Main article: Noxonshaw
Previous episode: S1E1: The Welcoming Trumpet
Location: Green Hill Zone
Hosts: Mark Noxus, Ganondorf, Agent Smith, Sanic, Megatron
Featured Guest: Mizuki "Kelly Miyabi"
Other Appearances: Doge, Optimus Prime
Ganondorf sat still, twitching erratically on his chair. Mark Noxus nervously glanced at Agent Smith, who wore the same expression, much to the cowboy's surprise. The two of them wore sound-proof headphones, only being able to talk to each other safely by using the headphones to communicate. With that said, except for the fact that everyone was wearing headphones (which were surprisingly light), nothing really changed. The audience cheered, the hosts were ready, and everything was prepared.
In Green Hill Zone.
Now, Ganondorf did not expect to be attacked by an extremely deformed... blue... thing, when he came to this world. The blue thing, however, was also the sixth host for the Noxonshaw. Mark and Agent Smith wisely wore headphones when they entered the world- in other words, they decided to do what Ganondorf didn't. And they sort of used the King of Evil as a guinea pig.
Now one of their hosts were mentally dead for the time being. No one really gave a sh-t because it was Ganon, anyway.
"Welcome to the Noxonshaw!" Mark Noxus said, eying the twitching Gerudo before looking back at the Roleplayer Guild screen. "Today marks the second episode of this show, and I'd like to thank our sponsors for not killing us when they heard they were going to receive nothing."
Agent Smith crossed his fingers, asking Mark,
"So who're we supposed to interview this time, Mr. Anderson?"
"...Uh," Mark Noxus looked down at a paper he had been holding for a while before shrugging. "Well, our guest's name is Kelly Miyabi, though she also has another name, "Mizuki," listed underneath it."
Mark asked Agent Smith, "How about we just go with 'Mizuki?' I mean, it says it's her actual name."
Agent Smith took out his cellphone and played Candy Crush. He hacked every single level to be beatable instantly.
"...Sooooooo without further adue," Mark Noxus said, ignoring Agent Smith's "saga" of crushing candies, "please welcome our second guest to the Noxonshaw!..."
"...Kelly 'Mizuki' Miyabi!!!"
Agent Smith muttered, "We should call her 'Trinity.'"
"...What's wrong with you today?"
A chair sat next to the hosts, and there really was no way to actually destroy anything in Green Hill Zone. In fact, it would actually be more troublesome to take care of natural environments instead of destructible castles.
Especially if they were in Green Hill Zone.
"WHAT ON EARTH-"
Mizuki immediately engaged a Death Blossom, sending exploding hair bullets in every direction. Then she immediately saw some...thing with headphones and light flashed over to it, stealing them.
Walking back over to the group of three that were looking at her authoritatively, she repeated herself, now able to hear again.
"What...on Earth." she said, scowling.
A Stalfos blew up. The audience laughed at the Stalfos, which lay twitching erratically as well. It would require rest at Ganon's Castle to calm it down.
Mark Noxus turned to Agent Smith, who looked equally confused. Had the warping system malfunctioned? Whatever the case was, they were glad the guest did not require an ear surgery. Noxus turned back to Mizuki, scratching the back of his head as he said apologetically,
"Er... sorry 'bout that. That ain't supposed to happen, but... apparently we ran outta headphones."
Agent Smith simply muttered, "So in the end, we need to do the interview."
Mark Noxus took out a golden card from his trench coat's pocket. He had just arrived from a bounty located in some underwater city. Right after he got a criminal caught and arrested by a galactic police federation, he was immedaitely sent here because... Noxonshaw. It was how it worked. The cowboy looked at the card before making himself feel comfortable again.
"Anyway, let's get right on with the interview! Ms. Mizuki, will you introduce yourself... if you don't mind, that is?"
Mizuki visibly brooded. And thought.
"Hold on. I haven't even been introduced in-character yet and you want me to go on and do an interview?! Do you know how ridiculous this sounds?" she continued brooding, looking around at the scene set before her.
Mark Noxus took out a soda can. The man blinked when it suddenly blew up in his hand. The cowboy quickly threw the can into a nearby trash can, acting as if nothing happened.
Mizuki looked at each of the hosts, the exploding soda can, the extremely odd scenery, and the extremely odd audience. On second thought...they probably know how ridiculous this sounds, she thought in frustration. Seeing as there was no exit anywhere in sight and she wasn't in the mood to fight, she reluctantly admitted to herself that she'd have to do the interview.
