. He was... inside Sonic? What the f--k? That sounded both creepy and nonsensical in so many ways. If he was inside Sonic, then where the heck was he? Was he in a fifth dimension where video games were actually alternate realities? Did Miller's Report actually make sense after all?

"u"

"Hold on just a minute," Cain said as he rubbed his brows, sweat trickling down his neck just by the fear of finding out about where he was. "If I'm inside so-... er, sanic, then where is sanic right now?"

"sanic is hear"

"But... you're Sanic! YOU'RE Sanic!"

"butt sanic es heer>"

Cain shook his head, attempting to get rid of the information sanic was trying to give to him out of the very core of his soul. He needed to get out... somehow. The most logical way out was to jump off of another cliff, but right now, he just happened to be in the flattest freaking area that he had ever seen in his entire life! And if this guy was "Sonic," then how the heck was he supposed to outrun him to find a cliff? He was screwed.

And then suddenly, the game froze.

"...Huh-"

Suddenly, the Deku Flower behind sanic blew up and turned into Billy Mays, who walked up to him with what appeared to be a chilidog.

"Hi, it's Billy Mays here! You can have this chilidog for 99999 rupees."

"Ninety nine-thousand nine-hundred and NINETY-NINE RUPEES?!?!?! AND HOW THE HECK DID THE ENTIRE WORLD FREEZE?!"

"You pressed the Start button."

Cain looked down behind him, only to find that his hand was on an N64 controller.

"...Oh."

"Anyway," Billy Mays said as he threw the chilidog at Cain's face, "since I'm feeling generous, you get to have a 100% discount! See ya later (nerds)!~"

And thus, Billy Mays blew up again and turned into a Deku Flower. Though, for some reason, the shape of the petals seemed to form the shape of his face this time...

Cain shook his head, still frightened by just what the heck was going on. He just wanted to prove that his jacket looked identical to some otaku's jacket. And now he was receiving some sort of divine punishment that crossed the very line of logic and conception of reality itself.

With that in mind, Cain quickly got up and scampered off, leaving behind a frozen sanic.

...But by the time Cain left the area, sanic's eyes rolled 180 degrees horizontally, and he sed,

"ure @14395y ded"

Cain ran and ran-

And suddenly, he got kicked in the back by sanic.

"OW, WHAT THE F- HNGHHHHHHH...!"

The white-haired man nearly fell off of a... conveniently placed cliff.

"Oh, hey, this isn't that bad after all," Cain thought out loud as he prepared to let go and fall off of the cliff.

When suddenly, the bottom of the cliff lighted up, revealing five thousand clones of his little sister. And all of them screamed random crap he just could not understand such as "buy an onii-san"; he noticed that one of the phrases was taken directly from that one comic book the sunglasses-wearing otaku had been reading.

"Oh, God, no," Cain paled as he attempted to lift himself up, turning forward.

What he saw was a sanic flying straight into his face with a hyper-realistic, 1080p HD face as he simply spoke,

"sanic"

-KABLAM!-

"AGH- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cain fell into the sea of little sisters, his body being moved along to some unknown direction. As Cain screamed and screamed at the fact that his emo sister looked like some girl taken straight out of an anime, he turned and saw some huge red-haired dude following him on top of the sea of little sisters. He was making some sort of... french pose.

"What's up," Ganondorf said in the bluntest way possible. "Noxonshaw will begin in three, two, o- never mind, it started five minutes ago. Anyway, quick question: are you interested in women?"

Cain took a break from screaming, looking around him with an extremely disturbed look on his face, before screaming at Ganondorf,

"UH, PROBABLY, BUT WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MENTION THAT IN FRONT OF FIVE THOUSAND CLONES OF MY LITTLE SISTER?"

"Because..."

Ganondorf took out a pair of sunglasses, placing them neatly over his face, before he muttered,

"Five Thousand Of Your Little Sisters Can't Be This Cute."

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- NO, STOP IT WITH THE TERRIBLE PUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"YEAAAA-"

"AGHHHH-"

"YEA-"

"AGH-"

Cain felt his voice break, causing him to cough violently while Ganondorf continued to scream with joy. It had been a long time since the End'rana had experienced pain... but did he really have to experience it in the most brutal way possible? Did fate really just pick him to serve as fodder for some pun-filled hellhole?

