Noxonshaw S1E3: The Wall

Main article: Noxonshaw

Previous episode: S1E2: Fox-Fire Zone!

Location: Chicago

Hosts: Mark Noxus, Ganondorf, Agent Smith, Megatron

Featured Guest: Katherine "Kathy" Argall

Other Appearances: Doge, Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Nemesis Darkheart

Ganondorf stared at his Nintendo 3DS, wondering why he was killing himself with Link, the Hero of Time. Meanwhile, Mark Noxus simply stared through his golden cards. The hosts were currently located in... a completely destroyed version of Chicago. Now, the scenery was not exactly beautiful here due to the fact that Transformers were fighting each other here. There were so many explosions, literally everyone got used to them. The Ardent Adventurer himself had a blast watching the same Transformer shoot a gun and cause multiple explosions... over and over again.

Agent Smith rubbed his Doge's head, causing the Doge to go, "such good, very joy." The Agent's monotone expression remained the same.

Ganondorf asked Mark Noxus, "How much till the show begins?"

".....Uh," the cowboy looked at somewhere before answering, "ten seconds."








...And thus, the show began.

The audience composed of Stalfos, Iron Knuckles, and Agents all cheered as the show began. Ganondorf simply waved at the camera, attempting to look bada-s, only to be cut off by a screen fade directed toward Agent Smith's Doge.

"Welcome, everyone, to Noxonshaw's third episode," Ganondorf said, crossing his arms with a smirk. "Now, this time, we're here at... Chicago. Home of that one giant-a-s battle for those Transformers. And you know, so far, the scenery ain't that bad here."

Far, far away, a jet fighter transformed into a Decepticon, only to get blown up because Michael Bay.

"Hosts, what do you think of Chicago, right now?" Ganondorf asked Mark Noxus and Agent Smith.

Agent Smith bluntly told him with a monotone voice, "I think it's sh-t."

"I think it's really sh-t." Mark said, going over his cards before looking at Ganondorf again.

The King of Evil shrugged before looking directly at the Roleplayer Guild screen, wiggling his eyebrows. "Today, we've got yet another guest that shall join us immediately within the battle to save planet Earth! Everyone, please welcome Katherine Argall on the stage!!!"

A chair sat next to the three hosts. The guest would blip into existence on it, just like any other guest had so far.

Kathy blinked, suddenly finding herself in another strange environment without any warning. By the third time she was growing quite used to these strange transitions. Sighing, she immediately looked at the 3 hosts and asked, "And..? What is it this time?"

Mark Noxus, leader of the Ardent Adventurers, hoped that the woman would not react like Mizuki had. As he prepared his cards, he told Kathy,

"Well... I'm sure Ganondorf has interviewed you once, but this time, all three of us would like to ask questions. And I honestly hope we do before something obviously explosive happens."

Agent Smith nodded, simply staring at Kathy through his sunglasses. Doge barked like a regular doge.

They were all glad Sanic was not here yet.

"Hm... An interview's better than another fight I supposed." She murmured to herself. Kathy sat down in the chair beside her and crossed one leg over the other with her hands in her lap. "Oh, one thing." She glanced over at Ganondorf as she smiled with a hint of mischievousness in her eyes, "I get to say, 'Personal Information' if a question makes me uncomfortable."

Ganondorf grumbled.

With that gotten over with, Mark handed one of the cards to Agent Smith, who stared at the card as if it was an alien. After reading its contents, the Agent asked Kathy,

"So... other than walking on walls, what do you enjoy doing?"

The Agent literally thought Kathy liked the ability to walk on walls, not just simply have it. No one wanted to point that out, though, since he asked a decent question for once.

Kathy was pleasantly surprised to be asked a decent question. Before answering she commented, "I think you should continue to be the host or... Whatever this all is. You seem to do a much better job than that one over there." Again, she glanced over at Ganondorf, leaving no mystery as to who she was comparing Agent Smith to.

Mark whispered to Ganondorf, "Just what kinds of questions did you ask to make her say that?"


After a small thoughtful sound she answered, "I like cooking and baking. Between studying and the like I don't actually have too much free time but... Oh! I really enjoy sports in general as well."

Agent Smith nodded, throwing aside the golden card because he did not know what to do with it.

He then motioned for Mark Noxus to bring in another question. So far, nothing about this girl really ticked him off aside from the fact that she could cook. Smith sucked at making cookies.