Looking up at the cowboy who had just asked her a question, she replied, still in quite the mood. "Well, you know my name already...what more do you need?"
Mark Noxus put up a thoughtful look. On a second thought, she did not seem too happy to come into a green place where... loud... stuff was... sorta blasting at full volume. He did not even know if the music playing in the background was at full volume in the first place.
The cowboy shrugged, simply uttering "Well, I guess you have a point." He tossed aside his card, taking out another golden card. The cowboy read the question before looking up to face her.
"So... from what I could tell, you are quite a formidable kitsune when it comes to fighting. In fact, it's as if you don't have anything to fear! Is it a lie that you do have things you stray away from?"
Mizuki's mood improved from 100% enraged to 97% enraged when the cowboy described her as formidable. But, she had to wonder. Where are they getting this information in the first place?! Either way, it was obvious to her that they were trying to get more strategic answers from her. But, there are some things she couldn't hide.
Before she was even able to think to try to lie, she responded "dogs." extremely tersely. "That's it." None of them are dogs, so I think I'm safe, she thought.
Mark and Agent Smith actually seemed surprised to hear that she was fearful of... dogs... Then again, she was a kitsune. Agent Smith completely defeated the Candy Crush Saga in one minute, allowing him to unceremoniously throw aside his cellphone. It amusingly hit the "dead" Ganondorf.
"Well, there aren't any dogs here, that's for sure," the cowboy said, with a confident tone. Still, he had to wonder how this woman would react if a dog suddenly blipped into existence out of nowhere. He did not want to further aggravate the woman, however.
Agent Smith thought otherwise.
The Agent held Doge in his arms, which constantly made remarks like "such tails" and "much anger." With a monotone expression, Agent Smith asked the kitsune,
"Like this one?"
Mizuki had already bolted. She had somehow reached the audience in the time it took Agent Smith to get out Doge, and was standing behind them.
"Do you want to do this interview or not?" she hissed.
Agent Smith was about to stand up with Doge, though he sat back down when he deemed it unnecessary to stand up for such an arrogant, ungrateful girl. Doge barked, "much rude; very anger."
The Agent put down Doge, letting it walk to somewhere within the audience as he motioned for Mizuki to come back.
Mizuki walked back. She was, predictably, fuming.
"Why am I here?" she asked curtly.
Mark Noxus shrugged. He honestly did not know why the heck Noxonshaw's directors would even think about putting the setting at Green Hill Zone while bringing in a particularly angry kitsune in. She reminded him of... no one. That was a surprise for someone who traveled through galaxies.
"Well, the Noxonshaw," he said, thinking of why they would bring her in, "aims to interview as many interesting people as we can. And it's fairly harmless."
The Ardent Adventurer gave Agent Smith a nod, thanking him for putting away Doge. Agent Smith was playing Sonic Jump, which made the bounty hunter flip the Agent off behind his chair.
He took out anohther card, reading it.
"It is said that you are not exactly aligned to both evil and good. If that's so, can you tell us some reasons as to why you would not pick a side?"
Mizuki, surprisingly, calmed down a little bit. "That's fair," she said to the seemingly more reasonable cowboy's explanation.
She was still mildly livid, but nothing a Snickers bar couldn't fix.
Listening intently to his next question, she thought for a moment.
"Staying aligned with one side of the moral spectrum would prove...inefficient for my purposes," she explained. "Why only use half of a double-edged sword when you could use all of it?"
Mark nodded, as if he knew what she was talking about. Actually, he was fully aware of what she talked about. There were times when one simply should utilize both sides in a battle to gain a greater reward. It was not a good tactic, but it was admittedly a fast way of making money.
"Good point there, actually. You do get a disadvantage if you permanently become a part of one side in a battle. Better off using all than half, I suppose."
The cowboy decided to ask further in the same topic. "I want to ask you something: if there is a side that has a certain being that you are fond of, would you still stick to not picking sides?"
This time, Mizuki answered immediately. "I wouldn't know...that's never happened to me before. I've always fought alone...for various reasons."
Agent Smith glanced at Mark Noxus, who decided to moving on would be good for the kitsune's comfort. The last thing they needed was an extremely ticked off girl who would burn Green Hill Zone down. But they weren't concerned about the Zone- they were more worried that they would summon an unwanted figure in at the wrong time in the wrong place.
Mark nodded, taking out another golden card. "I presume that's why you would not befriend others?" The cowboy asked, preparing his next question after this one.
