Potiphar's Bizarre Adventures is the name of an entertainment show created by NarayanK that is so non-canon that it might as well not be in the same universe. (See also: 420 Academy) Its main protagonist is Potiphar, a man who smokes weed every day. The series is as high as Potiphar is.
Episode 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111: Fist of the NORTH POT[]
Potiphar was the biggest smoker in Smokeville, and everyone freaking knew it. Long ago, the greatest weed smoker was able to smoke weed through his nostrils.
But Potiphar was different. Because Potiphar was able to smoke through his EARS.
Yes, he was gifted. His father, Cocaniphar, was able to smoke weed through his ass, but not his ears. His mother was able to smoke weed through her eyes but it looked so damn disgusting she always looked like Michael Bolton's long lost fetus brother whenever she smoked weed. She looked hot as hell when she wasn't smoking weed.
Which didn't make any sense. People were most beautiful when they went 420, so why did she not become sexy as living hell??
But anyway, back at Smokeville.
Potiphar was working hard smoking weed when suddenly he found his dog lying on the ground in the middle of his house.
"Doge?" Potiphar muttered as he went over to Doge. "Doge, why are you..."
He checked Doge's pulse.
Doge was dead.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111114201111111111"
Potiphar suddenly turned his life into a John Wick movie as he got up from the floor. He would get revenge on Doge. His mind set on revenge, he left his house.
The first person he came across in his journey was Ecstasiphar, the killer of Doge. "I killed Doge," he said. "Much kills."
"WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?!" Potiphar smoked weed as hard as he good as his ears began to pour out nicotine.
"I KILLED HIM FOR THE XBOX GAMER POINTS, POTTY," Ecstasiphar proclaimed. "AND YOU CAN'T SMOKE JACK SHIT."
"THE F-"
Angered beyond belief, Potiphar smoked weed as hard as he could and TRANSFORMED INTO A GIANT ARMADILLO AND ROLLED OVER THE PUSSY-ASS ECSTASIPHAR LIKE THE FOOLISH MORTAL HE WAS AND HIS ROLLING WAS SO FAST IT EXCEEDED 420 LIGHTSPEEDS AND MADE SANIC SAY "HOLY SHIT" AND FUYEIASFHFHFHFHFHSNVIOSGHBNIESWUFJ-
"I-I have been defeated," Ecstasiphar whispered.
"No shit," Potiphar said as he kicked Ecstasiphar to the planet of the apes.
"I still haven't avenged Doge completely yet," Potiphar thought to himself out loud as he readjusted his weed. "It's time to become the best at smoking and go high once and for all!"
And thus, Potiphar began his journey in becoming the best at smoking, going high, and avenging Doge, who was already avenged once.
-To be continUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED?????????????????????????????????????????? WAIT THERE'S A SNEAK PEEK!!!!1-
Sneak Peek of Episode @
"Who are you?!" Potiphar smoked as he pretended to be Naruto. "How are you so strong?!"
"Hue hue hue. Potiphar you fool. It is I- BOOTIPHAR!"
Bootiphar smacked his ass to the rhythm of Uptown Funk as he screamed, "CAN YOU HANDLE MY LITERALLY SMOKING ASS?!" Bootiphar roared as he smoked out of his butt.
Potiphar snickered as he took out ten packs of cigarettes.
"BRING IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAUGHHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD-"
-Sneak Peek End-
Episode @: AZUAH DLAKE[]
Potiphar screamed as he ran into Cocatropolis, his pitch reaching that of a bat's. As he skidded to a stop in front of the weedapolis, the man hardened his face and balls as he raised the bottom of his lip against his other lip.
"So this is Nokia's secret hideout," he muttered. "I knew they weren't dead just yet."
All of a sudden, the entire city's buildings turned to him.
"NUH-NAHNEE?!?!?!1?" Potiphar whispered to his imaginary friend as the buildings turned each other before turning to Potiphar again.
The buildings turned to each other, wondering what to do with the drug addict.
They decided to fight Potiphar.
"Yo moth'fuhcka," the skyscraper said as it approached the druggy with a voice deeper than Marilyn Manson's fifth husband. "Git yo pusi here."
"If you want lotsa pusi you're gonna have to try HARDER THAN THAT!!!!!!!!!!!" Potiphar screamed as he turned away from them before falling backwards, landing headfirst as he made a human bridge out of himself.
"WHAT IS THIS-"
Before the building was able to say anything, Potiphar farted and flew straight towards the skyscraper. The drug addict punched the skyscraper straight across the 50000th window as it fell on its back(???).
"AW SHIET, I'M... I'M A GONER..." The skyscraper whispered before exploding.
"PAPA JOHNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!" The twin towers screamed before charging towards Potiphar.