After falling through a waterfall of little sisters, Ganondorf asked loudly,

"Where the heck did you get that Red Mana stuff of yours?"

Cain continued to scream.

Ganondorf nodded as he put on another pair of shades over the shades he just wore, muttering,

"I guess that stuff gets him high all the time."

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

Cain continued to scream... silently. For his voicebox had been shattered due to the fact that the little sisters were moving 500 miles per hour, and the intense movements being too much for him in general. He just... wanted to get a phD. Somehow. He did not want his reason of dying to come from clones of his sister carrying him with insane speed, or a red-haired King of Evil making a French pose.

And then, he saw a cowboy known as Mark Noxus galloping across the sea of little sisters on a wonderful, glowing unicorn, a trail of cards, money, girls, and rainbows flying out of the horse's path. Mark lent out a hand to Cain as he roared,

"CAIN! GRAB MY HAND!"

"I-I don't know who the f--k you are, but okay..."

Cain's hand touched Mark's hand. But then... something incredible happened. The unicorn turned its head to Cain, only to fully reveal that the unicorn's head looked just like Megatron's.

"GIBE ME THE RED MANA, BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII11111111111111111111111111"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mark even proceeded to reach for his face before tearing it off, revealing Apophis laughing maniacally as he screamed,

"THIGH_HIGHS FOR THE FREAKING WIN! AH, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HA! HA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

---

Cain bolted up from a pile of boxes he had just slept on.

"..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

Cain looked around himself.

...

...

...

...And he quickly made sure to look out for any sanics around him.

He found none, thankfully.

"That... was a freaky nightmare," Cain muttered as he got off of the boxes, immediately thinking about going to classes to get his mind off of the horrible images he had seen just a few moments ago.

As he left, however, the lids of the boxes all opened and fell to the ground, revealing one- no, two- no, twenty-five sanics looking straight at Cain's back, all of them wearing the same expression.

And as they prepared to move, they all spoke a single word in unison.

"sanic"

Special Episode: Mirror Battle

Location: New York City

Description: The world has ended. Mark and Death stand in the same city they first fought against each other.

Victory Conditions:

Mark:

• Mark Noxus defeats Death Noxus before Death gets to activate his Noxus Engine
• Mark Noxus saves all hostages from Death within five minutes
• Mark Noxus drags out the battle for ten minutes

Death:

• Death Noxus kills all hostages and kills Mark Noxus
• Death Noxus kills Mark Noxus with Noxus Engine activated
• Death Noxus defeats Mark Noxus within ten minutes

Instant Defeat Conditions:

Mark:

• Mark Noxus has the limb connected to his Noxus Engine torn off
• Mark Noxus loses sight of Death Noxus. Mark must have Death in his sight at all times or else he will instantly die.
• Mark Noxus is disarmed completely.

Death:

• Death Noxus gets all of his limbs blown off.
• Death Noxus' Noxus Engine is activated more than three times.
• Death Noxus is disarmed completely.

Hostages:

• Ryuu
• Lily
• Carmen
• Garden
• Solomon
• Zivon

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"MARK F--KING NOXUS," Death roared as his eyes blipped erratically at the sight of his oldest enemy. Standing in a decimated cement road, the ruthless manhunter grinned psychotically, pure violence existing in his train of thoughts, and violence only.

"Hi," Mark bluntly responded, an eyebrow raised at the destruction caused by Death Noxus. The manhunter had simply destroyed the United States of America, and perhaps a few other countries by himself; all to catch Mark's attention. The bounty hunter had been spending his time outside of Earth, so by the time he received a distress signal from North America, half of the Earth's population had been wiped out.

"Jesus CHRIST, you're a slow a-s, did you know that?" Death asked as he dusted his hands, shaking his head with disappointment, yet relief. "Seriously; you might as well call these chumps the opposition of the 'Seven-Second War,' ya hear me?"

"This is insane," Mark pointed out. "There's a line I did not mind you breaking, honestly... But you jumped over the line by a long shot."

"And it's all for getting you here, Mark Noxus! Noxus, Noxus, Noxus; I'm tired of being called the second-man-in-hand! Why does there have to be copies of me out here? Why does there have to be INFERIOR copies? How on Earth did YOU come to exist first when I am supposed to be the original?"

Death Noxus activated a cursed sword, the Black Harbinger, as he grit his teeth.