Mizuki responded matter-of-factly. "Friendship is as much of a commodity as anything else. While I do value friendship highly - believe it or not - my life journey has so far benefited more from not having any ties with anyone. If that changes, I will consider forming friendships again. Also...most potential friends are humans. I don't have the best history with humans."
Mark and Agent Smith laughed a little, though Agent Smith himself was laughing at Doge's reactions in watching Youtube videos. Mark Noxus crossed his arms for a moment, remembering a time when he had gotten along well with humans. It was a golden age for him. He understood what Mizuki meant, but...
You can't make friendship after isolation. You can call an alliance painted with "friendliness" friendship, but it never will be. Never can be.
The cowboy decided to add in his own input.
"Well, people are pretty hard to get along with. They backstab you, present false love, though I guess it's mainly because there are so many people who get away with crimes these days. Never really did trust a man myself... well, except for three people."
Mark thought of a certain trumpet player.
"...Maybe four."
He took out his golden card again, scanning it before a smile was plastered over his face.
"If you do not prefer dogs, what animals are you fond of?"
Mizuki was frankly jealous of the cowboy's number count for how many humans he trusted. Her counter was still at zero (parents not included). He looked like a human himself, but it seemed that he spoke like he wasn't. Curious.
Mizuki thought about his next question. "Animals which don't attack me," she responded simply. "Beyond that...I'm not picky. Animals are animals."
The cowboy thought about it. Now that he thought about it, nearly every single animal he was fond of were harmless ones. Then again, it seemed reasonable after getting chased by large, multi-eyed, rolling balls that were literally composed of disgusting reptilian skin and teeth.
"What about fellow foxes?" Mark asked, wondering about how Mizuki would feel about- technically- her own species.
"I do like foxes, now that you mention it," she said. "I can trust them. That's...better than most advanced species, if I'm honest."
Mark smiled. At least she was better at doing that than he did.
He then went through another card. Though, the cowboy began to feel uneasy. First things first, Megatron had not showed up yet. If he had succumbed to that god-forsaken theme song in the background, then it would be a huge problem for the entire show's safety. The Ardent Adventurer, however, did not exactly want to point that out.
He turned to Agent Smith, only to find that Agent Smith had turned to a new-face.
Mark Noxus paled.
A blue... thing... opened its mouth .
Agent Smith was blown off of his chair, flying through a three-hundred sixty degree running hoop, before he vanished from the naked eye. Mark Noxus blinked, reaching out for his gun, as he stared at the host that really should not have come out in this episode.
Sanic.
"So, uh," he whispered to Mizuki, slightly pulling her chair away from the hegehog, "I advise you not to get close to him here."
Mizuki was quite amused by Agent Smith's loop adventure. Turning to the cowboy after glancing at Sanic, she said simply, "It looks disgusting."
Sanic turned to Mizuki's direction. Mark was fully prepared to shoot if Sanic decided to go fast. Not that he even suspected he would catch him with a freaking gun, anyway. Because Sanic was 2fast4him.
"cum on step it up," the hegehog said to Ganondorf, causing the King of Evil to be blown into the skies. Ganondorf limply fell into an ocean.
Mark gulped. He fully suspected either he or Mizuki was next, but Agent Smith would probably come back to continue the show soon.
The cowboy pulled out his gun under a millisecond, firing eighteen bullets in three shots at the hegehog. As he suspected, Sanic was far too fast for him. Sanic literally took a sh-t on a dead bird, touched Ganondorf's floating body, went through the three-hundred sixty degree loop, and even drank one entire can of Coca Cola before coming back to his initial position.
Mark Noxus raised an eyebrow. Maybe he was definitely in for a ride, but having some fox fly alongside him would be trouble. So he decided to put his hopes on one final weapon.
Sanic bounced through the audience before going to the skies, penetrating the stratosphere as if it were made of silk. He went to space, through a star, and even a sun, before coming straight toward Mark Noxus, saying,
"ure2slo gottagofast"
Mark bolted up from his seat, yelling as he turned on a cellphone,
"I FOUND THE CUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It all happened too suddenly, for the ground blew up massively. In fact, the entire loop was destroyed by one huge explosion, and the rest of the ground around the loop was decimated by five more explosions. A metallic figure blew his way out, spiraling out of the ground as it fired rockets everywhere.
Megatron, the infamous leader of the Decepticons, roared at Mark Noxus,
"GIBE ME THE CUBE.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The cowboy nearly sh-t his pants, but still, he felt glad to see that hulking figure of massive "Michael Bay" before him. Megatron landed in the ocean and began to run towards the land as if he were being filmed in a crappy Machinima film.