He read out from another card,

"Fashion's a pretty important thing to consider among women, or so this card says," Agent Smith said with his monotone voice, as if he were pondering about what the heck 'fashion' even was in the first place. "What do you tend to wear in the four weather seasons?"

Giving a sheepish smile, Kathy ran her fingers through her rust-red hair and laughed, "I'm actually not too good with that sort of thing... Fashion or make-up." There was another small pause as she thought about the kind of clothes she wore.

"All four seasons? I feel like that'd take a long time to answer for most people." Shrugging she continued, "But let's see... I actually just wear similar things throughout most seasons. A t-shirt or tank top, along with a pair of jeans or plain pants. In the summer I might wear shorts, and in the winter I'd have a jacket and scarf on me as well."

Smith nodded again. "Well, some people don't exactly prefer wearing the most flashy of things. People like me just wear suits... little variety, but it suits our tastes."

Kathy silently thought to herself, I hope that still means you change clothes...

Suddenly, Ganondorf found himself carrying a golden card... with a Triforce symbol on it. The King of Evil raised an eyebrow at the question, as if he were disappointed, before he asked Kathy absent-mindedly,

"Pepsi or Coke?"

"Er... Coke?" Kathy tilted her head slightly to the side as she answered. She didn't drink much carbonated beverages but figured she probably drank Coke more often than Pepsi.


Ganondorf took another card and read through it.

He looked up at Kathy, then at the card again.

Should be interesting.

The King of Evil asked the girl,

"How do you see 'love at first sight' as a concept?"

She made a slight frown and answered, "Wishful thinking mostly? Seems like the sort of situation that only comes up in fiction."

Ganondorf nodded, simply tossing aside his card, allowing Mark to take over. Now, the cowboy had been going through what question would actually be worth asking without making her feel uncomfortable. The Ardent Adventurer put up a thoughtful look before asking her,

"What do you want to be in the near future?"

"The future..?" Kathy frowned again. "I just want things to continue on as they are now, so I'd be fine just being 'me' in the near future as well." She nodded to herself, apparently satisfied with her own answer.

Mark nodded. She did not seem to have the desire to answer the particular question, so he decided to sort of skip over it. The cowboy looked down at a new card he chose before looking up at her.

"Is there a particular place you would like to visit any time in your life?"

This time Kathy laughed and answered, "To be honest I don't really think there's any place I can't visit if I want to. My family used to travel a lot before I came to Athalia. If there was any place I wanted to go to in my life, I feel like I've already been there or would easily have a chance to visit sometime in the future."

The Ardent Adventurer grinned, commenting, "You've been quite an adventurer yourself, I see. That's a good blessing you've got there."

Mark decided to go through some more questions, so he took out a card and-

Suddenly, five explosions erupted out of a building behind the hosts. Everyone turned to see the building crashing down into another building, which proceeded to blow up magnificently as well. Six explosions erupted from the ground, and five rockets hit what appeared to be a huge building.

Ganondorf simply rolled his eyes, moving away from his seat, retreating toward the audience.

Agent Smith began recording yet another grand battle that scaled upon epic proportions.

Mark Noxus was thankful he did not mention the Cube at all this time.

Megatron burst out of two buildings, roaring,

"I am... Megatron."

The Decepticon swung a blade, chopping down a building, causing it to tumble upon so many more. He then loaded his gun, destroy twenty-six buildings with a few explosive shells. Megatron laughed as humans began to run like idiots.

"Today, I shall take the Cuuuuuuuuube."

Ganondorf simply muttered "Oh God" as he pretended not to know who Megatron was. And yet again, a Stalfos had stood up, screaming an obligatory Transformers 4 quote,


Megatron decimated even more buildings because Michael Bay. He fired loads and loads of explosive shells, dominating the first half of the movie like always. With a devilish grin, he proceeded to walk towards the hosts.

"The last time I met you all, one of you had the Cube. Where... is it...?"

Everyone looked away from Mark Noxus.


Mark decided to shout,


And thus, Bumblebee came out because he had the same freaking "Main Character" syndrome like Optimus Prime. The yellow Transformer fired a bunch of heavy lead at the Decepticon leader, who blew up like no tomorrow. Megatron fell on his knees, looking up at the skies.

Optimus Prime had arrived.