"I wiped out the existence of 'armies' with this stupid sword alone, Mark. In seconds. Seconds. How do you suppose that your own stupid weapon can work well against stupid, stupid old me? Oh? Maybe it's because we're stupid at an equivalent level. BECAUSE WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME THING, RIGHT?! L.O.L.-"

Mark took out his weapon, activating his anti-plasma blade.

"There were people who had dreams, Death."

Death Noxus' eyes rotated as his head tilted. His open smile extending, Death croaked out,

"And Death takes away those dreams."

The two stood, staring each other down. Mark knew there were survivors; there was no way Death fought a fair battle. Where the survivors were, he did not know, but he sensed the presence of life just by concentrating on his surroundings. Death, however, did not seem to know of this particular trait of Mark's.

Without taking any second chances, Death Noxus roared before charging towards Mark, his cursed blade howling with joy at the sign of life. Death leapt towards the roof of a twenty-three story high building before propelling himself towards Mark within milliseconds. Mark took out his revolver and fired at the berserker's direction, only to have his psychotic clone deflect the bullet.

Remaining airborne for one more second, Death swung down his blade, causing Mark to raise his own weapon to barely block the attack. He felt massive pressure push his entire body down, and the instant moment Death landed, a crater formed beneath them. Mark did eventually find the strength to swing Death's weapon away from him before horizontally slashing at the clone. With an unnatural speed, Death Noxus snapped his own spine, bending himself so that he could dodge Mark's blade... and a hidden revolver shot headed straight towards his head. Finding himself spinning in mid-air, Death Noxus took out his own pistol before launching twelve bullets at Mark's direction. The bounty hunter, however, casually activated a shield of plasma by stomping on the ground.

"You improved," Mark said. "And you improved so disgustingly, I feel like killing a thousand cockroaches for the heck of it. They remind me of you, you know."

"Blah, blah, blah, blah," Death muttered, rolling his eyes as he put away his pistol. "You done talking yet? Cause I think you ARE, MY INFERIOR MAN!"

Tearing out his skin across the left side of his face, Death fired a gigantic beam of heat, destroying fifty buildings like a colossal warrior causing an earthquake. Mark felt his cheek singe from the heat as he barely rolled out of the way. Grinning madly, the mad manhunter turned off the beam before throwing a bloody dagger straight towards Mark. Swinging his sword, the bounty hunter deflected the dagger, causing the piece of steel to fly upward before falling down. Jumping up to catch the dagger, Mark threw the weapon back at Death, landing as he fired three revolver shots at Death.

Death Noxus seemingly disappeared, but Mark saw him. He saw him approach with a terrifying speed; it was almost incomprehensible as to how fast Death could have run so quickly.

No; he did not run that fast. Mark realized there was something behind Death's speed. After all, if Death were to move so quickly, Mark would have died much sooner. There had to be some catch behind the strange movements Death used.

The bounty hunter turned around, only to find Death carrying a person. Tied up with tape placed over her mouth, a woman known as Lily Brightendale struggled, tear marks present on her cheeks. It was almost cruel to see such a porcelain-like woman to be held by her hair.

"Mark! MARK! You see this?" Death asked as he twirled his pistol. "Let me teach y- JINX!"

"NOXUS ENGINE!!!"

"?! WHAT THE-"

Mark and the entire world stopped moving.

The bounty hunter felt his eyes widen as he noticed how Death's blade was placed directly next to Lily's neck. He was wondering what Death Noxus could have thought of to use a tactic involving mindgames. One mistake, and another life may be lost.

Mark gulped. How could he stop the blade? How could he stop her without being unable to move his arms fast enough to reach for his revolver and shoot a bullet? No, what if the bullet could not even reach her by the time he sliced her head off?

The bounty hunter took a deep breath

and screamed.

And screamed, and screamed, screamed, screamed, screamed. He screamed, and screamed.

"Noxus Engine," he whispered after he screamed so many times, "deactivate."

Time resumed.

Suddenly, Death felt ear-piercing screams run through his entire body. His eyes widening to the point where his internal machinery were present to the naked eye, the manhunter dropped the girl.

Before looking down at Mark Noxus with the happiest smile he made in a lifetime.

"Just kidding."

With that, he immediately fired his pistol at Lily Brightendale. Laughing madly, Death Noxus pointed at Mark, who remained frozen in a somewhat strange position.

"HA HA HA HA HA!!! You actually... Wow, I had no idea you could scream like that though."