Unfortunately, we were unable to capture their deaths because it was too sensitive for a certain country, so here, have Potiphar blowing up Apophis instead.
"Wait what the fu-"
Potiphar knocked the Deity of Chaos into the skies as he screamed like a little girl.
"NO! HE GOT DA TWINZ!" The Dubai building screamed in horror before taking out a katana. "YOU'LL PAY FO' THIS!"
But he didn't. He bodied the Dubai building just as he did to the skyscraper.
"Week-lingz," Potiphar said with a smirk as he went into Cocatropolis.
...But then he realized he just defeated Cocatropolis.
"Oh shit."
Potiphar, confused as to what he should do, consulted to his weed. They told him to go to the North Pole.
-.-.-.-.-
Potiphar walked down the North Pole.
When suddenly, a large guy came out of the ground as he knocked Potiphar away like a bowling pin filled with cotton.
"Who are you?!" Potiphar smoked as he pretended to be Naruto. "How are you so strong?!"
"Hue hue hue. Potiphar you fool. It is I- BOOTIPHAR!"
Bootiphar smacked his ass to the rhythm of Uptown Funk as he screamed, "CAN YOU HANDLE MY LITERALLY SMOKING ASS?!" Bootiphar roared as he smoked out of his butt.
Potiphar snickered as he took out ten packs of cigarettes.
"BRING IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAUGHHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD-"
And Potiphar transformed, his body being enveloped by nicotine and cocaine. Light shone out of his drug-ass body as Bootiphar covered his eyes just from the sheer intensity of the light.
"W-WOT DA FOC?!"
"NO HABLO ESPANOL," POTIPHAR SCREAMED AS HE FUCKING KICKED BOOTIPHAR'S BOOTY SO HARD HE BECAME SPONSORED BY REDTUBE.
And thus, Bootiphar exploded.
"You were too sober," Potiphar smirked as he took a deep breath... from his weed. But now that he took a closer look, the area where Bootiphar blew up at was practically filled with cocaine powder!
"HohhhhhhhhhhOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOYUFWEHJ'GFUEEIS\WEUINWIUEAHJFYUIWEHNVIKLSDAJFCVM,IASJ DGHKBNWEAIUJFK`5QHESIOCNRUJFWHERUSKVGBASFISEUNHVBYUIASGHKZRIFCKSEVNZUHJVDBS'ZJIOEUSFAGHB JESAGHKZVNBUIHESJZBEDOIUEYASFBFHJDERUIEZHWNDESHJBRF WYUASGH\VIX-EUSLJDN FGHBN78UISN,DJHGBNESWIRUOFDNEtheend.
-.-.-.-.-
Sneak Peek Episode @.5
-.-.-.-.-
Potiphar clutched his chest as he fell on his knees. "W-What?!" He whispered.
"Where did my weed go?!"
No matter how much he searched, no weed was to be found. He had to find a dealer as soon as possible!
"NO! I-I CAN FEEL THE SOBERNESS GETTING TO ME!"
"HA HA HA! DO YOU FEEL IT, POTIPHAR?!"
Potiphar turned to a figure who appeared behind him.
"IT IS I, TYRANNAPH-"
Potiphar killed him and stole his coke. He felt better.
-.-.-.-.-
Sneak Peek End
Episode @.5: Tyrannaph-[]
Potiphar grinned.
"STOP GRINNING," someone screamed as he got hit by a pair of earphones. The earphones hit him so hard, it made him feel bad.
"What?!"
Thrusting his hips forward, Potty looked up and saw a big bird floating on top of the sun staring down at him with a tower on his flappy feet.
"Gimme that good shit," Big Bird said, flapping his arms as if they were wings as he hopped up and down. "Gimme-"
"No."
Potiphar fired a Spartan Laser at Big Bird and went back to kushing the hell out.
"YOU KILLED BIRDIE PUTT?!!!!!!1!" A voice screamed as it approached Potiphamorous Rex like a missile launched by the United States. "WELL I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A BOGEY."
"HmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
Potiphar was blown away by an explosion of cocaine.
Potiphar clutched his chest as he fell on his knees. "W-What?!" He whispered.
"Where did my weed go?!"
No matter how much he searched, no weed was to be found. He had to find a dealer as soon as possible!
"NO! I-I CAN FEEL THE SOBERNESS GETTING TO ME!"
"HA HA HA! DO YOU FEEL IT, POTIPHAR?!"
Potiphar turned to a figure who appeared behind him.
"IT IS I, TYRANNAPH-"
Potiphar killed him and stole his coke. He felt better.
Tyrannaph- lay still, twitching as if he were about to die. And then he died.
"TYRANNAPH- NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Another voice screamed.