In slow motion, he jumped over everyone- the audience, the hosts, and even the guest. The camera looked up at him nearby a passerby woman, who simply screamed in slow-motion at how close Optimus Prime was from crushing her. But the heroic Autobot left her all dandy and a-okay, because f--k accidents while filming, right?

"Megatron!" The Autobot leader yelled. "This is our third consecutive fight in this blasted show!"

"PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Megatron yelled, immediately forgetting about getting the Cube because he hated Prime that much. "You shall die along with these foolish humans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Optimus Prime's mask covered the Autobot's face. Prime wisely pulled out a quote from his butt,

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

Megatron and Prime clashed against each other, fighting and thrashing about. The Decepticon headbutted Prime, though the Autobot leader quickly recovered by doing one painful flip kick. Sparks flew out of Megatron's chin as if Jesus would come out of it at any given moment.

The Decepticon then proceeded to fire three explosive shells at Prime, but at last, he sucked balls at shooting whenever he fought Prime. The Autobot deflected two of the shells before dodging the third, spiraling toward Megatron as he leapt.

Megatron, right when he was stabbed my Optimus Prime with a short blade, activated his jetpack. He flew towards the skies as the two Transformers punched each other like crazy.

"Submit to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Prime roared heroically,


The two flew off to some random place in space, where they would settle things once and for all...

...again. (lol)

The audience clapped, happy with the explosive action they just witnessed. Agent Smith had stopped recording the fight, and was now going over yet another battle the Matrix shall hail. Ganondorf was playing with his 3DS again, not caring about what happened anymore.

With the entire event ended, Mark Noxus took off his 3D glasses, simply sighing in relief.

"At least our show ends at the right time," he muttered, taking out several golden cards again. It would take some time for the portals to pop up, so he decided to wait for a while, scrimming through the questions as he recalled what was asked in the interview.

When the first explosions began, Kathy reflexively covered her ears and looked around to see what was going on. "?!!" Watching the city fall down into ruins nearby with gigantic robots fighting, she was almost sure that the interview would end so she waited for the cue that would let her leave and put the whole strange incident behind her again.

Only it never came. "Um..." Looking at Mark, who had the cards out, she asked, "Are you actually planning to ask more questions despite all this mess around us?"

The cowboy glanced at Kathy, distantly shuffling the cards.

"May I?" He asked, quieter than when the Noxonshaw was being broadcasted. "The portals take some time to get here, anyway."

Kathy nodded. "Sure. As long as the red-haired one is not the one asking the last few questions."

Mark smiled, looking back at his cards. The show needed to update them soon, for nearly all of the questions had been used.

The Ardent Adventurer knew that the guest before him suffered something similar to one of the other guests he interviewed. Friendship: it seemed far more undervalued to humans than it did to him. After all, humans never did pose threats to him because of their power- their lack of belief in others, along with their stuck-up pride, always created something terrible for those that did believe.

He did not want to repeat what he discussed with Mizuki, however. Mark was also fully aware that Kathy had a potential man who could become more than a friend to her someday. He grinned, finding it ironic at how these humans did things he could not do, despite the fact that they committed an equal amount of sins as his race did.

...Well, then again, not everyone killed 12586 people to make friends, right? Just like he had...

Mark put away his cards, thinking about what to talk. The girl had a background of having overprotective parents, who constantly pestered her not to make friends out of all things. A life of solitude.

The cowboy, after staring at nothing for several seconds, asked Kathy without turning to her, "Do you believe in freedom?"

"..." For a moment Kathy just blinked at him. "... Probably." She finally answered, not looking all too convinced at her own statement. She put on a faint smile and ended her answer off there.

Mark nodded, turning to give her a somewhat approving smile before looking back at nothing in particular.

"I really can't say anything about your circumstances with authority," he said, reminiscing some memories that he did not mind reliving. "After all, I've never been alienated from others because of my parents."

Kathy stiffened at his comment. At this point she didn't really think to question how the man even know about it but... "It's something that couldn't be helped." She muttered under her breath.

The man took out his penchant. He just felt safe with it: it reminded him of what his goal was, in the end. Twirling it around, he simply stared at the pretty little thing.

"We cannot change such circumstances by ourselves," he said, remembering how he learned when freedom came. "We can let others free us from the bindings of our own limits, but only a select few can do that."

Mark opened the penchant again, staring at the image of his sister remaining still on the hospital bed. He blinked, continuing,

"But chances are, you're not the only one who's been isolated from your own kind."