"..."

"...?"

"..."

Death felt something approach him from behind.

"?!!"

Almost instinctively, the manhunter turned around and swung his blade at the presence behind him, only to have his blade clash against Mark's. But he used one hand to attack Death this time, for under his other arm...

"...I really, really despise you and your stupid illusions," Death growled as his eyes turned blood-red, the glow behind his mechanical eye brightening. "That kinda ticks me off, my boy!"

The bounty hunter raised an eyebrow as he held Lily Brightendale close to his arms. For Mark, after he screamed, cast an illusional device over where Lily had fallen. Death had merely shot at a still image of Lily Brightendale.

"Screw you too," Mark grumbled as he activated a teleportation gadget for Lily to leave with. The fearful angel slowly vanished from thin air, causing Death Noxus to clutch his fake hair in rage.

"DamnitDAMNIT DAMN YOU! COME ON!"

Death Noxus tore his arm off, revealing trends of muscles slowly turning into millions of tiny blades. The arm that had been torn off slowly transformed into what appeared to be a minigun.

"...Holy sh-t," Mark muttered, his eyes widened as he backed away from the manhunter. As soon as the psychotic man unleashed a flurry of armor-penetrating caliber rounds at Mark's direction, the bounty hunter proceeded to leap over to a nearby building, running and running from the swarm of bullets. He heard a line of death approach him from behind, and he soon ducked before turning the other way.

"COME ON, MARK!" Death said as he flipped his arm over, a bazooka round prepared just for demolishing buildings. "Come on over; let's play."

"YEAHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

The manhunter fired a bazooka round at the building. But not only did it demolish the building, but shrapnels of explosives spread behind it, unleashing a massive cone of explosions to erupt into the air. The shape of a skull lied within the cone of destruction; a signature Death Noxus enjoyed putting around.

Suddenly, Death raised his arm up, only to feel a blade cutting through his fingers.

"GRHGHHHGHRGHGHRGHRGHHHGHHHHHHHH F-CKHEAD! F-CKING SH-TFACE! WOW, THIS FEELS SO..."

The madman raised his face from his sliced fingers, a smile on his face.

"INTERESTING. HA HA. HE. Here, Mark, wherever you are!"

The hunter raised his fingers as he let small maggots crawl out of his fingers. One-by-one, they fell, falling on the ground like popcorn being spilled by an excited theater viewer. And as they fell, Death's body slowly vanished. When all of the maggots fell, he had completely disappeared.

Mark happened to find Ryuu Yamauchi behind a trash can in a dark alley. Sending the otaku into a different location, the bounty hunter also transported Zivon, who Ryuu had been watching over with the best of his abilities. His eyes were locked on the maggots that lied far away from him. For the time being, he could look somewhere else other than at Death.

He needed to find the hostages before using his Engine's full capabilities. It had the chance of erasing not only him, but many others around him. Of course, it was a chance, but Mark did not want to risk the lives of those who were still present.

Much to his surprise, the maggots abruptly crawled towards his direction with great speed.

"Sh-"

Mark swung his blade down, clashing swords with a halfly-regrown Death Noxus that popped out of the maggots.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! OHHHHHHHHHH, man, Mark, you really like to run away and do your own sh-t, huh? Quite the anti-social bastard here, right?"

"I find it ironic," Mark said with a grin, "that you're the one who's talking too much now."

"...!!!"

Death fully regrew his body before flipping away from Mark, who activated a gauntlet hidden underneath his glove. Smashing where Death had been, Mark looked up, his eyes locking onto Death's.

"Come on, Mark! Fighting is like breathing!"

"And killing is what? Peeing?"

The manhunter threw three daggers at Mark's direction before shooting at Mark. Mark, on the other hand, raised an arm before swinging it, smashing away several daggers from himself before catching a bullet with his sword. As the bullet fell down, Mark twirled his metallic blade, preparing a more defensive stance.

Death Noxus needed more time before activating his Noxus Engine. Unlike Mark, if Death overcharges his Engine, he needed to wait for ten minutes. A few minutes had already gone by. Mark was losing time, and Death was winning it.

With that said, Mark took out a playing card. It was all or nothing.

Unfortunately, Death made Mark lose his chance of winning everything by shooting the card instinctively.

"OooooooooooooooooooOOOOOPS! My bad, Mr. Noxus," Death Noxus said with a smile.