Sanic appeared before Megatron, with his signature smile as he began spinning his feet, saying,
"CUM ON STEP IT UP."
Megatron got so angry, he decided to use one of his genuinely godly moves in the Transformers movies.
It was called "Dominate the First Half of the Movie."
The leader of the Decepticons fired three explosive shells at the hegehog before changing his weapon into a blade. Three godly explosions filled the air, and Sanic was already getting ready to destroy the mechanical robot.
But alas, Megatron winning the first half of the Michael Bay movie was a law. In fact, it was in effect due to the fact that Megatron was in top shape.
The Decepticon leader suddenly punched Sanic toward the ground with his unfair Michael Bay physics, firing seven explosive shells on Sanic. The hegehog did not say anything, for he had been (unfairly) beaten by a robot that could not even comprehend the difference between a Rubix Cube and "the Cube."
"gottagofast" Sanic said before running away. Of course, no one would be able to kill that son of a b-tch.
Mark smiled... before he paled.
Megatron was going straight toward him.
"GIBE ME THE CUBE.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"
The Ardent Adventurer wondered where he should run to... before realizing there really was no place to run. He held out a hand at Megatron, desperately yelling,
"WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!!!!!!"
Mark wondered if it would work like how Sam- that one useless human- did it. Unfortunately, Mark Noxus was too important to even gain extra time. The cowboy took out his gun once more.
But alas, the Autobots had their own ten commandments. One of them was "Megatron must be stopped at all costs."
Right in front of Mizuki, Optimus Prime destroyed the ground, flying toward Megatron before punching him in the face. Sparks and explosions erupted from the other side of Megatron's face, and when Megatron landed, an entire mountain had been destroyed. The Decepticon leader stood up as he stepped on a hill to the point where it got flattened.
"PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ALL-SPARK IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE, AND YOU WILL DIE ALONG WITH THESE FOOLISH CREATURES!!!!!!!!!"
Optimus Prime decided to randomly pop him some wise-a-s quote,
"Like us, there's more to them than meets the eye."
Megatron roared as he charged toward Prime, firing six explosive shells at Prime. All of them were dodged because Megatron automatically sucked balls at shooting guns whenever he fought Prime.
Optimus Prime punched Megatron, though the Decepticon also fired an explosive shell on Prime's face. The Autobot leader then fired a gun directly at Megatron's chest, though the Decepticon leader continuously fired explosive shells at Prime.
Suddenly, Sanic flew towards the two and smashed them into the air. The two Transformers were sent to the skies, constantly beating each other up as Sanic went to space. And beyond space. He's 2fast.
Agent Smith had recorded all of that, sitting on top of a decimated loop ring. He began to check how well it was recorded.
Mark sat on his chair, his breath completely out of him. Megatron and Sanic were just a pain in the a-s to deal with.
Mizuki had, of course, taken zero damage, due to the Michael Bay Law of the Girl and the Ganon/Noxonshaw Law of the Guest. However, she had quite enjoyed the interruption. She was actually smiling.
"That was the best part of the entire interview so far," she commented to the cowboy, who was completely breathless. When she became happy, she became mischievous. "So, any more questions?! You have more, right?!" she asked him quickly and in a higher voice than before. This was not her, but seeing him so completely drained necessitated action.
Mark Noxus raised an eyebrow at the kitsune's sudden change of... atittude. It was actually a change for the better, for once. The cowboy huffed out several more breathes, simply staring at the blue skies. He reached out for his headphones.
The man took them off, and much to his surprise, there was no theme playing. At this, all of the audience took their headphones off, pleasantly happy with the "movie" they just watched.
Mark looked over at Mizuki, staring at her as if she were a puppy lost in the wild.
He then grinned before laughing. He laughed just a little, though. Keeping his grin- though it had grown noticeably melancholy- he looked over at her again as he asked,
"Where did you learn to smile like that?"
Mizuki's smile faded and was replaced by a face of confusion. "Is this...a trick question?" she asked. "...Because if it is, I won't be happy," she said, her face turning back to its state of anger from before. However, it quickly rescinded back to a gentler expression. "It doesn't happen very often, does it?" she admitted.
The cowboy nodded. She looked far more prettier with a smile, though he was obviously no ladiesman to start asking women to smile for him. They smiled when they wanted to, just like he did.
"No tricks there," he admitted, taking a deep breath before sighing with a small smile. "It's just... a good thing. To be able to smile with everything you have. Not many people can do that, you know."