"I know of many people who have been cast aside by their own kind. Humans... elves... even some dwarfs, now that I think about it. They, unlike me, had something that allowed them to have more freedom than I did. At your age, I had little freedom."

The cowboy found it ironic that the answer behind freedom had already been said once, though in a pretty humorous way. He turned to Kathy.

"Sometimes, it's just a matter of connections and your own feelings."

"Hmm..." Kathy's jaw tightened a bit as Mark began his own reminiscence, but she maintained a faint smile on her face despite her discomfort. "If you're going to wait for someone to break you out, I'm not sure you have the right to even wish for freedom though." She sighed, almost regretting it the instant the words left her lips.

... Unfortunately, it was impossible to take back something that was already said. She hadn't been blessed with any sort of ability to erase memory or travel back in time after all.

Then hearing something about Mark himself she asked, "Really? What happened to you during your teenage years?"

Running her fingers through her hair again she replied back, "Connections and feelings... Please don't tell me you're going to give me some cliched advice like, 'rely on your friends' or 'if you try hard enough you can solve your problems'?"

Mark laughed, snickering a little. He raised his head with a smirk on his face, eying an Autobot that watched over a battle that had apparently ended.

"Advice itself is cliche, dear," the Ardent Adventurer said with a confident grin. "Every bit of it made my own naivety punish me. It also made me learn some cool stuff, I guess."

The cowboy put himself in a comfortable position, deciding to answer Kathy's question about him as smoothly as possible.

"My brother... well, he charged me for some random crime I didn't do. I did lots of crimes, but never did specialize in kidnapping, I think. He wanted my head, and my mother tried to shoot me when I came to see if she was alright from the fiasco. Dad killed her and my brother. Up to this day, I can't understand why I feel like it's just a scene from some 'cliche' movie."

He looked away from the Autobot, looking at his penchant again.

"But you can never gain your freedom by not trying hard enough. You can never make friends if you can't even rely on them. What's the point about starting friendship if you can't even feel others' feelings?"

Mark put away the treasure he had, simply crossing his arms as he watched Ganondorf kick a Stalfos for playing with an Xbox.

"We have feelings. We all do. We do not need to accept others' feelings, but we will not gain anything out of it."

Noxus cracked one of his knuckles, simply staring at the ground.

"Your feelings are your freedom. Feeling is your freedom. You need to feel faith to even begin belief, and you need to feel happy when you feel free. Freedom can seem like an impossible thing, and it can feel like an eternity to have friends without getting pressure from your parents."

"I cannot help you get what you want. I'm just a hunter who's about to go on an inexorable mission against one of my strongest rivals. I can tell you that feelings can achieve a lot more than you think they can, especially if they motivate you to press on."

Mark simply concluded,

"When failure starts to feel normal in your life, or your work, or even your darkest vices, you won't have to go looking for trouble, because trouble will find you. Count on it."

Kathy listened silently as the cowboy summed up some rather extreme-sounding events of his life. "Say... After all that, what do you think about your family? Do you love them still? Hate them? Don't know what to think about them anymore?"

Then laughing she told him, "I'm honestly fine if my friends just rely on me. To be honest, compared to a lot of people in the academy it's not like I've really had a tragic past or the like." Kathy shrugged her shoulders, seeming to recall what others had told her about their life. "... Compared to them, I barely even have a right to complain about anything. So I'm fine with just helping them. I don't need anything else except to talk and have fun with my friends."

"Hmm, unfortunately I don't believe in Disney-cliches like 'love at first sight', 'pre-destined happy endings', or 'feelings getting through everything.'" Seeming to realize something, she then quickly waved her hand and added, "Oh, that's not to say I don't think people can't become happy with their own efforts. Don't get me wrong about that. Just... Sometimes things happen without a real reason right? And it's not like you need to achieve all your goals in life to be able to become happy..."

Kathy tilted her head to the side at Mark's conclusion. "You and that red-haired interviewer... Are you both trying to tell me that something's going to happen at the academy again..?"

Mark thought about his family before he shrugged.

"In the end, I'm the one who killed them. But until that very end, I loved them. I guess I love them too much, these days. My sister is everything that's left. My dream's to get enough money to get her some nice treatment and let her live an exciting life. Couldn't say I'm the best Monopoly player, though. Poverty's a pain in the a-s when you're trying to save someone."