Mark did not move.

"...Oh, come-FREAKING-ON-"

Death threw his blade towards where Mark had moved towards. Holding the same card in his hand, Mark suddenly turned into the same color of air.

As Death turned back into his puddle of maggots, Mark quickly ran through buildings. He jumped and looked and looked, until finally, he found a person huddled up in a bedroom. Mark touched Garden gently, sending her away from the destroyed land.

All he needed to do was find the two more lifeforms that remained on the battlefield.

Though, Mark knew he had to pay attention to Death, for he knew that he had to jump out of the building at that moment. Leaping out of a window, Mark flew from a building that blew up violently, landing on the ground with his eyes locked on Death once more.

"Two more," Mark said with a grin.

Death smiled even wider. "I won't let you let them leave alive."

This time, Mark took the offensive and took out his own dagger, slashing at Death Noxus like a vertical tornado. Blocking the attacks, Death deflected about five of the blade slashes before pulling back, going straight in to stab Mark. The bounty hunter, however, managed to push himself above Death's blade, for he flew behind Death as he shot the manhunter's head.

"OW! Okay, that seriously hurt. Can I brutally harass your family- no wait, you only have your sister. Can I harass your sister, Mark?"

The bounty hunter replied by shooting Death's foot, which barely managed to avoid the attack.

"...Good answer, I guess."

Death smiled.

And then, he disappeared once more.

Suddenly, Death appeared with two hostages. The two final hostages present on the battlefield.

"This is getting nowhere," Death said. "Actually, I noticed I'm starting to sort of... lose my touch. Sooooo I'll let these pretty ladies deal with it."

The man tapped Solomon's head before tapping Carmen's head. The two women suddenly fell unconscious, falling on the ground roughly.

As soon as they fell, however, their bodies slowly picked themselves up. It was as if there was some sort of... force pulling them up. Their feet slightly above the ground, the two women slowly approached Mark as Death fired between them, finally shooting Mark straight in the chest.

Mark felt two bullets fly through him, though one bullet gracefully flew past him instead of entering his body. He had just been shot in a vital area.

Venom, Mark thought, realizing how his mind felt weaker.

"Mark," Death Noxus said, his mechanical eye slowly gathering power. "See ya!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

With a maniacal laughter, Death fired a beam of heat at Mark. Light enveloped where the bounty hunter once was, and the man apparently scattered across the ground.

"Woo hoo! That sounds like blood rolling around like usual," Death said.

"It does, doesn't it?"

"?!?!? WHAT-"

Death felt a knife slide through the back of his neck, through his spine, through his pelvis, and through his stomach. Bursting into an explosion of blood, Death Noxus felt like he would drown in his own blood. Red painted the world he destroyed. A red color that belonged to him that spread across a world he made.

"GRAGHHHHHHHH...! JJHKKG!! AGUHGKKAGHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH..................."

His body partially sliced in half, Death Noxus backed away as he felt his world spiraling towards a state of madness. Something felt wrong, yet so familiar. It was the scent of death that approached him.

Mark had fooled him yet again.

"But Ma...rk," Death asked as his bisected mouth spoke awkwardly, "what can y...ou do now?"

The bounty hunter, who stood behind Death with Solomon fading away to a safe area, felt his eyes widen at the sight of Carmen crawling on the ground, with Death standing over her. His blood had sprayed all the way to her and drenched her legs in blood. Desperate in trying to stay alive, the Skylark crawled and crawled, hopeful in seeing the light of day, and hoping that what she experienced was just a bad dream that she just needed to talk with her friends about. They could help her.

If she lived, that was.

"Ha.....h....a............h..a........h..a....a....h...a...................a......"

"...Death."

"GHKRGPUAWHABAHHAHAHAHABWAHAFHGVALWD..... UG..H...H......H...H...........H.............H..."

Mark frowned. The sight of someone who fell into the fate of being a mere copy of him... felt unbearable to watch.

For, in a sense, Mark was the true villain for even existing to allow such an abomination to be made.

"MA..........R....K............."

"...Dreams are nice, Death."

The bounty hunter sped towards the bloody mess that was once known as Death Noxus. The bloody mess blindly flew over to Mark Noxus, leaving behind a trail of infinite blood, screaming in pain, agony, sadness, sorrow, and an eternal loneliness that finally burst out into a firework of gore.