Potiphar fired another Spartan Laser at the voice. It belonged to a jet and crashed into two stone pillars.
"But the question is," Potiphar asked himself as he realized how the meaning of life applied to the equation of 'division by zero,' "does jet fuel melt cocaine???????"
And so Potiphar stood up to avenge his brother at a later time to discover if jet fuel can melt cocaine but when it didn't he just sort of returned to going high on drugs and became Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump at the same time for a very split moment because they were both kind of bad like any other pres-cand.
Everyone sucked.
Weed.
-.-.-.-.-.-
SNKPK EP $
-.-.-.-.-.-
"My name is Joe, and I have-"
Right before Joe explained who he was, the channel flipped to another channel, angering Potiphar. "What is this," he seethed. "A... A NEWS channel?"
It was.
"So since everyone kind of got rekt at the White House," a news reporter who looked mysteriously like Potiphar said, "a new man has risen from the trendy world of hip-hop, which is the equivalent of weed in the music industry. Say hello to Soulja Boy."
The screen transitioned to Soulja Boy, who rode a sea of hands. And there were only hands.
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
The screen transitioned back to the news reporter.
"He holds the future to our country. Say your prayers, Andross."
And the television blew up. Potiphar screamed as he felt something other than weed make him go high.
In the air.
-.-.-.-.-.-
END
Episode $: MySpace Conspiracy X-File[]
"My name is Joe, and I have-"
Right before Joe explained who he was, the channel flipped to another channel, angering Potiphar. "What is this," he seethed. "A... A NEWS channel?"
It was.
"So since everyone kind of got rekt at the White House," a news reporter who looked mysteriously like Potiphar said, "a new man has risen from the trendy world of hip-hop, which is the equivalent of weed in the music industry. Say hello to Soulja Boy."
The screen transitioned to Soulja Boy, who rode a sea of hands. And there were only hands.
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
The screen transitioned back to the news reporter.
"He holds the future to our country. Say your prayers, Andross."
And the television blew up. Potiphar screamed as he felt something other than weed make him go high.
In the air.
-.-.-.-.-
"dufuq," Potiphar spoke eloquently as he walked up to the White House, which was now the Weed House. Mysteriously shaped bushes littered the beautifully high yards of the place. The dog was high, the guards were high, and the House was on fire.
Things were looking fancy.
"Sh-Shit," Potiphar muttered as he smacked his ass to check his back pockets for weed. He had some left in his back pockets.
"Time to go consult Soul Joy Fuck Boi to get outta the president's seat," Pot Vader said as he rolled through the gates of the Weed House. A bunch of crack-addicts tried to stop him but they were way too high to do anything and fell on their faces.
But something was wrong. There was clearly weed all over the place but they did not smell like weed. No, they smelled like... LIKE!!!
"CINNAMON!" Potiphar screamed in horror. "THESE ARE CINNAMONS IN DISGUISE!"
It wasn't cinnamon.
Potiphar flipped and leapt up to a gigantic window that said "Crash through me plz", crashing into the president's office as he stood on his head, his feet touching his back as he faced Soulja Boy.
"Ey."
"Ye."
The two got up and punched each other across their faces.
"Ey?"
"Ye."
The two kicked each other's nuts.
"EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????"
Potiphar punched Soulja Boy's family jewels as he screamed "LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." But he responded to the wrong shit so Soulja Boy pasted a bunch of sticky dollars on his head before headbutting Potiphar, causing an explosion to erupt between them.
"I DIDN'T SAY AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-"
Potiphar punched Soulja Boy in the same area as he screamed "LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
Soulja Boy turned into a bowl of water.
Picking up the bowl, Potiphar took out the weed in his back pockets and stuffed it into the bowl and went to the Weed House's kitchen, putting everything into a blender. Some dude who worked as a janitor walked and saw Potiphar.
"Ey," Potiphar asked. "Wanna be a part of this?"
The janitor dropped his shit and gave a thumbs up to Potiphar. "Aw, h-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH-ll yeah."
Potiphar put the janitor in the blender and turned it on. A few seconds passed and the blender blew up, revealing Leonardo DaVinci and Beethoven before him.
"Gimme kush," Potiphar demanded.
"wut fuq no"
Potiphar killed them and stole their money. He bought five packs of cinnamon-flavored weed and a dose of "ecstatic" goodness.
-.-.-.-.-
DE END
-.-.-.-.-
SNP
EPISODE 5%
-.-.-.-.-
"FUQ"
He died.
-.-.-.-.-
End.
Special Episode: 4/20 Potiphanniversaweed 2016[]
Potiphar weeded smoke.
Suddenly, as he watched Hilary Clinton fly across New York in laser-shooting unicorn battle with Donald Trump, he got an idea.