The bounty hunter nodded at most of what she said... before he nearly burst out laughing at the last part. He calmed down pretty quickly, ending his sudden urge to laugh with a few chuckles.

"Oh, I ain't saying somethin' bad's gonna happen. I'm just wanting to know more about ya, that's all."

Mark crossed his arms, giving Kathy an amused, yet happy look. He then decided to give her forehead a light flick, standing up from his chair.

"For some reason, I'm getting a feeling yer gonna get that pre-destined happy ending."

Four portals soon formed, and everyone began to leave again. The Agents were still excited about how many Transformers battles they recorded, and Ganondorf still did not feel used to Megatron in any way at all. Mark grinned: he would immediately face one of his rivals as soon as he entered the portal.

As he began to walk toward the portal, Mark lazily snapped his fingers to catch Kathy's attention.

"If you come back, you better tell me how your relationship with that red-haired shapeshifter's going! A little bit of love could make my day, anyway."

"... You shouldn't have killed them if you loved them." Kathy muttered, knowing full well it was too late to say that sort of thing after the fact. But it was nice to hear he still had someone left. "Really? Then I hope for all the best for you and your sister then."

Receiving a flick to her forehead she yelped, "Ow!" To be honest it hadn't really hurt, and the cry was more out of reflex than anything. Rubbing her forehead, she looked at Mark with a small pout on her face. "Are you trying to treat me like a little child..? You don't seem that much older than me you know."

'Red-haired shapeshifter..?!' Code-red activated for the first time since the interview began as blood began to rush up into Kathy's cheeks. "I-I don't need to tell you anything..!" She stammered out, not noticing that she had failed to actually deny anything the man had said.

Mark smiled, simply waving her off. A girl like her just needed a little more happiness. If she learned how to turn the light on in the dark, she would be able to find her joy in even the scariest places.

A happy ending. Just like a fairy tale, he supposed.

The cowboy entered the portal, returning to his world.

Seeing Mark leave, Kathy took that as the end of the interview. She got up from the chair and began to head out of the room, but before that... "Hmph." She stopped and stuck out the tip of her tongue at Ganondorf. Apparently still feeling quite sour about the last interview and fight she had, or rather, his involvement in the two.

That actually wasn't too bad, she thought. Humming lightly under her breath, she left.


An armored soldier burst through the large doors, tumbling over before making a run for it. Through the smoke that came from the destruction of the mothership he had just entered, Mark Noxus entered the large room. He carried a white katana in his hand, simply asking out loud,

"What's this? I thought the Y-Destroyer had your elite men it it, Nemesis."

A man sat still on his grand, mechanical throne. His left eye covered by a metal plate, with a blood-red eye seemingly empty, yet solid, the man known as "Nemesis Darkheart" awaited for Mark's rather unceremonious entrance. Mark and his team had just broken into one of the most powerful ships in existence.

Enhanced by much of the ever-growing technology within his body, Nemesis stood up, his moderately long hair covering the massive scar across the back of his neck. He reached out for his head...

...before grabbing the metal plate. After tugging it twice, he tore the eyeplate off, letting the handle of a plasma sword slowly come out of the empty eyehole. Nemesis caught the handle, tearing out the sword of his face... literally.

The plasma blade he took out was ten meters by length and two meters by width, and it was surrounded by a massive mix of technology, angelic, and demonic energy. Grinning at the Arden Adventurer, he simply spoke with authority,

"You come for a strange purpose."

Mark blinked before shrugging.

"...Uh, no sh-t. Not everyone tries to fulfill bounties on others for their sisters, right?"

Wings of fire shot out of Nemesis' back, and energy began to crackle across his entire body. Taking several steps towards Mark, he asked the cowboy,

"Do you truly believe risking your life to get a bounty off of me pays off for taking of some sister of yours?"

The cowboy thought about it. Was it truly worth it? Maybe he just needed a little bit of help from others? A quick donation to his cause would obviously let him have a rest.

Mark Noxus froze when certain words echoed across his head.

If you're going to wait for someone to break you out, I'm not sure you have the right to even wish for freedom though.

The cowboy thought about it. Then he thought about Nemesis' words.

Mark Noxus raised his katana, grinning with extreme confidence as he answered,

"Hell yes."

Next episode: S1E4: Ackbar Approves

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