Mark slashed through Death's bisected neck, arms, and legs.

"MM....M.........A........R...K.........."

And as he slashed through the man who simply wanted to have something he could talk to, Mark felt his eyes widen. The voice of someone that was not a mere clone of himself... escaped Death through his final words.

"D..RE...AM..S............I.....W..A...NT...ED....TH.....E.........M..................................................T..O.....O......................."

Death fell.

And Death died.

"Farewell," Mark muttered. There were no tears to be shed, but deep down, he knew that he had all the reason to cry. He had, after all, killed someone who was horrifyingly transformed to resemble him. Someone who went through the fate of being unable to be oneself, no matter how they tried.

"Farewell."

The bounty hunter stood, turning to Carmen. The Skylark looked up at him with pleading eyes, her body nearly in a mangled state.

"...This was all a bad dream," Mark said, walking over to Carmen before kneeling to her. "You will forget everything about it, and you should never remember it."

A hand touched Carmen's face tenderly. Mark finally felt weak, and as he let Carmen fade away as well, spoke softly.

"It's a gift to have good dreams, after all. No room for bad dreams; just save it for the good ones."

"..."

"...Goodbye."

The battle ended with Mark standing as the lone survivor in the United States of America.

-The End-

Special Episode II: Red VS Blue

Location: Osaka

Description: A classic 1v1 battle that takes place in an active city! The battle not only takes place on the roof of an old temple, but it also shifts through construction sites, buildings, and even blimps at occasional moments. There is also a catch at the end of the transitions!

Victory Conditions:

Ryuu Yamauchi and Jihan Bang

• One of the two reaches a flag and runs back to the first location. A Capture-The-Flag-esque objective that involves only a single flag.

Ryuu Yamauchi

• Defeats Jihan Bang
• Activates Paradise Dreamworld and touches the flag within five seconds after its activation
• Avoid five Overdrives delivered by Bang

Jihan Bang

• Defeats Ryuu Yamauchi
• Connect three Overdrives successfully
• Attack Ryuu with 100-hit combos... three times.

Instant Defeat Conditions:

Ryuu Yamauchi

• Gets hit by Soul-Calming Water Palm Fist
• Gets knocked out of Osaka and into the Sewers
• Gets attacked while activating Paradise Dreamworld

Jihan Bang

• Gets Taekwondo Assault countered by Ryuu's Crazy Tokyo Spin Attack
• Gets hit by Ryuu five times while Paradise Dreamworld is activated
• Gets Taekwon Rushhour's Counter version countered by Ryuu's Toradora Roundhouse Smash

The Flag

The flag lies on the nearest building to the Osaka Temple! Capture the flag and return it to the temple, and instant victory will be handed towards the one still carrying the flag.

-.-.-.-.-.-

"Hm!" Bang said, glaring at Ryuu as he tied his black belt around his waist.

"...What's your problem, dude?" Ryuu asked, somewhat disturbed by how passionately the Taekwondo fighter stared at him.

"I don't know, young pupil," Bang answered. "You sort of look half-a-sed."

"HALF-A-SED?! WHAT'S WITH THAT TRASH TALK?! The match didn't even begin, a-stard."

"Noob."

"Noob?"

"Noob Yamauchi. I find it a fitting replacement for your name. But do not worry; if you improve, I will call you Padawamauchi instead."

"...I actually think Noob Yamauchi is better than what the f-ck you just said."

Ryuu took out his lightsaber, activating it with a grin as he readjusted his sunglasses.

"I'm gonna make you take back your word, Bang."

Jihan Bang prepared his own stance, giving Ryuu a creeped-out look. "I didn't even tell you my name... Noob Creepichi. That sounds better."

"YOU WOT-"

The instant moment Ryuu began to scream, Bang ran towards Ryuu, placing a clenched fist by his waist. Taken aback by the Taekwondo fighter's speed, Ryuu immediately raised one of his legs, smashing aside a palm fist Bang attempted to use against him. Unfortunately for the otaku, his other hand was preoccupied by holding a lightsaber. Connecting the palm attack directly with a Fast Kick, Bang kicked Ryuu's knee, then his stomach, and then straight towards his head, knocking the student away.

Flipping over, the sunglasses-wearing student barely managed to land on his feet, his hand supporting him from falling on his face.