Mark Noxus decided to continue to hold a conversation until the portals opened up. Did he always need to talk with the guests? No, he did not, and he was recommended by the Agent that he should not. Getting attached to the guests would probably make him conflicted when he returned to his own world again. Then again, Noxus himself noticed that the Agent was quite fond of annoying Ganondorf. A vague form of fondness.
He asked Mizuki,
"Do people make you frown, usually?"
Mizuki looked at the cowboy intently, speaking very deliberately.
"I can smile," she said. "I've just had things done to me that make me not want to." Pausing, she added, "and frowning takes too much work. I settle for brooding. You should observe sometime - I'm a professional."
Mark nodded, hoping that there would be a chance to observe one day. Though, it seemed that the day would never come. After all, even in his own world, people he met tend to never appear in his life again. And some would die smiling, even though it was logically and emotionally impossible to do so.
"Friendship," Mark said, looking down at the ground, taking out a metal penchant, "would be impossible for you to make soon. You should keep that in mind."
He spun the penchant around absent-mindedly.
Mizuki looked at the cowboy, once again with a hard face. She had been reminded of things she didn't want to be reminded of, and was no longer in a smilling mood. "That's not a question," she stated simply. She looked away, trying to curb her thoughts. "And believe me...I know," she added without looking back at him. "You try having everything you love taken from you and still want to make friends with the people who did it," she said softly.
Mark nodded.
...before bursting out with a small laughter. It was short, however.
He stopped spinning the penchant, opening it with a swift click. The cowboy smiled warmly at the picture of him being next to his hospitalized sister.
"You know," the Ardent Adventurer said with a distant, but hopeful smile, "I was lying about that 'you can't get friendship' crap."
Mark closed the penchant, looking at the clear skies. Without the annoying loop ring, he could see that it was literally as clear as day.
"I've..." The cowboy said, his smile now only a small part of his face, "Before I made my first human friends, I've killed 12586 people. That's more than what my sister can count."
He paused for a brief moment before continuing,
"But I ended up smiling even after ending those lives. It's... terrible. I'm a truthfully sinful man. Yet, I met people who accepted my sinful nature. Humans. We formed a friendship between us. Something that made me smile again."
Mark twirled around his penchant once more. "We, in the end, have done something that justifies our circumstances. But belief kept me alive. Faith that made me believe that somewhere out there, someone not on the side of good or evil, but on my side."
The cowboy smiled at the thought of his sister waking up once more.
"Your lost belief in others is the key that can let you smile freely. Our faith is our belief, and both of them lead up to the brightest smile you can ever manage to make. Before you trust in others, trust their faith."
Mizuki sat, listening to the cowboy give a glimpse into his own troubled life. Her eyes got wider when he listed his kill count. I don't value life, she thought, but that's a lot of lives. She sat silent for a long time after he finished.
"I've never met a human that didn't push me away...even the police who found me just kicked me back out on the street. My whole life I've been on my own, oppressed by humans. And I'm mean because I have to be. I'm a malevolent fox spirit. I'm not supposed to be nice...to anyone. How you saw me when I first arrived in this awful green whatever it is is more like how I usually am. But...hearing your story tells me it's possible there's hope. For me, it's the conclusion of my lifelong quest. I've got a lot of time left to accomplish it in," she said. "But for me, that quest involves an overlooking of life. If I killed as many people as you have, I wouldn't be ashamed. It's not in my nature. Hopefully I don't have to kill that many to reach my goal," she finished.
The Ardent Adventurer grinned. He hoped that she would not kill 12586 people just to meet people truly willing to accept her. She might be lucky, actually. Maybe she would be gifted with a world where she could laugh faster than he was.
Four portals opened, and Mark Noxus simply snorted at their appearances. He looked over at Mizuki before roughly rubbing her head.
"And I trust you'll keep your word."
The cowboy stood up, stretching his back as he began to walk toward the portal. Today seemed fun. Except for Sanic. That dude really scared him...
Agent Smith seemed happy with his video, as he brought all of the Agents together to watch it as they left. Ganondorf's body was carried out by the Stalfos.
Mizuki was relieved to see a portal open for her...though, with the progression of the "interview" or whatever it had become, it was pretty predictable.
Walking behind the cowboy as he walked towards his portal, she soon reached hers. "I always keep my word," she responded to him as she stopped in front of her portal. "And thanks," she said, immediately turning and walking through her portal.
For though it was an extremely odd experience that ended on a hopeful note, and the most sincere words that had been said to her in a long time, Mizuki hoped she never had to experience it again.
Mainly because of Sanic.
Mark smirked as he entered his portal.
Next episode: S1E3: The Wall