"I should go die in a fire."
So Potiphar took out his grandfather's legendary Hell Boy weed. Putting it in his nose, Potiphar took the deepest breath he could ever take.
He found himself in Hell instantly. Much to his horror, there was no weed everywhere. There was only weed... on the ground.
Potiphar slammed his face against the ground and sniffed up all the kush like a Dyson vacuum cleaner before he teleported back to his home. "That was trippy as Adidas sniffing rusty staplers."
But then he took a dip of cocaine sitting on the floor and ohhhhhhWHFHHSOOOHHHS HOHGOHS HOOT HOOOOOOS HHOTHSOHHH SHOOOOO OHOH CHO CHO CHO CHOOOODAHO WHODAT MODAFUUCE FOHHH FOOO FOOP FOOP EN DE POWFEPO WEF POWEF ASDNFOW HOOOH OHHHHHHH OOOOOOO OOO OOO OO OOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO OOOOOO 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
Cory in the Dr. House if you know what I meannnnnn mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm??????????????????????????????????????gudshit??????????????????????
4/20 WO WO SHSH SH HSHS OW OW
4/20 OHHHHHH
4/20 OOOO OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
-.-.-.-.-.-
the fkin end, high-ass mofo
Potiphar's Blizzard Adventures Episode 5%: Colonel Sanders Ronald Reagan McDonald Conspiracy X-File Scandal Leak Scand Thing[]
Potiphar stole a television and watched it in the middle of a desert. In the television was Ronald Reagan McDonald, who got up to the podium in all of his clowny glory. Clearing his throat, Ronald took a deep breath.
Before he slammed the podium over and started spinning his arms repeatedly in front of him as he did a tip-toe dance with his feet.
"Booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty booty and a TINGE of shit."
Everybody cheered, brainwashed by his plans on taking over the world with McDonalds. Potiphar shook his head as he changed the channel. But in the other channel, Colonel Sanders was pointing at the dancing Ronald Reagan McDonald.
With a SMILE.
"WHY." Potiphar seethed. Colonel Sanders and Ronald Reagan McDonald were mortal enemies- and for a good reason- ever since the Burgerchick War, where burgers and chickens were thrown to the skies like it was Morgan Freeman's birthday. But ever since Soulja Boy got his position as elected president dddestroyed, the Congress of the United Smokes of Marijuana turned into a pile of non-smoking idiots who did not know how to kush the suck.
Or suck the kush.
Whatever it was. Potiphar personally liked to eat kush for breakfast, cocaine for supper, five packs of cocaine for dinner and maybe an LSD if he couldn't sleep.
And it all made him stronger, too. That was some good shit.
Angry-Angry at the Sanders-McDonald, Potiphar-Potiphar left on a journey-journey to save the world from shitty fast food chains taking over the weed stalls that had become customary to USM's culture-culture. And the journey-journey came to an end-end when he just rolled into the TV-TV.
"Sanders-Sanders," Potiphar-Potiphar said-said with-with a-a really-really angry-angry face-face, "you goin DOWN liek uh mcNUGGETZ."
"SAY WHA, SMOKAH?" Colonel asked as he twirled out a chicken wing. "And in case ya haven't noticed deez nutz..."
Sanders tore the chicken wing in half, revealing cocaine and LSD oozing out of it.
"...haz da gud shet."
"no not rly"
"but-but they have the drugs-drugs..."
Potiphar cleared his throat, preparing to use an ultimate attack. Sanders trembled in fear at the sight of a smokah getting ready to use an ultimate attack.
"Chick-Fil-A is better."
"FUQ."
He died.
McDonald was like "SAND" and turned into a bagel.
A bagel made of maple leaf-shaped weed.
And then Potiphar was like "whew das it mane" but then soulja boy returned and "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
-.-.-.-.-
THE END
-.-.-.-.-
Episode ^ snek pek
-.-.-.-.-
"BOUNCE WID MEH, KISS DAT BOOTY. BREAK IT, BREAK IT, BREAK IT BACK TO ME! GET IT RIGHT, GET IT RI-"
Potiphar flipped Soulja Boy around and pushed the Master Weed Sword through his ass and turned the boy into a kebab. Soulja Kebab was like "bitch" but then he realized he had nothing to really bitch about and cried.
The weed mastah 420 noscoped soulkabab into the skies and walked away with two swords like the edgiest shit ever and was like "huehqawdszcf;pkcsdfiwe" like a true hero would.
w8 isn't this entire thing episode ^-
-.-.-.-.-
THE END
-.-.-.-.-
Episode & snek pek
-.-.-.-.-
.
-.-.-.-.-
TO BE CONTINUED