His lightsaber still in hand, the sunglasses-wearing otaku stepped towards Bang- and by step, Ryuu seemingly sped towards the Taekwondo fighter. Bang, however, felt his presence, and even Ryuu's intention to attack him. His eyes piercing through Ryuu's sunglasses, the man formed water by his foot before swinging it upward, sending Ryuu's lightsaber flying behind him.

"What the-...?!"

"...Hm! ORAAAAAA!"

Bang swung down his foot, sending his foot colliding against the top of Ryuu's head. The Crescent Kick sent Ryuu falling on his face, though the otaku somehow managed to deal with the pain and grab Bang's foot. Pulling harshly, the sunglasses-wearing man tripped the Taekwondo fighter before grabbing the man's waist. Ryuu pulled and lifted Bang up in the air before delivering a powerful Tiger Suplex, causing Bang to twitch and attempt to pull out of Ryuu's grip.

The Taekwondo fighter did manage to pull himself out, and when he did so, he rolled away to safety. He turned back to Ryuu, who walked over to his lightsaber and picked it up calmly.

The otaku's spirit was far from calm, however. Impatient with waiting for the man to actually attack first, the otaku attempted to stab at his direction when suddenly, the temple they fought on shook violently.

"NANI?!" Ryuu screamed instinctively as Bang attempted to regain his balance.

Soon, the temple blew up into a massive explosion, and the two fighters were sent flying towards the skies. Spiraling helplessly in midair, the two landed straight on top of the rooftop of an unfinished building. Ryuu landed by the attic's entrance, while Bang landed right at the edge of the building.

The two stood up immediately, running straight at each other. This time, Bang swung a Side Thrusting Kick, but Ryuu ducked over it swiftly. Bang then swept his foot across the ground, still spinning with the momentum he used for the Side Thrusting Kick. The otaku jumped, and as he landed, Ryuu proceeded to duck once more, dodging yet another Side Thrusting Kick before slamming into Bang with a football tackle. The Taekwondo fighter tumbled across the building, skidding across the ground as he regained his footing.

Sighing, the sunglasses-wearing spun around his sword, gathering as much plasma as he could into it. The sword soon extended its length and, by the time it grew over seven meters, Ryuu proceeded to swing it straight at Bang. He finally connected a hit with the plasma, though Bang seemed to take it well.

When Ryuu slashed once more from a moderate distance, however, Bang formed water by his fist before punching through the plasma, shattering Ryuu's concentration. His eyes dead-set on the otaku, Bang leapt into the air before falling down with an Airborne Axe Kick.

The otaku suddenly smirked as he muttered "Gotcha."

Spinning around, Ryuu swung his blade at the airborne Bang, propelling the Taekwondo user off of the building. Plummeting towards a container filled with water, Bang saw Ryuu fall down towards him.

The two landed into the container, and the container's lid soon sealed the object shut. The container rumbled, shook, and violently moved around, twenty dents appearing on the object within five seconds. Soon, the object blew up, and the two fighters found themselves floating straight into two water slides made by make-shift building construction pieces.

As the two sped down the slides, Ryuu and Bang both jumped off the slides, landing on a building with a far lower height than the previous one they fought in. When the sunglasses-wearing student turned around to find Bang, however, he was met with a straight kick to the face. Tumbling off of the building, Ryuu landed on the streets of Osaka, Bang following suite.

"Hmph," Ryuu grumbled as he stopped rolling across the ground. "That hurt quite a bit, Femon Yang."

"It's Jihan Bang, Noob Creepichi."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT, YOU LITTLE SH-T!"

As if attempting to say "No" in the kindest way possible, Jihan Bang suddenly Axe Kicked the ground, sending a tide of water over at Ryuu's direction. Growling out of frustration, the otaku picked himself up, his eyes crackling with plasma energy.

"Paradise DREAMWORLD!"

His eyes now crackling furiously with red plasma, Ryuu slashed through the tide of water and began to mindlessly swing his heavily empowered sword. With the length of the sword increased, Bang found himself getting hit rapidly, unable to punch through the plasma with his water manipulation.

That did not mean to say that he could not catch the blade, however.

With a serene mind, Jihan caught the furiously red blade of the extended plasma sword with the tips of his fingers before swinging it down on the floor. With the blade literally smashed into the ground, Bang jumped on the blade before running straight up to Ryuu Yamauchi.

"Oh, crap-"

A Spinning Jump Hook Kick knocked Ryuu's sunglasses cleanly off of his face. As Ryuu toppled over due to the blinding light that shined over them, Bang landed behind the otaku, stretching his shoulders before turning back to the otaku.

"...Hm," Bang grunted as he walked up to the sunglasses that fell off of Ryuu's face. Picking it up, the man tossed it over to Ryuu.

"Wear it. You cannot fight without it, can you?"

The otaku growled, his teeth grinding against each other. Paradise Dreamworld had clearly ended, but something... different seemed to emit out of the boy.

"Hm?" Bang raised an eyebrow as he saw a strange black substance cover the boy. "What on Earth is that?"

The substance covered Ryuu's body before materializing into a full set of red armor. Getting up quickly from the ground, Ryuu turned around, staring at the Taekwondo fighter.

"...I do not know what you just used, Noob Creepichi," Bang said, preparing his stance once more. "But if this is a sign of you taking me seriously, I will gladly take you on, Creepichi (lol)."

Ryuu(?) cracked his knuckles before raising a palm.

Almost instantaneously, Bang felt a powerful blast of plasma send him flying into a massive slab of concrete. Tumbling into a dark building, the Taekwondo fighter shook his head, wheezing due to the dust that formed around him. He was met by another blast of plasma, which also blasted him through the building yet again. Now outside again, Bang barely stood back up.

"That was impressive," he commented. "I will now call you Padawacreepichi."

"Keep your eyes peeled," the armored Ryuu growled before roaring. Gathering plasma once more, the armored being fired a blast of plasma, both of his hands used to extend its length.

But yet again, Bang found a way to counter the attack.

"...?! What the f-...?! How did he-"

For Bang caught the blast of plasma with the tips of his fingers. Now, Bang himself was aware that he could not catch anything other than the limbs of fighters. He, however, noticed something.

The plasma never completely left Ryuu, and he sensed the intentions behind the attack. To Bang, all the Taekwondo fighter saw was just a massive limb sticking out of Ryuu every time he fired the strange blasts of plasma.

Grabbing tightly onto the plasma, Bang pulled Ryuu towards him with great force. He calmed his mind down.

"Technique of Water," he uttered. "Soul-Calming Water Palm Fist."

The Taekwondo fighter punched Ryuu directly in the face with the particular attack, shattering the armor instantly. Ryuu's body tumbled over yet again, his stamina fairly depleted. Bang had (surpisingly) defeated the strange form of Ryuu with great speed, but he had not yet used the Soul-Calming Water Palm Fist directly against Ryuu himself. Apparently, there was some sort of life within the black substance that once covered the otaku's body...

Since this was a Noxonshaw episode, however, Bang did not give a single f-ck about the armor. Instead, he turned around and ran towards somewhere.

"...Huh?" Ryuu let out as he stood up, almost dead from his own depleted stamina. The early defeat of the parasite armor left Ryuu with some energy, though he was not sure if he could even fight back at this point. He watched Bang disappear into a building.

...And soon, the Korean man ran out with a flag in his hands.

"...Oh, CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT WE COULD USE THAT FLAG!" Ryuu screamed as he forced himself to run. But it was no use. Jihan Bang would now remember him as Padawacreepichi.

Running into the temple, Bang ran and ran up flights of stairs before finally stepping into the roof of the Osaka Temple. As much as Ryuu tried to follow him, Bang arrived first with the flag.

"I DID IT!" Bang yelled happily.

And since Bang brought the flag into the destroyed temple (that only had stairs and some parts of the roof left), the flag vanished into thin air.

"YES! I have won this battle," Bang said. "But there are many more battles to win for me. I remember as a child when I first picked up a stone and threw it at a Coca Cola can-"

"Oh God..." Ryuu muttered as he covered his ears, falling on his back as he let Bang proceed to go on about his stupid past.

The day in Osaka slowly passed on. Jihan Bang had defeated Ryuu Yamauchi, and with his victory came his invitation to Ryuu. He offered the otaku a way to improve upon himself and excel to the point where he could be something other than "Padawacreepichi," and soon, Ryuu found himself training in Bang's dojo; not because he wanted to, but because Bang sent four-thousand letters of the same invitation to Ryuu every day.

-The End-

Trivia

• Episode Two, "Fox-Fire Zone!", was released before its guest, Mizuki, was introduced into the in-character canon.